Taking Back Mary Ellen Black. Lisa Childs

you.”

      “They did?” His flush deepened, and I remembered that middle age was prime time for a heart attack, too.

      “You okay, Eddie?”

      “There’s a lot going on right now, Mary Ellen. Now’s not a good time—”

      My hand clenched into a fist, but before I could swing, I took a deep breath, exhaled, closed my eyes. I had to keep it together. For the girls. “Just a few minutes, Eddie. Talk to them. Ask them about school, gymnastics…show some interest in them, okay? Fake it!”

      He didn’t try to lie to me for once; he didn’t claim to have any interest in them now, as he was obviously preoccupied with something else. And I knew what a mistake I’d made. Without seeing him, they could weave the fantasy that he might actually care about them, but seeing him, seeing the blank, bored expression on his weaselly face, they would know the truth. Even Shelby who was usually so blissfully oblivious…

      As he walked up to the table where the hostess was serving them chocolate milk, the girls didn’t meet him with bright smiles. And he didn’t wrap his arms around them, torn apart from missing them. I missed them while they were at school. He hadn’t seen them in several weeks and displayed no joy in seeing them now. Instead, he looked embarrassed, face flushed, and for a man who usually oozed charm, he didn’t look as if he had a clue what to say to them.

      “I’m sorry…”

      I turned at the meek voice near my shoulder as I held back from the table. “What?”

      “I’m sorry…about…”

      I waved a hand at the little blonde’s anxiety. “I said it was okay. Really.” And for me, it would be since I was free of Eddie. But it wouldn’t be for her, not unless she ran like hell. I thought about warning her, but I wasn’t that benevolent. After all, she had known he was a married man even if he’d forgotten.

      “But you were probably expecting…”

      I followed her gaze to the table where Eddie stood above the girls, and they carried on a brief, stilted conversation. My heart ached for the disappointment on their little faces. They wanted what I had with my father; that’s what had inspired last night’s questions. But Eddie would never satisfy their longing. He would never be half the man my father was. “What? A big family reunion?” I shook my head. “No, I wasn’t.” Too much had changed over the last couple of years.

      “Eddie feels bad, really he does.” God, she wasn’t just young; she was stupid, too. “About losing the house and not having any money. It’s killing him that he can’t support them. He feels so guilty that he can’t stand to see them.” Her voice cracked. “There really isn’t any money, you know…”

      A commotion drew my attention away from the stammering blonde to the foyer. Two broad-shouldered guys strode in, knocking aside some of the ferns I’d potted in brass urns. I winced as dirt scattered across the thick burgundy carpet. Eddie backed away from the table, turning toward the hall to his office without even a goodbye to his daughters.

      “Eddie!” the guys shouted and stopped his retreat.

      The blonde clutched my arm. “Oh, God!”

      I refrained from shaking her off and peered closer at the new customers. “Dougie?”

      The guy with the most muscles and least neck turned toward me, staring intently from beneath a bushy unibrow. “Mary Ellen? Mary Ellen Black?”

      “Dougie. I haven’t seen you in years.” Not since high school. Dougie hadn’t graduated with Jenna and me, though. Instead, he’d been doing time for some offense or other.

      “Great to see you. You’re looking great.” From the appreciative gleam in his eyes, I figured he meant it.

      “So you got married?” he asked.

      I nodded. “I’m divorced now. There’re my girls—” I gestured toward where the girls sat, wide-eyed at all the goings-on. Plates of pancakes growing cold in front of them.

      “Cute kids,” he murmured.

      Even a hoodlum’s compliments swelled my mother’s pride. “Yeah, they are.”

      “I’ve got a couple of boys,” he said. “I married Sue. Remember Sue?”

      There had been about ten girls named Sue in every class I’d attended, but I nodded. “Give her my best.”

      “Mary Ellen!” Eddie’s voice rose with impatience. Not that he seemed particularly eager to talk to his visitors, but I guess he didn’t want me talking to them, either.

      “I’m sorry. You all have business. The girls and I will leave now. Say goodbye to Daddy.”

      I hustled them out the door, not worrying about paying the bill or leaving a tip. Except I did stop near the ’ho. “You can do better,” I told her. That was probably the best tip she’d ever gotten, no matter how long she’d been waitressing.

      The girls and I walked past a Lincoln Navigator parked too close to the doors, and headed toward the Bonneville.

      “I didn’t like the food there,” Amber said. “Can we get something to eat at the mall?”

      As they climbed into the back seat, I fought the urge to drag them into my arms for reassuring hugs. “Sure we can. Shoe shopping always makes me hungry.” And so I’d blow the rest of my poker winnings and leftover VFW tips.

      “I don’t want to eat here anymore,” Shelby declared, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

      “That’s up to you two. Whatever you want.” And it was. Eddie hadn’t requested any scheduled visitation.

      “I used to want to go home,” Amber admitted. “Back to our old house. Back to my old school, too. But there’re some neat people at the new one. They don’t care what you wear or where you live…” Not like the wannabe high-class neighborhood where we’d lived. “Some don’t even speak English,” Amber said, probably impressed someone talked less than she did; with her shyness, she usually spoke very little.

      Shelby nodded. “Yeah, it’s okay.” And maybe it was. But they deserved more. And somehow I had to get it for them…for all of us.