She broke her pace to halt before the mirror above the dresser. “If there is one thing he will see it is that I am no longer an insecure twenty-two-year-old,” she promised in a huff. She gripped the edge of the dresser with both hands to calm her rapid breathing. Although his comments infuriated her, she was more angered by the fact that she couldn’t deny the power of his mere presence.
The years had been good to Darius. His handsome features were matured by a close-cut beard. He looked like he had put on some weight, in all of the right places, filling out his tall, athletic build.
Deep inside a little voice scolded her for letting go of the best thing that ever happened to her, but a louder voice told her it was for the better. After all, it was her decision to split up. The night of her big decision was as vivid as if it were yesterday.
Alexa had just received the job offer from Marks-St. Claire, a magazine publishing company located in Denver. Darius did not want to see her go, which he had expressed several times. The last time the discussion came up, the two were at home preparing dinner together.
“There are plenty of jobs in Detroit, babe,” Darius pointed out as he stirred the red sauce in the pot on the stove. “I know you’ve applied for some of them. Just give it time. Somebody will reply.”
“I can’t stay here forever, Darius. I need to know what it feels like to have a place of my own. I want to create my own bills and pay them. Marks-St. Claire is offering me a good salary with great benefits and stock options. Tell me, how can I say no to that?”
“With your talents, babe, I know you can find something just as good here. Why don’t you wait it out?” he tried coaxing, but it only made her increasingly frustrated.
“I can’t keep depending on you,” she sighed. Darius had been paying her bills after her work study job ended following graduation. “I have to make my own way.”
“I like taking care of you,” he assured her, wrapping her in his embrace and kissing the tip of her nose.
A wave of anxiety gripped her as her mother’s voice came to mind. Five years down the line, she didn’t want to be saddled with kids she wasn’t ready for. Nor did she want a man to feel like he was keeping her. As her mother said, her education was the ticket to a self-sufficient lifestyle. Marks-St. Claire was offering her that life. She wasn’t sure she wanted to chance a relationship with Darius that could be potentially wrong for them. If they were meant to be then they would come together again, she told herself countless times.
The decision to accept the position hung over her head like a dark cloud. To make matters worse, Darius had hinted around at marriage to sweeten the deal.
As a last attempt to keep her in Detroit, Darius had proposed to her after a night filled with passionate lovemaking. Lying in his protective arms, Alexa was glad that it was dark for it hid her tears. Darius felt the sobs racking throughout her body and had mistaken her tears of sorrow for tears of joy. While Darius slept with a contented smile on his face, Alexa placed his ring on the nightstand and slipped out of his embrace and essentially his life.
It seemed as though the taxi driver was an accomplice to her escape that morning as they sped down the expressway. She turned her tear-streaked face from the window to the driver with a questioning look. Was this supposed to happen? There was hardly any traffic about and he was driving like his life depended on getting to their destination.
It was when she noticed his slightly bobbing head and heard the reggae beat popping through an old transistor radio perched on the dashboard that she realized he was in his own world. She sank back in her seat and closed her eyes with Darius’s face haunting her silent reverie. How could she make him understand that it was the right thing for both of them? She loved him too much to mess up his life, but leaving was something she had to do. She knew that if she didn’t leave now, she never would. Her mother’s words rang through her mind. “Don’t tie yourself down before you’ve experienced life.”
For many years, her mother had preached that sermon to Alexa and her brother. However, the words were especially meant for her; she didn’t want her daughter to make the same mistakes as she did.
Alexa’s parents were married the summer following graduation from high school believing that it was the only thing to do because they were in love and were expecting their first child. After fifteen years of marriage, the two grew up and eventually grew apart.
Alexa made it a practice to never talk much about her family, so telling Darius how much her mother’s words impacted her decision never presented itself. Rather then reveal the dysfunction in her family, Alexa took the low road, journeying to a future she embraced and praying that fate would shine favor on her. However, when her eyes met Darius’s upon entering the room, there were no signs of fate being kind as animosity filled the air.
She sat on the edge of the bed.” I don’t know why I thought he would behave any other way,” she murmured to herself. “But nine years is a long time to hold a grudge.”
She was interrupted by a soft knock.
“Come in,” she called. She knew it was Maya coming to save the day.
She was right when her friend poked her head in. “Are you okay?”
Alexa nodded, and then laughed halfheartedly. “As okay as I can be.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do anything, Maya,” Alexa replied. She noticed that her friend’s way of taking on other people’s problems had not diminished over the years.
“I should have left things alone.”
“Well, apparently he has some place to stay, so I wouldn’t worry about it,” Alexa replied. “Besides, you have other things to worry about.”
Alexa hoped she sounded convincing because she didn’t want Maya to worry about her or Darius.
Chapter 3
Early the next morning, Alexa was shaken awake by a very distraught Maya. She knew that something was wrong judging by the anxiety in Maya’s tone and the urgency in her actions. Alexa immediately sprang up into a seated position, her eyes wide with wonder and her heart hammering in her chest.
“Wh-what’s wrong, Maya?” she asked, clutching the front of her gown in terror.
Maya sank into a nearby chair and covered her eyes with her hands. “It’s Bry’s mother. She had a diabetic episode last night and they had to rush her to the hospital.”
“Oh, my Lord,” Alexa moaned. “Is she okay?”
Maya shrugged. “We haven’t heard anything as of yet and Bryant and I need to go to the hospital. I don’t know if I can handle this right now.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Alexa asked.
“Do you mind watching the girls?” Maya asked as she began to remove the scarf from her head, allowing the silky curls to fall in disarray around her face.
“Of course I don’t mind!” Alexa replied. “I just pray that Bryant’s mom is okay. How is he holding up?”
“To be expected. He’s upset because he knew how excited his mother was about the wedding. We believe that in the excitement of it all, she may have forgotten to take her insulin.”
Alexa paused. She understood how easy it was to forget important details when your mind is focused on other things. Just the other day, she’d left her purse at home while on her way to work. Since the wedding announcement, she frequently found herself so nervous awaiting her confrontation with Darius that she’d forget the simplest task.
“By the way,” Maya