His mother had been deprived of her daughter—her pride and joy. For an instant the image of Tanya’s lifeless body assaulted his brain. His sister—driven to take her own life. And he hadn’t known—hadn’t been able to protect her.
His mother had been left with him, her son, a mirror image of her violent criminal husband. The son she had never been able to love but had done her duty by. Until he’d driven her to snap point and she’d washed her hands of him.
For a split second the memory of the packed case and the hand-over to social services jarred his brain. No fault of hers—in her eyes he’d been on the road to following his father’s footsteps. His impassioned pleas for forgiveness and promises to reform would have simply been further shades of the man she despised.
Ethan shut down the thought process and concentrated on Ruby’s face. Those sapphire eyes, delicate features and that determined chin. Her expression of challenge had morphed into one of concern and he forced his vocal cords into action and his face into neutral.
‘There is nothing wrong with wanting children. I just think you need to give single parenthood a lot of thought and not enter the whole venture with rose-coloured spectacles. That’s all.’
End of subject, and Ethan picked up his knife and fork and started to eat.
Ruby twirled a tendril of hair around her finger. ‘What about you? Where do you stand on the venture into parenthood? Don’t you hope for a family one day?’
‘No.’
The idea of a family was enough to bring him out in hives. Family had brought him nothing except a one-way channel to loss, heartbreak and rejection. So what was the point?
‘Never?’ Surprise laced her tone.
‘No.’ Perhaps monosyllables would indicate to Ruby that this wasn’t a topic he wished to pursue.
‘Why not?’
Clearly the indirect approach hadn’t worked—so it was time to make it clear.
‘That’s my personal choice.’
Hurt mingled with anger flashed across her features. Fair enough, Ethan. He’d been mighty fine with a personal conversation when it was her personal life under discussion.
‘In brief, it’s not what I want. Like you. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am and I don’t want to rock the boat. I’m exactly where I want to be. And I know exactly where I’m going.’
‘Isn’t that a bit boring? I mean, will that be your life for ever? Buy another property...set up another venture? What happens when you run out of countries?’
Ethan blinked at the barrage of questions. ‘Boring? I run a global business, travel the world on a daily basis, have more than enough money and a pretty nifty lifestyle. So, nope. Not humdrum.’
‘But...’ A shake of her head and she turned her attention back to her plate.
Following suit, he took another mouthful, tried to appreciate the delicacy of the truffles, the infusion of port, the tenderness of the meat. To his own irritation he couldn’t let it go.
‘But what?’
Her shoulders lifted and for a second his gaze lingered on the creamy skin, the enticing hint of cleavage.
‘That world of yours—that non-rocking boat of yours—only contains you, and that sounds lonely. Unless you’re in a relationship that you haven’t mentioned?’
‘Nope. It’s a one-man vessel and I’m good with that.’
‘So you don’t want a long-term relationship or kids? Ever?’
‘I don’t want any type of relationship. Full stop. I make sure my...my liaisons are brief.’ Like a night—a weekend, tops.
Ruby’s eyed widened and his exasperation escalated as he identified compassion in her.
‘But you’ve worked so hard to build up Caversham. What’s the point if you don’t have someone to hand it over to?’
‘That’s hardly a reason to have a child.’
‘Not a reason, but surely part of being a parent is the desire to pass on your values or beliefs. A part of yourself.’
The very idea made him go cold. ‘I think that’s a bit egocentric. You can’t have children just to inculcate them with your beliefs.’
‘No!’ She shook her head, impatience in the movement. ‘You’re making it sound as if I want to instil them with questionable propaganda. I don’t. But I do believe we are programmed with a need to nurture. To love and be loved.’
‘Well, I’m the exception to the rule.’
Her chin angled in defiance. ‘Or your programming has gone haywire.’
Ethan picked his glass up and sipped the fizz. No way would he rise to that bait.
‘The point is, even if you’re right, it is wrong to put that burden on someone. That responsibility. You shouldn’t have a child just because you want someone to love and love you back. There are enough people out there already. The world doesn’t need more.’
‘Actually...’ Ruby hesitated.
‘Actually, what?’
‘Nothing.’
Before he could respond the boom of Tony Pugliano’s voice rang out. ‘So, my friends. It was all to your liking?’
* * *
Ruby’s thoughts whirled as she strove to concentrate on Tony’s question, primed her lips to smile. Maybe this was an intervention from providence itself—a reinforcement of her decision to cease with the confidences.
‘It was incredible, Tony!’ she stated.
‘How could it be anything else?’ the chef declared. ‘And now we have the perfect end to the perfect meal—I have for you a sample of the very best desserts in the world.’
He waved an expansive hand and the waiter appeared with an enormous platter, which he placed in the middle of the table.
‘I, Tony Pugliano, prepared these with my own hands for your delectation. There is praline mousseline with cherry confit, clementine cheesecake, almond and black sesame pannacotta and a dark chilli chocolate lime torta.’ He beamed as he clapped Ethan on the shoulder. ‘And of course all this is on the house.’
There went her jaw again—headed kneewards. On the house. She doubted such words had ever crossed Tony’s lips before.
‘You look surprised. No need. Because never, never can I thank this man enough. You saved my Carlo—my one and only child. You are a good man, Ethan, and I thank you with all my heart.’
Tony seemed sublimely unaware of Ethan’s look of intense discomfort. Yet the shadow in Ethan’s eye, the flash of darkness, made her chest band in instinctive sympathy.
‘I think this meal goes a long way towards thanks,’ she said. ‘It was divine. I don’t suppose you would share the secret of the truffle sauce in...?’
The tactic worked. As if recalled to his chef persona, Tony gave a mock roar and shook his head.
‘Never. Not even for you would I reveal the Pugliano family secret. It has passed from one generation to the next for centuries and shall remain sacrosanct for ever. Now—I shall leave you to enjoy the fruit of my unsurpassable skills.’
Once he had made a majestic exit, Ethan nodded. ‘Thanks for the change of subject.’
‘No problem.’ Ruby reached out and selected a mini-dessert. ‘I knew it took more than charm to get Tony Pugliano grazing from your hand.