When all three answered in the affirmative, his jaw dropped—until the other two began to laugh and he realized he’d been the brunt of their inside joke.
“No way,” Julie announced boldly. “This one is all mine.” And with that, she took Ryan’s arm and urged him to walk away with her.
He was unsure how to best respond until she abruptly released her hold and apologized. “Sorry. I’m not usually so pushy. My sister knows how to get my goat, but Hannah doesn’t often help her.”
“It must be nice to be so close.”
“Yes. You don’t have siblings?”
Although he tried to mask his feelings, there was apparently enough poignancy in his expression to cause her smile to fade when he said, “No. Not anymore.”
She didn’t ask further questions, nor did she offer unasked-for advice. She simply slipped her hand through the crook of his elbow again and tightened her grip.
If Ryan had been asked to interpret her actions at that moment, he probably would have said she was offering moral support. That was certainly the impression he was getting. And, like it or not, her presence was helping him handle the guilt and sorrow he still carried in regard to losing his big brother, Kirk.
Pushing aside those disturbing memories with Herculean effort, Ryan placed his other hand over Julie’s and kept walking. If he could have done so without attracting undue attention, he would have kept her by his side indefinitely.
There was something very special about Julie Shaw. Something he could not explain. Something intrinsic that emanated from her as if she were the personification of acceptance. And of love.
Caught unaware by that random thought, Ryan almost pulled away from her. Yet, he didn’t. And the why and wherefore of that choice troubled him deeply.
* * *
Julie yearned to urge Ryan to confide in her more. To let her help heal his obvious emotional pain. If he would tell her about his problems, she might know better how to pray for him.
“As if God needs my input,” she muttered as she left him checking his bronc-riding gear for his next event and headed back to rejoin Faith and Hannah. True, scripture urged praying without ceasing, yet she also knew there were references to God knowing what His children needed before they even asked. In the case of that spiritual truth, and others, Julie didn’t mind admitting she was confused.
Besides, she thought, climbing back aboard the truck bed with her friends and adjusting her straw Western hat, Ryan had made it clear that he did not share her Christian beliefs. That was even sadder than the way he was apparently mishandling his grief. Life without faith had to be much harder, losses more difficult to accept.
It was always sad when a person suffered. It was doubly devastating to see someone trying to cope without the Savior to lean on. Temporal friends could offer only so much comfort. Jesus would be there to help no matter what the circumstances, but only if He was invited.
This could be a pride problem, she reasoned, particularly in the case of a man like Ryan Travers. He was used to doing things his way, relying on his own strength. And, unfortunately, it looked as if he had failed to overcome whatever trauma had led to his no longer having any siblings. Oh, he probably thought he’d gotten over the loss, but he hadn’t. Not even close. Was that what drove him to stay on the road most of the year? Julie wondered. Perhaps. And perhaps he didn’t even realize why he was so restless.
Or maybe all this is a figment of my imagination because I don’t want to admit he’s happy traveling all the time, she countered. Just because she was a homebody and content to have deep, strong roots didn’t mean that a person who preferred to move around had to be unhappy.
She sighed and released her angst. It didn’t matter why Ryan competed all over the country. He was who and what he wanted to be, regardless of his motivation.
Meaning they were totally incompatible, she concluded in spite of mental arguments to the contrary. Yes, he was appealing. And yes, she really liked him. But getting too attached to him would be a big, big mistake. One she was determined not to make.
Chapter Four
Ryan had not intended to hang around behind the scenes when the mutton busting was introduced as part of the afternoon’s entertainment. He simply had little else to occupy him while the bareback horses were removed and saddle broncs loaded into the holding pens directly behind the chutes. Stock contractors had their own wranglers and treated those horses better than a lot of folks treated their kin, meaning they didn’t want them touched by anybody else.
He got himself a bottle of cold water and drank it as he ambled over to the place where a passel of youngsters was gathered. A twenty-something man he recognized from the mayor’s entourage was instructing the kids about safety, so Ryan figured he was probably one of Julie’s brothers.
Some of the little boys and girls looked overconfident, while others seemed scared to death. It was those children who tugged at Ryan’s heart and caused him to edge closer.
He spotted one boy who seemed far too small and timid to be competing, and crouched down to speak with him. “Hi, there. Where’s your mama? Does she know you’re planning to try to ride a sheep?”
Although his lower lip was trembling, the little boy stuck out his chin and ignored the question.
“A grown-up has to fill out paperwork for you, buddy. You can’t enter without your mama or daddy being here.”
Tears welled in the child’s eyes as he looked around. “Mama’s here.”
“Where?”
“I—I lost her.”
Straightening, Ryan offered his hand. “Okay. Why don’t you come with me and I’ll introduce you to the lady who owns the sheep while we wait around for your mother to come looking for you. Then, in a few years when you’re older, maybe you’ll be all ready to ride like the bigger kids.”
“Uh-uh. Can’t go with strangers. Mama said.”
“And your mama is absolutely right,” Ryan assured him. “But since she’s bound to look for you where she saw you last, I think it would be okay to hang around and talk to the sheep lady for a bit. Her name is Julie. See? She’s right over there. The pretty one with the dark red hair and the straw Stetson.”
Smiling, he followed the little boy’s tentative steps as they skirted the group of excited children and approached Julie. The moment she looked up, he tipped his hat and eyed the boy. “My friend and I were wondering if we could maybe give you a hand. He wants to ride, but his mama got herself lost, so she isn’t here to sign for him. Would you mind if he petted your sheep?”
The grin Julie returned rested on him first, widened, then switched to settle on the uneasy child. “Of course not. They’re pretty tame, particularly around me. I’m afraid I’ve made pets of them.”
“Hey, as long as you’re raising them for their wool, no problem, right?” Ryan offered.
“Right.” Julie held out an arm. “Would you like to come in here with me or do you want to stay outside with your cowboy friend?”
The boy seemed to be considering carefully before he reached for Ryan’s hand and grasped it firmly. “Stay here.” His upturned face searched Ryan’s. “Okay, mister?”
“Fine with me.”
Ryan swallowed past a lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure what touched him more, the boy’s trust or the gentle expression on Julie’s face when she looked at them standing there together. Here he was, a tough-as-nails guy who faced fifteen-hundred-pound-plus belligerent farm animals, and he’d been reduced almost to tears by a small boy and a pretty woman. If his old friends