He lifted T.J. into the water, then lowered himself in, at the tap end. “Can you wash yourself, or do you want me to do it?” he asked.
“I can do it.” T.J. picked up the bar of soap.
“That’s my big boy.” Ray handed him a washcloth, then leaned back as far as he could and closed his eyes. The hot water felt good. Even the bubbles were nice, fragrant and soft.
“Why were you away so long?”
T.J.’s question brought Ray upright again. “What did your mother tell you?” he asked.
“She said you went away to fight.”
He nodded. “I’m a soldier. My job is to fight our enemies.” He tried to reduce the concept to something a three-year-old could understand. “The bad guys.”
“Are you going to leave again?”
He could hear the fear behind the question. This was probably the kind of situation where the wrong answer put the kid in therapy for years as an adult. He shifted position, sloshing water over the side of the tub. “I don’t want to,” he said. “But I might have to.” He wouldn’t lie to the boy, though lying would certainly make things easier. He bent forward, looking T.J. in the eye. “My job is to go where I’m told to go.” He put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He felt so small and slight. “But I just got home. If I have to leave, it won’t be for a long time. And maybe I won’t have to go at all. I hope not. Now turn your head and let me make sure your ears are clean.”
T.J. ducked his head and allowed Ray to inspect his ears. The bubbles were beginning to dissipate, leaving the water cloudy. T.J. giggled. “You have a wee wee, too,” he said.
Ray looked and saw the boy was pointing to his penis. He grinned. “Yeah. And it’s called a penis.” Might as well give the kid the proper words for things.
“Pea-ness.” T.J. tried out the word. He looked up at Ray. “Mama doesn’t have one.”
“No. Women are made different.” He had a sudden image of Chrissie standing in the kitchen, the soft curve of her breast brushing his arm as she reached for the salt.
She’d thrown him for a loop when she’d said she was a widow. A soldier’s widow. She’d said she didn’t approve of what Tammy had done. Did he believe her?
She’d been so soothing and competent. Down-home. Making mac and cheese from a box seem like a gourmet meal. Her presence had calmed T.J., but it had calmed Ray, too. And made him aware of how long it had been since he’d been alone with a woman.
“Yours is getting bigger,” T.J. said, his eyes wide.
Oops. “Time for bed.” Ray stood and lifted T.J. onto the bath mat, then climbed out after him. He wrapped a towel around his waist, then dropped another over T.J.’s head.
“Hey!” Giggling, the boy swatted at the towel.
Ray knelt and they mock-wrestled, laughing. When T.J. was all dry, Ray turned him toward the bedroom. “Let’s get some pajamas on you. What story do you want me to read?”
T.J. spread his arms wide. “I love you this much!”
Ray stared down at his son, swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat. “I love you, too, son,” he said, his voice rough.
T.J. giggled again. “It’s a book. I Love You This Much. It has rabbits in it.”
“Oh. Yeah. A book.” He pulled the towel at his waist tighter. “Yeah, I’ll read it to you.” And mean the words in a way he never had before.
WHEN SHE WAS A GIRL, Rita would have laughed if anyone had told her she’d enjoy cleaning people’s teeth for a living. But she did enjoy her job. Her patients were usually nice, her boss was pleasant and her coworkers were friends. Now that Allison had returned to work after a week off, things had settled into the normal routine. Rita looked forward to showing up for work each morning, plus the job helped fill the hours while she waited for Paul’s return.
“Good to have you back, Allison,” Rita said as she collected the file for her first patient of the day.
“It’s good to be back,” Allison said. “Not that I didn’t love being home with Dan, but it’s nice to get into a normal routine, you know?”
Rita nodded. Normal was something they all wished for.
“We’ve got a full schedule today,” Chrissie said, leaning over Allison to check the appointment book. “Let’s try not to get behind.”
“Tell that to the dentist,” Rita said. “I’m always on time.” She nudged Chrissie with her elbow. “So what’s new with you and your hunky neighbor?”
Allison swiveled her chair to face them, eyes wide. “You have a hunky neighbor?” she asked. “What did I miss while I was away?”
“Nothing,” Chrissie said. “My neighbor is in the same company as Dan so he just came home. That’s all.”
“Oh my gosh.” Allison put a hand to her mouth. “Do you mean Captain Hughes?”
Chrissie nodded. “You know him?”
“Sort of. Dan and I gave him a ride home from the reunion ceremony. I thought his house looked familiar, but I was so excited about having Dan home I didn’t pay that much attention.”
“Chrissie had dinner with him,” Rita said.
“I made mac and cheese for him and his little boy.” She glanced at Allison. “His wife walked out and the little boy was crying and I helped calm him down. I haven’t heard anything from him since.”
“I figured something had happened, for him not to have anyone to meet him at the reunion ceremony,” Allison said. “Maybe you should go over and see how he’s doing. You could say you were worried about his kid.”
“No!” Chrissie protested. “Besides, technically he’s still married. And I’m not interested anyway.”
“Liar,” Rita said as she opened the door for her patient, George Freeman.
She was finishing up the X-rays of Mr. Freeman’s teeth when Chrissie poked her head around the partition. “There’s a telephone call for you.”
“Tell them I’ll call them back.”
“No, you need to come to the phone now.”
Something in Chrissie’s voice made Rita go still. Her heart pounded and she struggled to breathe, and her vision went fuzzy at the edges. Oh, dear God, no!
“Paul’s all right,” Chrissie said. She grabbed Rita’s arm. “He’s okay. He’s the one on the phone.”
She nodded and allowed Chrissie to lead her to the office. She picked up the phone and punched the line button. “Hello?”
“Rita, it’s me, Paul.”
As if she wouldn’t recognize his voice. He never called except for rare special occasions and holidays. And then she could almost feel his excitement through the phone lines. Now he sounded different. Distant. “What is it?” she asked. “Is everything okay?”
“No.” He coughed. “Jeremy’s gone. He was killed in a firefight near Kirkut.”
“Jeremy?” Rita blinked. “Your brother?” Jeremy was in the Marines. The brothers were always giving each other a hard time about which branch of the service was the best. “That’s horrible.”
“Yeah.” He coughed again. “They’re giving me leave for his funeral. Will you meet me up there?”
Up there was the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota, where they had both grown up. “Of course I will.”
“I