‘No! The mistake is you thinking that what you’re doing isn’t hurting this marriage. Or the people you claim to care about so much. Or do you think the work is done simply because you put a ring on my finger and a baby in my belly?’ Her voice rose, every miserable day she’d spent without him seeking redress.
‘Allegra, calm down...’
‘Don’t tell me to calm down! You asked me to bring my concerns to you. Well, you’re my concern. Your absence from our home, from our marriage bed, from our baby’s life, is my concern.’
His head went back, the streetlamps dotted along the highway throwing his features into intermittent light and dark. ‘I can’t be in your life, or the baby’s, while you’re pregnant. I can’t be around you. The risk to you both is too much.’
‘But that’s not all, is it? Please don’t insult my intelligence by denying that there isn’t more going on. You’ve shut me out completely, and you won’t tell me why. Did I do something?’ she pressed, willing to ditch her pride for a minute if that’s what it took.
Rahim shut his eyes in a pained grimace. ‘I can’t do this now, Allegra. But no, you didn’t do anything.’
‘And that’s all I’m going to get? The it’s not you, it’s me line?’
‘We’re here, so unless you want to take this outside, I suggest we shelve it.’
The Rolls glided to a perfect halt on the edge of the red carpet of the five-star hotel where the fundraiser was taking place. As patron and guest of honour, she and Rahim’s much desired presence was being televised.
Knowing she had less than ten seconds before the driver opened her door, she turned to her husband, and gave in to the urge to touch him. Placing her hand on his arm, he stalled his forward movement. ‘There are only so many things you can stick up on a shelf before the whole thing comes crashing down, Rahim. I want to make this work, but it won’t as long as you keep shutting me down.’
The door opened before she could insist on a reply. With no choice but to force a smile and face the six-deep paparazzi, Allegra slid into her role.
She was still smiling three hours later when the auction part of the evening ended, raising three times more than the charity had hoped for. When the string quartet struck up a waltz, she granted a dance to the prime minister of Dar-Aman’s neighbouring state.
Halfway through the song, she stiffened slightly as Rahim strode through the dance floor and stopped beside them.
‘I hope you don’t mind, but I need my wife back.’
‘Of course,’ the older man replied, smiling fondly at them before heading back to the table.
‘How well you seem to fool everyone,’ she muttered, willing herself not to lean into the body she’d missed more than she knew was healthy for her.
She felt a sigh move through him, then the whisper of air against her neck as he drew her closer. Despite her best efforts, both her heart and body leapt with foolish joy.
‘I know you think I’m staying away to make you suffer. But I’m not. I only have your best interest and that of our child at heart. You just have to trust me.’
‘It’s hard to do when you won’t talk to me, Rahim. Something happened in Geneva when you saw the first sonogram.’
‘I wasn’t expecting to be a father. Chalk it up to being overwhelmed.’
The song ended and she drew back more than a little forcefully from him, exasperation and anguish eating her alive. ‘Lie to yourself if you want, but don’t lie to me.’ She kept her voice low so she wouldn’t be overheard. ‘When you’re ready to let me in, I’ll be at our home. The one you insist on running away from.’
She turned and walked from the dance floor. The moment the end-of-evening speech was done, she gathered her clutch and wrap and headed for the door.
Rahim helped her into the car and slid in beside her. Neither of them spoke as they drove away from the hotel. She was so busy fighting the tears that she started when she noticed they’d pulled up at the royal private airport.
On the tarmac, Rahim’s private chopper slowly powered up. She told herself she wouldn’t look at him, or acknowledge his departure.
But she couldn’t help herself, especially when his gaze focused on her, compelled her to look at him. His eyes burned with almost demonic intensity, and when his gaze dropped to her mouth, it was all she could do not cry out and beg him to stay.
‘Take care of yourself and our baby, ya galbi. I’ll be in touch soon.’
Alighting with lithe grace, he turned to slam the door. She blocked it with a firm hand. ‘If you expect me to smile and say, “Yes, husband, go with my blessing,” you’re in for a nasty surprise. You don’t have my blessing to go, Rahim. All you’re doing is making me hate you more for what you’re doing to us. Is that what you want?’
A touch of his vibrant colour receded. His lips firmed but she was past caring. ‘I don’t need your permission to carry out my duty. Go home, Allegra. We will resolve this when I return.’ He turned and started to walk away.
She refused to con herself into not caring any more. The truth was that she cared. Far too much to stand this ravaging pain any longer.
Rahim didn’t love her.
Most times during the past weeks those four words had cut her in half. Other times she’d assured herself she was better off with a man who would disappear for weeks rather than face her and tell her he didn’t return her feelings. That her talk of fate and being where she was meant to be would never include him in any way but as the father of her baby.
Either of those states of being hadn’t stopped her from missing him all the time.
Which was why the thought of him walking away from her one more time shredded her heart. It was why she leapt out of the car and slammed the door shut.
He whirled around, his eyes widening. ‘What are you doing?’ he shouted over the loud thwopping of the chopper blades.
‘If you won’t stay and talk to me, then I’m coming with you,’ she yelled back.
He lunged forward the same time she quickened her steps. With the manufactured wind whipping at her evening gown, Allegra couldn’t gather it out of the way in time to keep her heel from catching in the hem.
She stumbled forward.
She managed to brace her fall with one hand, her palm scraping painfully along the tarmac before he snatched her up. ‘For God’s sake, are you insane?’
‘Yes. I’m off-my-head crazy, and it’s all your fault!’ she blurted before her voice fractured.
He swung her into his arms, his strides swift and urgent as he carried her back to the car.
‘Yes, I’m aware everything bad that has happened to us is my fault, but that is no reason to put yourself and the baby in danger.’ His voice was a thin, desolate line that cut her to the heart.
She glanced up at him, and noticed he’d lost every trace of colour. His eyes when he looked down at her as he deposited her in the seat were bleak, black pools.
Heart wrenching at his obvious distress, she murmured, ‘I’m fine, Rahim.’
He slid in beside her and secured her seat belt. Without answering he pressed the intercom and issued terse instructions. As the limo rolled away from the chopper, he picked up her hand and gazed at the blood seeping from her cuts. ‘I beg to differ, Allegra,’ he drawled. Taking a handkerchief from his jacket, he pressed it against the small wounds. ‘Consider your point well made.’
She gasped. ‘You think I did this deliberately?’
He shrugged.