Sometimes she found herself longing for him to tire of her and kick her out since she didn’t have the strength to end it herself. Wouldn’t such a move force her to embrace the new life in Norfolk which she’d done absolutely nothing about—not since the day he’d given her his key and then made her come on the narrow bed in her humble bedsit, which these days she only ever visited when Renzo was away on business?
She could hear him telling his driver to take the rest of the night off and that they’d get a taxi home when the ball was over and she wished he wouldn’t be so thoughtful with his staff. No wonder they all thought the world of him. But Darcy didn’t need any more reasons to like him. Hadn’t it been easier not to let her heart become involved when their affair had been more low-key, rather than this new-found openness with trips to the opera and theatre and VIP balls?
And now he was taking her arm and leading her towards the red-carpeted marble staircase where the paparazzi were clustered. She’d known they were going to be there, but had also known she couldn’t possibly avoid them. And anyway, they weren’t going to be looking at her. They would be far too busy focussing on the Hollywood actress who was wearing the most revealing dress Darcy had ever seen, or the married co-star she was rumoured to be having an affair with.
Flashbulbs exploded to light up the warm night and although Darcy quickly tried to turn her head away, the press weren’t having any of it. And wasn’t that a TV camera zooming in on her? She wondered why she had let the dress designer put these stupid clips in her hair which meant she couldn’t hide behind the usual comforting curtain of her curls. This was the most high-profile event they’d attended as a couple but there had been no way of getting out of it—not when it was Renzo’s foundation and he was the man who’d organised it.
She felt like a fox on the run as they entered the ballroom but the moment she was swallowed up by all that glittering splendour, she calmed down. The gilded room had been decked out with giant sprays of pink-and-white cherry blossoms, symbolising the hope which Renzo’s foundation brought to suffering children in war-torn areas of the world. Tall, guttering candles gave the place a fairy-tale feel. On a raised dais, a string quartet was playing and the exquisitely dressed guests were mingling in small chattering groups. It was the fanciest event she’d ever attended and dinner had been prepared by a clutch of award-winning chefs. But the moment the first rich course was placed in front of her, Darcy’s stomach did an intricate kind of twist, which meant she merely pushed the food around her plate and tried not to look at it. At least Renzo didn’t notice or chide her for her lack of appetite as he might normally have done—he was too busy talking to fundraisers and donors and being photographed next to the diamond necklace which was the star lot for the night’s auction.
But after disappearing into one of the restrooms, where a splash of her face with cold water made her queasiness shift, Darcy became determined to enjoy herself. Stop living so fearfully, she chided herself as she chatted attentively whenever she was introduced to someone new and rose eagerly to her feet when Renzo asked her to dance. And that bit felt like heaven. His cheek was warm against hers and her body fitted so snugly into his that she felt like one of those salt and pepper shakers you sometimes found in old-fashioned tea rooms—as if they were made to be together. But they weren’t. Of course they weren’t.
She knew this couldn’t continue. She’d been seduced into staying but if she stayed much longer she was going to have to tell him the truth. Open up about her past. Confess to being the daughter of a junkie and all the other stuff which went with it. He would probably end their affair immediately and a swift, clean cut might just be the best thing. She would be heartbroken for a while of course, but she would get over it because you could get over just about anything if you worked at it. It would be better than forcing herself to walk away and having to live with the stupid spark of hope that maybe it could have worked.
‘So... How is the most beautiful woman in the room?’ He bent his head to her ear. ‘You seem to be enjoying yourself.’
She closed her eyes and inhaled his sultry masculine scent. ‘I am.’
‘Not as bad as you thought it was going to be?’
‘Not nearly so bad.’
‘Think you might like to come to something like this again in the future?’
‘I could be persuaded.’
He smiled. ‘Then let’s go and sit down. The auction is about to begin.’
The auctioneer stepped onto the stage and began to auction off the different lots which had been donated as prizes. A holiday in Mauritius, a box at the opera and a tour of Manchester United football ground all went under the hammer for eye-watering amounts, and then the diamond necklace was brought out to appreciative murmurs.
Darcy listened as the bidding escalated, only vaguely aware of Renzo lifting a careless finger from time to time. But suddenly everyone was clapping and looking at them and she realised that Renzo had successfully bid for the necklace and the auctioneer’s assistant had handed it to him and he was putting it on her neck. She was aware of every eye in the room on them as he fixed the heavy clasp in place and she was aware of the dazzle of the costly gems.
‘In truth you should wear emeralds to match your eyes,’ he murmured. ‘But since diamonds were the only thing on offer they will have to do. What do you think, cara?’
Darcy couldn’t get rid of the sudden lump in her throat. It felt like a noose. The stones were heavy and the metal was cold. But there was no time to protest because cameras were flashing again and this time they were all directed at her. Sweat beaded her forehead and she felt dizzy, only able to breathe normally when the rumour went round that the Hollywood star was exiting through the kitchens and the press pack left the ballroom to follow her.
Darcy turned to Renzo, her fingertips touching the unfamiliar stones. ‘You do realise I can’t possibly accept this?’ she questioned hoarsely.
‘And you do realise that I am not going to let you give it back? Your tastes are far too modest for a woman in your position. You are the lover of a very wealthy man, Darcy, and I want you to wear it. I want you to have some pretty jewels for all the pleasure you’ve given me.’
His voice had dipped into a silken caress, which usually would have made her want to melt, but he made it sound like payment for services rendered. Was that how he saw it? Darcy’s smile felt as if someone had stitched it onto her face with a rusty needle. Shouldn’t she at least try to look as a woman should look when a man had just bought something this valuable? And wasn’t she in danger of being a hypocrite? After all, she had a key to his Belgravia home—wasn’t that just a short step to accepting his jewels? What about the designer dress she was wearing tonight, and the expensive shoes? He’d bought those for her, hadn’t he?
Something like fear clutched at her heart and she knew she couldn’t put it off any longer. She was going to have to come clean about her mum and the children’s home and all the other sordid stuff.
So tell him. Explain your aversion to accepting gifts and bring this whole crazy relationship to a head, because at least that will end the uncertainty and you’ll know where you stand.
But in the car he kissed her and when they reached the apartment he kissed her some more, unclipping the diamond choker and dropping it onto a table in the sitting room as casually as if it had been made of paste. His hands were trembling as he undressed her and so were hers. He made love to her on one of the sofas and then he carried her into the bedroom and did it all over again—and who would want to talk about the past at a moment like that?
They made