But if all that sounds too choreographed, many things can spoil the script. Crosswinds, early steep climbs and other factors can and do upset the course of all the above. Early difficulties in a race provide opportunities for the strongest riders or teams to attack early and turn everything on its head. It happens a lot, especially in single-day races, but that’s another thing I’ll cover later in the book.
The British rider Steve Cummings is a current top dog at spotting the right combination of riders for a breakaway to succeed, and when a stage suits him he’ll be in it. ‘I focus totally on the first ninety minutes of a stage I know I can do well in,’ he says. ‘I don’t even think about the rest of it, I just psyche myself up for the first ninety minutes, because that’s when you have to give everything you’ve got to ensure you get in. Once I’ve done that, and I’m in, then I think about the rest of the stage.’
Cummings’s preference is for rolling terrain, or medium mountains in cycling parlance, a route with several quite long climbs, but not the big mountains of the Alps and Pyrenees. The stage I’ll try to describe here isn’t like that. It’s a typical, if imagined, stage in the Alps. One that finishes on top of one of the famous climbs: Alpe d’Huez, say, or the Col du Galibier.
Okay, on with the stage. Let’s say an early break has formed, so now the race leader’s team by tradition assumes control at the front of the peloton, trying to go fast enough to discourage further attacks but not so fast that the breakaway is caught early. If it is caught, the attacks will start all over again.
With the race leader’s team in control, the race is in perfect balance, and will stay that way for a while. Time to consider the physical presence of the Tour de France, because it’s immense. For a start there’s the Caravane Publicitaire, the procession of vehicles that precedes the riders, and it’s spectacular and weird in equal measure.
If you watch the Tour de France by the roadside – and everybody should do it once because it’s an incredible experience, very different from seeing the race on TV – the first race vehicles start zooming past you at least two hours before any cyclist is seen. They might be media or logistics vehicles on the way to the stage finish, vehicles involved with safety or official duties; cars, lorries, motorbikes and buses all zoom by. Then, after a short pause, the Caravane arrives.
Have you seen a giant fibre-glass insect lying on a flat-bed truck, or a man driving a huge gas canister or a giant wheel of cheese? Or have you been pelted with cheap plastic knick-knacks flung from a float by moonlighting students? Well you will; you’ll see them all, along with more elaborate creations, in the Caravane Publicitaire. All are products of the imaginations of publicists or design agencies, who embrace the maxim ‘weird is wonderful’, and weirder is always better for the Tour de France.
The Caravane takes forty-five minutes to pass. Some vehicles stop to better distribute their branded plastic tat, while those in others just chuck it in the direction of spectators as they drive by. Woe betide you if you try to race a French granny for a free Esso keyring. She will trample you down and her grand-kids will dance on your spine.
Once the Caravane has gone there’s another lull, an even shorter one punctuated by waves of motorbikes and cars, all part of the Tour, all speeding to where they are needed next. To marshal the race, maybe, or man one of the feed stations. They pass like squally showers, with an increasing number of French police connected to the race mixed in. Team vehicles too. Each passing batch is greeted with enthusiasm. Is this the race? Are the riders coming now? No. You can’t mistake it when they do.
First there’s a Mexican wave of noise. It’s been noisy so far but the noise has been random, without any order to it. This noise has order, and depth, and it grows louder and louder. On flat stages the noise travels from village to village towards you, drowning the throbbing of the helicopters above the race at first, but then they get too near to be drowned out. There are always at least two helicopters above the riders, swapping with others, leapfrogging to provide total stage cover for TV directors to switch to. Nothing is better than a view from above to show what’s happening in a road race.
You feel as well as hear the race long before you see it, but that feeling is magnified in the mountains. Go high and you might be standing directly above the race as it approaches. It ascends to you, passing thousands of spectators lining the route below you. The sound of their cheers and cries is trapped by the surrounding rocks and bounces off them, reverberating upwards. Alpe d’Huez, for example, is a natural theatre. The climb is named after a ski village at its summit, and it starts directly below the finish in Bourg d’Oisans. The road between the two places goes up in tier after tier, twenty-two hairpin bends and twelve straights, one piled on top of the other.
Standing, waiting for the race near the summit of Alpe d’Huez or Mont Ventoux, as I have done, the sound rises up to meet you, to engulf you. The helicopters fly slowly upwards, their blades beating the air, sending pulses of sound pushed by thousands of shouting, screaming voices, rolling upwards like thunder, charging the air so it prickles with anticipation.
The riders get nearer and nearer, clawing their way upwards like a giant bellowing beast. Nearer and nearer, our anticipation growing. Cars, motorbikes, police whistles, revving engines, shouting and screaming. A solid wave of sound crashing up a rocky wall, rolling onwards and upwards. The anticipation grows stronger and louder, until …
They’re here, the first riders, though you can’t see them yet because people further down the road have rushed out to see them before you do. The early breakaway has been caught, and now the best in the race are fighting it out for the stage. They include most of the overall contenders.
Anticipation turns into hysteria now, and formerly responsible people with good jobs and old enough to know better go glassy-eyed. They jump up and down, shouting themselves stupid. Kids grab their parents’ hands for reassurance. What’s happening? Now you can taste the Tour, it’s an actual physical thing, like a summer storm and the relief of rain.
People crowd the riders, some run alongside, roaring incoherently at them. They ignore everything that isn’t a clear threat, but fans who get too close risk a slap from their hero, and possible rough treatment from the rest of the crowd.
The stage leaders’ faces are masks of concentration. Only total commitment and solid self-belief keeps them where they are. Let go now, and it’s over. There’s a belief in pro road racing that everybody at the pointy end of a mountain stage in a Grand Tour is three minutes from letting go. That’s how they get through, they hold on for these three minutes, then the next three, and the next, and the three after that, until they cross the finish line or they cross their physiological and/or mental thresholds.
Then, one by one, riders let go. That’s what they call it. They say, ‘I had to let go’ or ‘I blew’ – another cycling word. The stage is over for them now, and all they can hope for is to limit their time losses.
Sometimes they lose ground slowly, agonisingly. They drop to the back of a group then fight forwards, drop back, then forwards again, then back until this time there’s a gap to the back of the group, and it grows bigger. Limitations accepted, they join the group behind, promising to challenge later. It’s not all over, they think. They will come back, they think. They seldom do, not at this stage. Others fail in a worse way. They go into the red, a zone of effort the body can’t maintain. It goes into oxygen debt, a debt that can only be repaid by slowing down. And if they stay too long in the red, and some can because toughness is high up on a pro road racer’s job description, they slow down rapidly and irretrievably.
All the above has played out on this final climb. We are three kilometres from the summit now. The front group of five looks good. Behind them more flog past where I stand, some don’t look so good, but others have found something; they are chasing, eyes full of hope and fixed ahead. Ones, twos, little groups and bigger groups, pass until the last big one, known as the auto-bus.
That’s where the sprinters live on mountain stages, helping each