‘No. Are you?’
Anna couldn’t look away. Her mouth wasn’t going to wait for her brain to mull over what seemed to be a perfect compromise between professional and personal. It just widened its smile and opened to say something extraordinary.
‘I will if you will.’
Something flickered in Luke’s eyes. Astonishment? Interest?
‘I don’t like parties,’ he said.
‘Neither do I,’ Anna agreed. She could have left it there. What was wrong with her today? ‘But this is a staff function. It’s polite to put in an appearance. Especially for HODs.’
Luke was frowning now. ‘You think I should go?’
‘I think there must be a lot of people in St Piran’s who would enjoy the chance to welcome you back. Good relations both within and between departments are useful.’
Luke grunted. He looked up as the meeting door swung shut behind the last person. ‘Did you know Charlotte Alexander’s pregnant?’
Was he trying to change the subject? ‘I guessed. How did you know?’
‘She told me. We need to look at possible replacements amongst the registrars we have available. Or get in a locum.’
‘Yes. How much time have we got?’
‘We should look at getting it sorted next month.’
‘It’s going to be a busy start for the New Year. Which reminds me.’ The rebellious part of Anna had finally been quelled. Maybe it was just as well Luke was so good at sticking to professional. ‘I wanted to have a chat to you about the parameters for this infection study. How retrospective do you think we should make it? I’ve got my registrar primed to start digging through records.’
‘Let’s have a look at our diaries. We should be able to squeeze in a meeting. You can bring anyone else you want involved along as well.’
‘I will.’
Not that it was likely to help, Anna thought, her heart sinking. If she was capable of having totally inappropriate thoughts about her boss when there were a dozen or more members of the department around her, what hope did she have by flanking herself with a couple of junior doctors?
She needed to escape. To get home and get a grip. Heading purposefully away from work, Anna barely registered the huge Christmas tree in the hospital foyer with its twinkling, coloured lights but she thought of it again as she turned her car towards her cottage.
This was the silly season, she reminded herself. Everything would settle down, including whatever it was that making her feel so … unsettled.
The Christmas party was well under way by the time Anna managed to get there.
The canteen was noisy and crowded, warm with the inviting aroma of hot, savoury food and people determined to enjoy themselves. There were bright balloons and streamers and huge, shiny silver stars hanging from light fittings. There were flashes of even brighter colours as well. Where on earth had people found their accessories?
A trio of nurses wore headbands with big yellow plastic stars that flashed on and off. Steffie, the staff nurse from the cardiology ward, had earrings and a matching necklace that had red and green twinkling lights. Anna spotted a set of glowing reindeer horns and Santa hats made of shiny red sequins. She passed a registrar who wore a large badge. Rudolph’s nose was flashing and a tinny version of a Christmas song could be heard competing with the background carol music in the room. More than one person rolled their eyes as the owner of the badge reached to push the nose as the song finished.
‘Not again, Peter. Please.’
A very young-looking nurse was dressed in a naughty Santa costume, the rim of white fluff on the bottom of her dress barely reaching her thighs. Anna groaned inwardly. This really wasn’t her scene at all. She knew she must look as out of place as she felt. Prim, in her skirt and jacket. It was getting harder to respond to the smiles and greetings of people when she was completely sober and they were clearly making the most of the party drinks available to those not on duty.
She felt like an island. A rather barren, rocky one, moving through a sea of festivity. She had to be the only person there who didn’t have at least a string of tinsel tied on to signal that they belonged.
And then she spotted Luke.
Another island. Even rockier, given the tight body language and an almost desperate look on his face as Anna edged through the partygoers to join the group of familiar faces.
‘Anna. Merry Christmas!’
‘Thanks, Ben. Hi, Lucy.’ Anna smiled at Ben’s wife, her gaze dropping to the bundle snuggled against the front of her body with a sling. ‘I heard you’d had another baby. Congratulations.’
‘Thanks. Yes, this is Kitty. She’s ten weeks old now.’
A small girl was peeping out from behind Lucy’s legs.
‘This must be Annabel.’ Anna searched her memory. ‘It’s her birthday soon, isn’t it?’
‘Christmas Eve.’
‘Just as well she’s a party animal.’ Ben grinned. ‘She’s loving it.’ He was holding Annabel’s little brother, Josh, but he reached down to touch his daughter. ‘Tell Dr Anna how old you’re going to be on your birthday, darling.’
‘Free,’ Annabel said shyly. Ben tickled her head and made her giggle.
Who could help smiling at the joyous sound? Glancing up, Anna saw Luke’s lips curve and it was, almost, the kind of smile he’d given her that day. Poignant. Real.
But not happy. The sound of laughter around them was virtually constant and Anna wanted to hear Luke laugh. To see and hear him forget himself in a moment of happiness. The feeling that he might never do that was heartbreaking. She tore her gaze away swiftly. Towards another smiling face.
But Josh O’Hara’s smile looked forced and the petite, blonde woman standing beside him wasn’t smiling at all. She was draining a glass of wine.
The A and E consultant noticed the direction of her gaze. ‘Anna? You won’t have met my wife. This is Rebecca.’
Charlotte and James Alexander joined the group, along with another man whom Anna recognised as Nick Tremayne, head of the Penhally medical centre.
‘Has anyone seen Kate? I told her to pop in while I was upstairs visiting my patient but I can’t find her anywhere in this crowd.’
‘Nick!’ Ben stepped closer to the newcomers. ‘So you got in to see Mrs Jennings?’
‘Yes. The surgery went well. She should be up and about with her new hip in no time. Home for the new year.’
‘How’s Jem?’ Anna asked. ‘He was the talk of the hospital there for quite a while.’
‘He’s great. Started senior school in September and seems to be loving it. Still gets a bit tired but it’s been a big year for all of us.’
‘Sure has.’ Charlotte smiled. ‘It’s going to be a special Christmas this year. Your first together as a new family.’
‘It’s going to be wonderful. If I can find my wife, that is. Excuse me. Carry on enjoying yourselves. Oops!’ Nick almost collided with a waiter bearing a tray of brimming champagne glasses.
Anna caught Luke’s gaze and there was a moment of connection there. Neither of them was enjoying themselves in this setting.
It might be better somewhere else, Anna’s response of a smile suggested. Somewhere without any of this crowd and noise. Somewhere they could be alone. Together. It had to be her imagination but Luke seemed to be silently in agreement. If nothing else, he certainly recognised the connection.