Oh, God. Not a New York guy. No. No, no, no. She shook her head as if that could ward him off. When Gabe looked up, he was shaking his head, too. “I was born there, but I’ve been away for years. I came here from Cincinnati.”
“Right,” Veronica said. “Sure.” She crossed her arms more tightly and waited until Lauren finally sent Gabe back toward the small office behind the circulation desk to fill out some paperwork. Then she led Veronica to the conference room.
“Good Lord, girl,” Lauren said as soon as the door closed. “What the hell is wrong with you? If I was ten years younger and single... Did you see that boy?”
Veronica waved a frantic hand. “I don’t have time for that right now!”
“Seriously? I think there really are too many hormones in our food these days, because you’re not okay. And here I thought having firefighters right next door was distracting. Now none of us will get any work done.”
Veronica shot a mournful glance toward the door as if she could see through it. “Did he just start today?”
“Yes, Jean-Marie sprung him on me. I knew she’d been interviewing for Sophie’s replacement, but I didn’t know she’d decided to import a little testosterone from Cincinnati. He’s here to drag us into the twenty-first century, I gather. Ebooks. Digital audio. Maybe even a 3D printer. Basically, he’s going to be a giant pain in my ass, but regardless, I’m going to hook you two up if it kills me.”
“What?” Veronica gasped. “No, you are not! I have problems. Big problems!”
Lauren immediately sobered. “What’s wrong?”
Veronica grabbed her arms. “You know what’s wrong!”
Lauren looked so surprised by Veronica’s freak-out that Veronica felt immediately embarrassed. This was who she was on the inside. This wasn’t the Veronica she let other people see. She didn’t want even her friends to know how weak she really was. She managed to lower her voice but she still couldn’t stop the fear from bubbling up. “That stupid show is in eight hours and I can’t do it.”
Lauren rolled her eyes and then carefully extracted her elbows from Veronica’s grip. “Calm down. You’re going to be great. We’re all coming.”
“No. You don’t understand. I...” She stared at Lauren’s face, wanting to tell her the truth. Wishing she could. But this lie was all she had anymore. It felt like all she’d ever had.
She’d spent the first twenty-one years of her life waiting for her real life to start, planning and saving for it. She’d put off making close friends and falling in love and doing crazy things and taking chances, because she’d thought she would do all that once she got to New York. And what if she got so cozy and tied down in Wyoming that she never went? No. Too much of a risk. So she’d waited.
But then she’d finally gotten to the big city, and...none of that had been real, either. And now here she was back home, living the biggest lie of all.
So instead of saying, I’m a complete impostor, and I can’t pull that off in a live show, she went with the almost-true version of it. “It takes me days to write a column and do research and get everything right and still be entertaining. I can’t do all of that in front of people!”
“Then why did you arrange these shows?”
“I didn’t! It wasn’t my idea. My boss told me I was going to do them, and I needed the extra money, so I said yes instead of sobbing and running into the hills!”
Lauren was clearly trying to look patient, but she had to press her lips together to hide a smile. It didn’t work.
“Help me,” Veronica begged. “Laugh if you want to, but tell me I can back out.”
“You can’t back out,” Lauren said immediately. “And you’re going to be great. People like you. You’re nice. You’re funny. And it’s at a martini bar. Everyone will be drunk and ready to laugh at anything.”
Veronica nodded, trying to psych herself up. “Yes. All right. Count on drunkenness.”
“Exactly! And didn’t you say that you get to choose the questions?”
“Yes, but I only have a few minutes. Everyone will put their questions in a bowl, and I get to read them before I start.”
Lauren’s face brightened as if the whole problem were solved. “Perfect. Just pick some questions that are close to ones you’ve dealt with in the paper. Death of a parent, cheating spouse, best-friend drama. You already know those answers.”
Lauren was right. Veronica did know those answers. Maybe she could handle this. “So I shouldn’t back out?”
“Oh, my God,” Lauren groaned. “Get out of here. I’ll see you tonight.”
Veronica didn’t move. She couldn’t actually think of a way to back out of the show, but she’d thought her more experienced, smart-as-a-whip friend would come up with a plan, and all she’d come up with was encouragement. “I have to do this?” Veronica tried one more time.
“Yep. No choice.”
“Okay,” Veronica whispered. “I’ll be fine, right?” When Lauren’s eyebrow rose in impatience, Veronica nodded. “I’ll be fine,” she said more firmly.
“You’ll be great,” Lauren insisted.
“Right. Thank you for the good advice. And thanks for trying to fix me up with the new guy. He really is hot, but I can’t deal with that right now. Still...a boy librarian?”
“A supersexy boy librarian. Who just moved to town and probably needs new friends.”
Veronica waved her hand. “I can’t. Really.” For so many reasons. “I’d better go. I’ve got to spend an hour picking out an outfit and then I’ll reread my old columns. You’re a genius.”
“I know. See you tonight.”
Veronica tried not to feel panic at those last words, but she was a failure at that, too. There was no escaping the fear, but at least Lauren had talked her out of an outright breakdown. All Veronica had to do was pick already familiar topics and she could fake her way through this just as she’d faked her way through everything else.
Tonight was going to be fine.
IT WAS A BAD start to a new job.
As a male librarian, Gabe knew the drill. He’d be a novelty at first, but that would wear off really quickly, and then his job was to work hard and not be an asshole. The biggest mistake he could make was to walk into an established library and announce that he’d arrived to save the place.
Unfortunately, his new boss had already done that for him. Not only had she sprung Gabe on his new coworkers as a surprise, but she’d announced right away that he’d been hired to shake things up and bring the small library into the twenty-first century.
Not ideal, but Gabe had smiled his way through the first day and done his best not to step on any toes. It had been immediately clear that Lauren Foster was the woman the other librarians looked to for guidance. Jean-Marie might have been the boss, but Lauren was the leader, so Gabe had deferred to her. When she’d asked him about his plans for ebook lending, he’d held his opinions and instead asked about the library’s experience with ebooks so far. He had only a year here, but that didn’t mean he could jump in and start tearing things apart as if nobody else’s work meant anything.
A year. He’d come to Jackson to live his dream life for one year, and he’d planned on spending every possible moment outside, but that wasn’t in the cards