‘She’s not a chatterbox,’ Alice agreed. ‘But she’ll talk if she’s got something to say. She got quite animated going through my wardrobe. She loves dressing up.’
‘She gets that from her mother.’ Will sounded faintly disapproving. ‘Nikki was a great one for clothes. Her appearance was always very important to her.’
‘Appearance is important to a lot of us,’ said Alice, sensing the unspoken criticism in his comment. ‘It doesn’t always mean that you’re superficial,’ she added with a slight barb, remembering how his jibe at the party had stung.
‘No, I suppose not,’ said Will, although he didn’t sound convinced, and Alice noticed darkly that he didn’t take the opportunity of apologising for calling her superficial.
‘It’s perfectly normal for Lily to like dressing up,’ she said with some tartness. ‘Most little girls do. It doesn’t mean she’s condemned to life as an empty-headed bimbo! Some of us manage to dress well and hold down a demanding job.’
‘You sound like Nikki,’ he said, and from the bleak expression that washed across his face Alice gathered that it wasn’t a compliment.
She longed to ask what Nikki had been like and what had gone wrong with their marriage, but it seemed inappropriate just then. Besides, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know just how much she resembled Lily’s mother.
‘At least I stick at my jobs,’ she pointed out with a slight edge. ‘Unlike Dee.’
‘Quite.’ Will acknowledged the hit with a sigh. ‘I should never have employed her, but she seemed so bright and lively that I thought she would be more fun for Lily to have around than some of the more experienced nannies. We obviously weren’t fun enough for her, though,’ he said, his mouth turning down at the memory of that dire week with Dee. ‘She couldn’t wait to go out as soon as I got home in the evening. I should have guessed she’d take the first chance to leave. I just didn’t realise it would come quite so soon.’
‘You couldn’t have anticipated she’d throw up a good job to follow a guy she’d only known for a week,’ said Alice, even as she wondered why she was trying to make him feel better.
Perhaps that was what superficial people did.
‘If I’d been more experienced, I might have read the signs,’ said Will. ‘She was the only nanny the agency had on their books who could leave at such short notice, and now I know why!’
‘What are you going to do now?’
Will put his arms above his head and tried to stretch out the tension in his shoulders. ‘Get another nanny, I guess.’ He leant back in his chair with a tired sigh. ‘I’ll have to get onto the agency tomorrow. I just haven’t had a chance today.’
‘It might take them some time to find someone suitable,’ Alice pointed out. ‘What happens in the meantime?’
‘I’ll just have to manage,’ said Will, rubbing his face again. ‘Lily’s due to start school in a few weeks’ time. I might be able to find someone locally who could help out until then, or maybe she could come to the project headquarters some days. It’s not a very suitable place for a child, but I can hardly leave her on her own.’
‘I’ll look after her.’
The words were out of Alice’s mouth before she had thought about them, and she was almost as startled by them as Will was. He sat bolt upright and stared at her.
‘You?’
‘Why not?’ Some other person seemed to be controlling her speech. Was she really doing this? Arguing to look after Will’s daughter for him? She must be mad! ‘I managed this afternoon.’
‘But…’ Will looked totally thrown by her offer. Almost as thrown as Alice felt herself. ‘You’re on holiday,’ he pointed out.
‘I’m not suggesting I take on the job permanently. I’m just offering to help out until you can find a qualified nanny.’
‘It’s extraordinarily kind of you, Alice,’ said Will slowly. ‘But I couldn’t possibly ask you to give up your holiday to look after Lily. You told me yourself that you were here for a complete break.’
‘A break from routine is all I need.’ Alice got to her feet and walked over to the sliding doors, trying to work out why it felt so important to persuade him.
‘I thought I wanted to spend six weeks doing absolutely nothing,’ she told him. ‘When Beth told me about her life here, about the mornings by the pool, about the parties and the warmth and the sunshine, I was envious, jealous even.’
She remembered sitting at her desk, staring out at the rain and remembering Beth’s bubbling enthusiasm. Tony hadn’t been long gone, then, and she had still been at the stage of dreading going home to an empty flat.
‘It was a bad time for me,’ she told Will. She wasn’t ready to tell him about Tony yet. ‘The idea of just turning my face up to the sun and not thinking about anything for a while seemed wonderful, and when I got the chance to come I took it…’
‘But?’ Will prompted when she paused.
Alice turned back from the window to face him. ‘But I’m bored,’ she said honestly. ‘It’s different for Beth. She makes friends wherever she goes. She likes everybody, even if they’re really dull, and she always sees the good side of people, but I’m…’
‘…not like that?’ he suggested, a hint of amusement in his eyes, and he looked suddenly so much like the Will she remembered that Alice’s heart bumped into her ribs and she forgot to breathe for a moment.
‘No,’ she agreed, hugging her arms together and drawing a distinctly unsteady breath. ‘You know what I’m like. I’m intolerant, and I get impatient and restless if I’m bored.’
‘They don’t sound like ideal characteristics for a nanny,’ Will pointed out in a dry voice, and she made herself meet his eyes squarely and not notice that disconcertingly familiar glint.
‘Lily doesn’t bore me,’ she said. ‘I like her. She reminds me of me, and I’m never bored when I’m on my own. Besides, I’m not planning on being a nanny. If this week has taught me anything, it’s how important my career is. I need to work, and if I can’t work, I need to do something.
‘I enjoyed spending this afternoon with Lily,’ she told Will. ‘I’d much rather spend the next few weeks with her than twitter away at endless coffee mornings.’
‘If that’s how you feel, why don’t you just cut short your trip?’
‘Because I can’t change my ticket. It was one of those special deals which means you can’t get any refund if you change your flight. And Roger and Beth would be hurt if I said I was bored and wanted to go home. They’ve gone to so much trouble to make me welcome,’ Alice added guiltily.
‘They might be hurt if you choose to spend the rest of your time with Lily,’ Will commented.
‘I don’t think so. Not if we present it as me helping you out.’ Alice hoped she wasn’t sounding too desperate, but, the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea.
‘I love Roger and Beth,’ she said carefully. ‘Of course I do. No one could be kinder or more hospitable, but I’m used to being independent and having my own space, making my own decisions.
‘When you’re a guest, you just fit in with everyone else,’ she tried to explain. ‘And I’m finding that harder than I thought. It’s as if I’m completely passive. I don’t decide what we’re going to do, or what we’re going to eat, or where we’re going to go. I just tag along. At least if I was looking after Lily I’d have some say in how we spent the day.’
‘I certainly wouldn’t try and dictate what you did,’