‘Can you swim?’ Yang asked suddenly.
‘No.’
He looked thoughtful. ‘Oh.’
She stared at him across the sleeping berth. He seemed a bit disappointed, crestfallen even.
‘You were thinking of throwing me overboard!’ she accused.
‘Of course not.’
‘If I could swim safely to shore, then you would be absolved of all guilt.’
He made a face as he inspected his nails, but gave no answer.
‘You’re a scoundrel,’ she huffed.
He nodded gravely. ‘I know. You should leave me. Preferably at the next port.’
Jin-mei wanted very much to have something to throw at him. ‘I’m curious as well,’ she replied, in not nearly as pleasant of a tone. ‘You don’t seem very upset at having your life threatened. Did you and my father conspire to fake your death? Was our marriage a ruse from the beginning?’
Yang frowned. ‘I was quite convinced we were married.’ He smoothed a hand over the front of his robe. ‘I remember looking forward eagerly to our wedding night until your father tried to kill me.’
She let out a shaky breath. It was all her father’s doing then. She hadn’t been absolutely certain of it until now. Father had hosted the wedding to fool her as well as Yang. He was not a diligent and honest public servant, nor was he the caring and doting father she’d assumed he was.
‘Jin-mei, why are you here?’ Yang asked, watching her with a serious expression.
‘You’re my husband,’ she replied, her tone flat. ‘I go where you go.’
‘It’s not that simple.’
She looked away from him, towards the wall. ‘What if you had been taught from birth that honesty and truth were more important than air and water? What if you had been told there was no sacrifice too great to make for the pursuit of justice? And then one day you found out everything was a lie. Could you stay and pretend that you didn’t know?’
With a shuddering breath, she tried to compose herself as the tears threatened to fall. Maybe some small part of her needed to remember what it had been like to be that trusting. To be that innocent. That warm and sheltered place could still exist in her heart, but only if she left it behind. Intact.
‘We were both his puppets,’ Bao Yang said soberly.
But the difference was she was his daughter. She could never go back and could never see her father again. Because the moment he opened his mouth, she would now know his words meant nothing and what was left of her fragile world would completely shatter.
‘This isn’t simple,’ she echoed. ‘This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made.’
For a long moment, he said nothing. She thought that he might have moved closer to her. She could feel heat rising up the back of her neck at the thought of the two of them being alone together.
‘The world of rivers and lakes is a dangerous place,’ he warned.
‘I’ve made my decision,’ Jin-mei said stubbornly, her voice thick with emotion. It hurt to see the world in this harsh new light. ‘So rivers and lakes are what it will be from now on.’
Pulling a spare robe out from her pack, she rolled it to create a pillow and lay down. The lurch of the water kept her from truly resting, and Yang was silent for a long time as he watched her.
‘I am very exhausted myself,’ he said finally, stretching out on his berth.
‘You’re staying here?’
He turned just enough to regard her with one eye. ‘Of course I am. You’re my wife and we’re among dangerous individuals.’
She rolled on to her back, staring up at the ceiling while her heart thudded inside her chest. They were only husband and wife in name, and only barely that. Their marriage had not been consummated.
Not too long ago, she had dreamt about being wed to this dashing and successful associate of her father’s. The handsome young man with the laughing eyes and the crooked nose. It might very well have been a mistake to follow him, but where else was she to go? A woman belonged to her father first and then her husband. But more importantly, she couldn’t stay knowing what she knew about her father. She’d rather risk the danger of bandits and thieves than bite her tongue and pretend that she was still ignorant.
This is an adventure, Jin-mei told herself firmly. One that she hoped she wouldn’t regret.
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