‘I’m not surprised. Stella, you were engaged.’
‘For about five minutes.’ She walked towards the woodburning stove and stared at the glass. ‘I just wish he hadn’t broken it off at Christmas. It made it harder, somehow.’
‘He shouldn’t have broken it off at all.’
‘That was inevitable.’ She turned, resigned to having the conversation she’d hoped to avoid. ‘Daniel doesn’t believe he’d be a good husband and he definitely doesn’t think he’d be a good father—you know how his mind works. The surprise wasn’t that he broke off the engagement, but that he proposed to me in the first place. If I’d been stronger, I would have said no. I knew it wasn’t what he wanted.’ Lost in thought, dwelling in the land of ‘what if’, Stella lifted one of the logs piled in a basket, ready to be used on the fire, and rubbed her fingers along the rough bark. Then she looked at Patrick. ‘Enough of me. How are you doing? If anything, that Christmas was worse for you than it was for me. Your wife left.’
‘The difference is that Carly and I weren’t in love. I was angry with her for ending it at Christmas, and I feel for the children not having a mother around, but for myself…’ He gave a dismissive shrug. ‘The one thing about being unhappily married is that divorce feels like a blessing. But I’m aware that I’m probably part of the reason that Daniel got cold feet.’
‘I think it was more like frostbite than cold feet,’ Stella said lightly, ‘and it wasn’t your fault.’
‘Carly walked out on Christmas Eve. Daniel broke off your engagement on the same day. Believe me, there was a connection.’
Remembering just how awful that Christmas had been for both of them, Stella sighed. ‘You and I spent it on our own, trying to smile around your kids, do you remember?’
‘I remember that you were brave,’ Patrick said gruffly, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder. ‘After Daniel walked out, you disappeared for five minutes and then came back with your make-up on and a smile on your face, determined to give my children a good time. Because of you, I don’t think Alfie even noticed that his mother wasn’t there.’
‘The children gave me something to focus on. And you and I did share that bottle of champagne, which helped. And we ate every scrap of chocolate from the Christmas tree.’
‘Then I went and picked up a kitten from the farmer next door, do you remember?’
It was one of the few happy memories among the miserable ones. ‘Giving Alfie that kitten was an inspired idea. And it was gorgeous.’
‘That kitten is now a cat and has just produced kittens of her own.’
‘Really? Alfie must love that.’
‘I’ve said he can keep two. I have to find homes for the other two. Our life is chaotic enough without four kittens.’ Patrick’s gaze settled on her face. ‘You really were brave, Stella. I know how much you love Dan. The fact that you held it together was nothing short of amazing.’
‘If you’d seen me two weeks later, you wouldn’t have thought I was amazing. I was in pieces.’
‘I’m not surprised.’
Talking about the past had removed any awkwardness between them. ‘I’m worried about how Daniel is going to react when he finds out that I’m living in your stable.’
‘I don’t care what he thinks.’ Tough, calm and sure of himself, Patrick removed the log from her hands. ‘My property. My decision.’
“Well, that’s a non-confrontational approach.’ Stella watched as he opened the wood-burning stove. ‘I don’t want to cause a problem between you. I don’t want you falling out over me.’
‘We have to fall out over something. It won’t be the first time it’s a woman. I still owe him for stealing Nancy Potter away from me when I was eight. I adored that girl. I’ve had a thing for pigtails ever since.’ His smile was slow and sexy and Stella wondered for the millionth time why she couldn’t have fallen for him instead of his brother.
You always have to do things the hard way, Stella.
Dismissing her mother’s voice from her head, Stella slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and forced herself to keep it light. ‘So—was this Nancy Potter pretty?’
‘She had red hair and a fierce temper.’
‘Sounds scary.’
‘Relationships are always scary.’
She wasn’t going to argue with that. ‘You and I both want the same out of life. I met you and Dan at exactly the same time, that week I started at the hospital five years ago. Why couldn’t you and I have fallen in love with each other?’
Patrick fed the log into the stove. ‘Because you’re a beautiful blonde and I hate stereotypes.’
Stella lifted a hand to her hair. ‘I could dye it black?’
‘Wouldn’t make any difference. There was never any chemistry between us.’
Stella watched his muscles flex as he reached for another log. ‘Do you remember that time you kissed me, just to check?’
‘Daniel punched me immediately afterwards.’ Patrick lit the fire. ‘He didn’t want you involved with me in case I hurt you.’
They exchanged a look, both thinking the same thing.
That, in the end, it had been Daniel who had hurt her.
‘Am I going to be able to do this?’ Stella was asking herself as much as him. ‘Am I going to be able to work alongside him every day and not wish I was with him?’
‘You tell me. Are you?’
Stella gave a murmur of frustration. ‘I don’t know. I hope so.’ She paced the length of the living room, hating herself for being so unsure and indecisive. ‘Yes, of course I can do it. And if it feels difficult—well, I just need to keep reminding myself that he and I don’t want the same things out of life.’
Patrick coaxed the flame to life. ‘You just need to keep reminding yourself that when it comes to women, Daniel is nothing but trouble. We Buchannans are seriously bad at relationships.’
‘You’re not.’
He rocked back on his heels. ‘I’m divorced, Stella.’
‘Your wife was clearly deranged.’
‘Or maybe I’m not easy to live with.’
‘No man is easy to live with,’ Stella said dryly. ‘You’re a different species. I just wish I’d listened to you when you warned me about Dan.’
‘It wouldn’t have made a difference. Women never listen when it comes to Daniel. It’s those blue eyes of his. For some reason I’ve never understood, he can seduce a woman with a single glance.’ Patrick stood up and brushed the dust from his long black coat. ‘I admire you. He wouldn’t give you marriage so you walked away. You refused to accept less than you deserve.’
Stella watched as the fire whispered and licked at the logs and then flared to life. ‘Why does that sound better than it feels?’
‘Because the right thing isn’t always the easy thing.’ Patrick studied her for a long moment. ‘Why now? Why did you come back now?’
As the room grew warmer, Stella unwound the scarf from her neck. ‘Because I hated London. Because two years is a long time. Because I worked here for three years and I miss all my friends. Because I can see how wrong Daniel was for me. And because I really am over him.’