Her father did not even have to look up. ‘He has agreed to my proposition. It is done.’
Those three little words sliced into her.
He wasn’t going to marry her.
Tonight her father gave him an easy way to avoid scandal—and he had taken it.
‘It is for the best, my dear.’
If it truly was, why did her heart feel as if it had been ripped into tiny pieces that would never be put back together? How could this be for the best when the man she loved had just walked away without even saying goodbye?
‘Men are dogs.’
Surveying a plate of sweet delicacies, while seated at a table on the terrace of Hipswitch House, Katrina wished she could openly agree with Sarah’s declaration. Unfortunately she knew that if she did, it would instigate a discussion that would open the wound she was trying desperately to heal.
She had foolishly fallen in love with a man who was more concerned with what the world thought of him than he was with her. If Julian believed she was lacking, then he deserved a life devoid of the love she could give him. She only wished she could feel that way without wanting to dissolve into a puddle of tears each time she thought of him.
Sarah leaned closer from her seat beside Katrina. ‘I said men are dogs.’
‘I heard you.’ Katrina finished her last bite of moist almond cake and eyed a small bowl of trifle.
‘Am I to receive no reply?’
The trifle looked lovely. The creamy custard and vibrant red strawberries were calling out to her. One could not take a beautifully made creation such as this and not eat it. It would be an insult to her hosts.
‘What would you have me say?’ Katrina said, scooping up a large spoonful.
Sarah sipped her champagne and silently watched Katrina savour every last bit of trifle in the bowl. ‘Surely you do not intend to eat those Shrewsbury cakes as well?’
Katrina’s hand froze midway to the plate containing three biscuits. She did not miss the censure in Sarah’s tone. ‘I might have thought about it.’ She shifted her hand to pick up her glass of champagne instead.
‘I am aware that you would be content to sit here and assist Lady Hipswitch in trying all the delicacies she has provided, however, it is a garden party.’ She gave the rolling lawns and hedgerows a marked glance. ‘I believe it is customary to actually venture into the garden.’
It was safer on the terrace. This was where the desserts were. Katrina liked it here. Julian might be out there somewhere.
‘Why would you want to risk the pristine condition of your slippers on grass and soil when you can sit on this lovely stone terrace and admire the view from up here?’
Sarah took another sip of champagne and sighed. ‘Because for once I have found myself in a lovely garden during the day, and I am sitting up here when I could be exploring the rose garden or the maze. Haven’t you always wanted to attempt to find your way out of a maze?’
Katrina took a Shrewsbury cake. ‘I would rather eat biscuits.’
When she went to take another, Sarah grabbed her hand. ‘This will not end well if you do not move from that chair. It is a wonder you are not complaining of stomach pains.’
She hadn’t eaten that many desserts. Had she...?
Katrina licked her lips and wiped her mouth with a pristine white napkin that now held traces of custard. ‘Oh, very well. However, should you ruin those slippers you have talked of endlessly it will not be my doing.’
Sarah stood and opened her white parasol, shading her eyes from the afternoon light. ‘I will risk these stunning silk creations just so you do not become permanently affixed to that chair.’
Before Sarah turned back, Katrina grabbed the last Shrewsbury cake and took a big bite.
‘I can hear you chewing,’ Sarah commented from over her shoulder as she made her way to the terrace steps.
They passed a number of guests who nodded polite greetings while they walked down the stone staircase and scanned the gardens before them.
‘Where shall we go first?’ Sarah asked.
Katrina’s new bonnet shielded her eyes from the sunlight as she looked to her right. An archery competition was taking place in the shade of a large tree, between six stylishly dressed gentlemen in tailcoats, breeches and boots. Ladies and gentlemen stood about in small groups, offering their encouragement. Her heart ached.
Afraid of seeing Julian, she looked to the left and allowed her gaze to roam around the rose garden, which was enclosed with a low boxwood border. It was there that she had spoken to Madame de Lieven earlier in the day. It seemed to be where she was still holding court. Speaking with the woman once today had been enough.
The safest destination was probably ahead of them, where an enormous thick privet hedgerow divided the vast lawn in half and directed the eye to the garden’s maze off in the distance.
Katrina waved towards the hedgerow. ‘There are paths on either side. Which one should we take?’
Sarah chose the one on the right, and they started down the gravel path as a soft breeze blew against Katrina’s cheeks. She kept her attention on the maze instead of on the carefree people strolling around the lawn, afraid she would see Julian or Mr Armstrong.
‘You cannot avoid Lyonsdale for ever,’ Sarah said, adjusting her parasol.
Katrina ripped a leaf from the hedgerow and tossed it aside. ‘I am not avoiding him.’
‘You’ve hidden yourself away in your room for three days.’
‘I was absorbed in some good books.’ She plucked another leaf.
‘Katrina, soon you will return to New York and meet a man who will become so captivated with you that you will consume his thoughts. He will not be afraid to do whatever is necessary to be with you. You will fall in love, and you will forget all about Lyonsdale.’
Just the sound of his name was like a foot crushing the pieces of Katrina’s shattered heart.
‘And you know this for a fact?’ Katrina certainly did not.
Sarah gave her a reassuring smile. ‘I do. You will find love, Katrina. Of that I have no doubt.’
She had found love, only her love wasn’t returned.
She could not discuss this with Sarah. Not here. Not now. Possibly not ever. How she wished they had never left the safety of the terrace.
They walked side by side in silence as the gravel crunched under their feet. The maze was still a distance away. If she got lost inside it, could she remain in there for ever? Spending the rest of her life trying to find her way out might keep her from thinking about Julian and recalling every moment they’d spent together.
She needed to keep her thoughts from drifting to him. ‘Madame de Lieven has been so kind as to inform me that Mr Armstrong is in attendance today.’ She plucked another leaf. ‘She even saw fit to say that he had accepted today’s invitation with the express desire to see me.’
Sarah scanned the grassy lawn to their right. ‘It would be easier to avoid him if we knew what colour he was wearing.’
‘Men like him should wear garish shades to match their personalities.’
‘If only it were proper to run away if we see him approaching.’
Katrina plucked yet another leaf and tore this one is two. ‘Whoever drafted these English rules of conduct