‘And I intend to keep it that way,’ Matteo said. ‘He killed my mother. She had straightened herself out and his depravity and temper took her to an early grave.’ And then Matteo did what he never had; he exposed his fear. ‘I can’t take that risk, Abby...’
‘You’re the biggest risk-taker I know.’
‘Not with love.’ Matteo shook his head. ‘The stakes are too high. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you deserve. I never set out for us to get involved, but then, on sight I did. For the past couple of months, since the day we met...’
She waited.
‘It’s been you,’ Matteo said.
‘Just me?’
‘Abby, I might not be marriage material but it doesn’t mean that I’m not crazy about you. I’m just here to explain why it could never last. I don’t want to sleep with you tonight and for you to expect things to have changed tomorrow. They shan’t have. I’m flying back and the next time I see you...’ He shrugged, but it was a desperate one and Abby looked at a man who dealt in hours rather than days.
‘Do you see why I had them pull up such a watertight contract? I’m good for business, not much else...’
‘Matteo, I’m not holding out for a ring.’ She wasn’t sure at first what she was saying, but then Abby looked into the dark eyes of the man who had stayed loyal, who had listened, who had helped her work through dark, dark times to a point where a future seemed possible.
Even if it might not be with him.
And she was sure.
Very.
‘I’m going to go,’ Matteo said and he stood.
‘Please don’t.’ Abby looked up at him. ‘I heard the lecture...’ Their eyes met. ‘And I get it. I just want it to mean something...for us to mean something...’
‘You know that we do.’
‘And that’s all I need to know.’
It was.
Whatever they had amounted to more than a timeframe, what they felt for the other might not ripen with age but could be celebrated now.
They kissed in a way they had both tried not to, slow, precise and affirming. A kiss that was so tender that the only place it could possibly bruise was your heart. And it punctured his because never, not once, had Matteo allowed himself to even glimpse what another with heart exposed might taste like.
‘Sure?’ Matteo checked but Abby had already jumped.
The haste in his breathing as her hands stripped him of his shirt had their mouths mesh in hot wet kisses that tasted of no holding back.
Abby’s hands roamed his skin and pressed into his chest, feeling his tension and strength as he dealt with the last of his clothes. Haste left then; still kissing he undid her robe and she shrugged it off like a burden and wrapped her arms around his neck so their tongues could caress as their bodies met. His fingers strummed up her ribs and Abby rose to her toes just so that they might repeat that final ascent to the tender top again before he played her breasts.
And when his mouth lowered, when she ached for a bruising kiss, he just caressed one nipple with his tongue, over and over. Abby’s knees wanted to give way, but she stayed standing, simply for more, till she bit back the urge to beg. So desperate for more that when his face returned to hers, his kiss drowned her demand and he led her to the bed.
Matteo’s hand moved between her thighs and he played her so slowly, stroking her slick warmth, till her knees pulled up. She wanted to scream that she would not break. His skin, his scent, his want, did not match this slow perusal. He came over her and parted her legs wide. Abby met his navy eyes and she looked right at him as he first took her. She watched as he drove in slowly but as he met the depth of her desire, as welcoming muscles gripped, the crystal shattered for them both.
He kissed her eyes and her face; he moved to his side and turned her with him. Matteo stroked her thigh slowly and then down to her calf as he moved within. He positioned her leg higher and brought it onto his hip so he could thrust deeper.
Abby had given in trying to hide her feelings, and anyway there was nowhere to hide. She was moving with him, sharing intimate kisses, glad of his hands that pushed her hair back just so he could better see her come.
It felt like no other time; it was like no other time, because the feel of him swell inside her and the sudden haste in him had her sob as she tightened. Her thigh over his cramped but it only heightened the intensity as he parted her wider with deft hips that only angled to get him in deeper as Matteo came hard into her.
It left him dizzy; it made her the same. It was so intense that for a blind moment Matteo believed all things possible. He straightened her cramped limb; he bought her back down with a kiss—each pain he ironed, while still within, except for the big one.
And when he went to fix that, when in the rush of a high, he almost lost his head and told her the one thing she wanted to hear, Abby stopped him with a kiss, a hurried one, a necessary one.
Not for Matteo’s sake, but hers.
No lies, no promises.
That it meant something precious was enough.
‘YOU’RE NOT VERY good for my race preparation.’ Abby sighed as she stretched her body and tried not to give in to temptation and sleep.
They hadn’t slept, and if she did now, then she might just wake up to a call from Pedro to ask where the hell she was.
‘I’m going to ring down for coffee,’ she said, deciding caffeine was in order before facing the world. ‘Do you want one?’
‘No.’ Matteo yawned. ‘It will ruin the very long lie-in that I intend to have.’
‘How long?’ Abby groaned and pulled a face as, having briefly opened his eyes, Matteo closed them again as he spoke.
‘Well, it’s nearly five now and Kedah doesn’t get here till around midday, so about seven hours...’ he said, rubbing in just how little she had slept.
Yes, it was incredibly hard to peel herself out of bed but she did so and showered and tried to get her head into what had once been the most important day of her life.
It still was, Abby thought as she showered.
Last night made it more so but for different reasons.
By the time she came out, her coffee had arrived. Abby took it out onto the balcony and looked out to the beautiful old buildings and the sparkling Mediterranean and, yes, Monte Carlo truly was beautiful.
It matched her memories of it now.
And whatever happened from here on between herself and Matteo, she’d be okay. The last time they had awoken together it had been awkward and difficult. It wasn’t now and Abby was determined to never let it get to that again.
She did not regret last night and surely never would.
It had been a very deliberate choice that she had made.
Abby went back in and Matteo was sleeping and so she dressed in her race-day bottle-green and then headed out to face the most important day of her life.
Her working life, Abby amended.
There was more now.
The build-up to the race passed in a blur.
Pedro was locked into his video games and Bernadette was doing her own thing, catching