‘Such as?’
‘I believed you were a cold woman. One who knew exactly what she wanted and went for it, but I was wrong. The woman I see now is someone completely different. She is soft and loving, loyal and innocent, making me want things I can’t have, things I don’t deserve.’
‘What things?’ The cracked whisper sent a lust-filled heat racing around him.
‘Affection.’ He meant love, but that was a word he’d thought he’d never use out loud again. Bianca had done something to him, touched a part of his heart that had frozen the day he’d buried his father and sworn revenge and later had been shattered by a woman’s betrayal.
‘Everyone deserves affection.’
‘I’ve done bad things, Bianca. I’m not the kind of man your grandfather would wish you to date, let alone become engaged to.’
‘You’ve blackmailed me, deceived my grandfather and all of New York’s society with our engagement and made me an accomplice in that deceit. What could be worse?’
If he told her of his past, about what had made him the man he was today, would it end this madness he was feeling? Would it stop the thoughts of making her truly his? Of course it would. A woman like Bianca Di Sione would want nothing to do with a criminal, even if his childhood record had been wiped away, as if those years in prison had never happened. But they had and he’d never forget them.
‘I am what I am today, cold and calculating, because I had to learn to survive on my own, to fend for myself and fight my own battles—literally.’ For a moment his mind raced back to those dark days on the streets of St Petersburg.
She reached up and touched his face, her palm soft against his skin, and he bit down hard to prevent himself from pulling her against him. She was seriously testing him. He caught her hand in his, her eyes widening with shock as he held her wrist. Her gaze held his, a hint of the strength he’d first seen in her coming forward.
‘I was in prison, Bianca—for five years.’
She gasped and the horrified look on her face told him all he needed to know. ‘What for?’ she asked, trepidation in those whispered words.
‘For trying to stay alive.’
‘I don’t understand.’
No, she wouldn’t. How could she when she’d never worried or wanted for anything? A protected princess.
‘After my parents died, I had no choice but to live rough on the streets of St Petersburg. I stole to eat and fought for a safe place to sleep. One day I was caught stealing bread and potatoes for myself and the younger kids.’ The embittered words snapped from him as he remembered the day he’d arrived at the prison, the hell of the place shaping who he now was.
‘That was the home you mentioned the other day? How old were you—when you went to prison?’
‘Thirteen.’
Why hadn’t she backed away? Why hadn’t she pulled herself free of him in disgust, knowing she could truthfully add thief to the charges she’d already laid on him? He let go of her and turned away, hardly able to bear the suspense of waiting for her to do just that. Why had he told her? He’d never let anyone know and had gone to great lengths to cover up that part of his past.
* * *
Bianca watched as Liev turned away from her. She should be glad. He was allowing her to walk away, but something held her there. This wasn’t like that night ten years ago when she’d overheard the bets being made by the boy at school she’d fallen in love with. He’d been betting on whether she’d sleep with him by the end of the prom. She’d been used and the humiliation of that had given her a resilience she’d never known.
She’d been used again, but this time she knew the facts. All of them, from his sad childhood to the reason he was blackmailing her today. The two inextricably linked. She knew this and now as she watched Liev standing alone and proud on the edge of the beach, she felt her heart melt and fill with love for him, for the child he’d been and the man he’d become.
The past few days she’d wanted nothing more than for Liev to kiss her. Deep down, on a level she’d never experienced before, she also knew that if he did so again, it wouldn’t stop there. There was no doubt in her mind that he was the man she’d been waiting for. They might not share a long-lasting love as she’d always dreamt it would be, but right now on this island they would be lovers.
‘None of that matters, Liev.’ She moved towards him and saw his shoulders stiffen and ached to touch him.
‘How can you say that?’ The gruffness of his voice told her he was struggling with his emotions as much as she was.
‘Because nothing matters. Nothing at all. Your past or mine. Not even the future.’ She reached out and touched her hand to his arm, felt the rigidness become more taut beneath her palm. ‘All that matters is this moment right now.’
He turned towards her, stroked his hand against her hair. ‘How can I have ever thought you were cold and emotionless?’
‘Everyone hides something, but I can’t hide from you any more. I want you to kiss me, Liev.’ A nervous flutter skittered in her stomach as she said the words. Would he want to kiss her if he knew how inexperienced she was? She’d never even kissed a man before him, not really kissed. That tantalising taste of what could be had left her wanting more.
‘Are you sure?’ His eyes darkened as his fingers tangled in her hair, bringing her closer to him.
She’d never been so sure of anything in her life. ‘I’ve been hiding for too long and tonight I want to change that.’
His eyes, dark and swirling with desire, searched hers, and then, so slowly the anticipation was almost unbearable, he lowered his head and kissed her, gently at first, but as she wrapped her arms around his neck, it became harder and more demanding. His fingers clutched her hair, holding her just where he needed her, and the flames of passion he’d been stirring since the moment they first met exploded into life.
‘You have no idea what you do to me, Bianca.’ He broke the kiss and looked at her, his fingers stroking her cheek, the tenderness of the touch almost unbearable. She felt his breathing, deep and uneven, as his chest rose and fell against her, sparking more desire.
Did he have any idea what he was doing to her? Did he know she wanted to cast aside her ten-year vow and allow herself to love a man, in every sense of the word—even if it was just for one night? She was under no illusions it would be more, but maybe, just maybe, love could change that.
‘Neither do I,’ she said, and a soft blush crept over her cheeks, but she had to tell him this was new to her. ‘I have never done this, Liev.’
He frowned. ‘Seduce a man?’
Was she seducing him? She had no idea how to. Embarrassment flooded her and she lowered her gaze. ‘Seduction is not something I’m well practised in.’
His hands moved to hold her arms and he held her gently away from him and looked at her, his expression hard and serious. ‘Is that so?’
Her heart was thumping hard as she waited for the rejection that would surely follow such a revelation. Inside she was eighteen again. Uncertainty filled her, almost dousing the flames of desire which were leaping inside her. The only difference was that this time she didn’t want to walk away, didn’t want to deny herself the chance of loving.
Slowly she nodded, too afraid her voice would fail her if she tried to say anything. Nervously she bit her lower lip and looked up at him, his hard expression almost unreadable. If he was going to push her away, she wished he’d just do it, instead of prolonging the agony.
His hands slid down her arms. Then he took her hand in his. Without saying anything, he led her from the garden, through the homely comfort of the living room to his bedroom. With every step her heart thumped in nervous anticipation.