“I don’t know,” he said.
“Honestly? You must have some clue,” she said. She wasn’t going to let him get away with lying to her. Not now. He’d broken her heart. That wasn’t right.
“No. That’s not true. I left because you tempted me to stay,” he said. “And I had a job to do. And in the end the job won.”
Brutal.
But what else had she expected? That was another little nugget for her to tuck away and make sure she never let this man’s charm win her over again.
“Why am I here now? Are you on leave again and thought we could hook up?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m on leave, and as you pointed out I owe you some explanations.”
She leaned back in her chair and took in the scene. The table had been set up with a pretty white damask tablecloth. With the setting sun and private beach, he’d gotten the romance of this moment perfect. But she no longer believed that Jay was the right man for this kind of special moment.
“I’m not sure I’m following you—you came back to explain?”
“No. I came back to see if you would listen to me. Maybe give me a second chance.”
“At what?”
He arched one eyebrow at her. “At us.”
She shook her head. “You want to get married again?”
He shrugged. And her heart fell. He wasn’t here for her. He was here to bring closure to his past. And if she was honest with herself, she’d already let Jay use her enough for this lifetime.
“No thanks.”
She honestly believed that Jay was a warrior. A man more at home with his unit on a mission. Having been a soldier his entire adult life he had no idea how to share himself with others.
“I asked around, you’re still single.”
“I own my own business, which takes up a lot of my time,” she said, not sure how she felt about him asking about her.
“Granted.”
“What do you want me to say, Jay?”
“That you’ll give us a second chance.”
“But you’re making no promises? I’m not an idiot,” she said.
“I know that. Neither am I. And I’ll tell you this, I’ve never been able to forget you, Aly. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you. I know I hurt you and don’t really deserve a second chance, but I’m asking you to give me one.”
He was sincere; she could read that easily enough in his eyes. But she didn’t want to trust him again. For some reason she’d fallen for him—the quiet loner with the easy charm instead of the outgoing athletic guys she usually hung out with.
“I’m sorry. But I don’t think I should be here. You enjoy the dessert and have a great life, Jay.”
She grabbed her purse and started to walk away and he followed her again, this time when he grabbed her arm he wouldn’t let her shake him off.
“No, don’t leave. I’m sorry. I’m not handling this right, but I don’t know what else to do. I need to figure out things that have nothing to do with the Corps.”
“I don’t see how that affects me,” she said. She tried not to let it bother her that he thought about her.
“I guess I want you to give me a second chance, not to leave you again but to love you.”
“I don’t think I can do that, Jay,” she said. “You broke my heart and didn’t have the guts to stay and tell me you were leaving.”
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that,” he said. “But I can show you that I’ve changed.”
“Have you?” she asked. Because so far she wasn’t seeing any big differences.
He started to nod, but then stopped. “I hope so. But I really don’t know. I’ve been on back-to-back deployments so I haven’t had a chance even to breathe since the last time I saw you.”
She tugged her arm from his grip and stood staring at him in the fading light. She could use some closure herself. Maybe then she’d be able to really move on from Jay.
For too long he’d been the reason she’d stayed single, afraid to risk herself again. He’d changed her from the girl who’d always said yes to life to someone who’d started living in the shadows. That was it, she thought as she stood staring at him in the fading twilight.
She’d given him her heart after a whirlwind courtship and gotten burned and now … now she wanted a chance to reclaim her heart and her faith in men. Because her short marriage was the reason why she was too afraid to let anyone in.
Maybe this would heal her.
“If I give you this chance, it might not work out for you,” she said. “I’m not sure I can ever trust you again.”
“I understand. It’s my mission to make you trust me,” he said.
She had to think this through. On the surface it seemed the perfect way for her to get on with her life. She had poured her heart and soul into Sweet Dreams and now the bakery was doing better than she or Staci had ever hoped it would. But what was next? They had been talking about opening a second location, but that was more work. She used work as the excuse to her family and friends as the reason why she didn’t date. Now Jay was back and until she resolved her past with him she’d never be able to move on. He was offering her a lot more than he probably realized.
“There was something powerful between us or we wouldn’t have been attracted to each other the first time.”
“We can try to get to know each other again, Jay, but I’m going to use this time to get over you.”
Jay crossed his big-muscled arms over his chest. It would help her to get over him if he’d let himself go physically in the four years since she’d last seen him. But no, he was still in top form. His thick brown hair was still military short and his eyes had a few more sun lines around them than he had before.
And he looked older, but not in a bad way. He had more experience and he wore it with an ease that she hoped she did, as well. She still wanted him. She had wished she wouldn’t.
The thought of those big arms wrapping around her and holding her made her close her eyes. She remembered the way his legs had tangled with hers and how they’d fitted together perfectly.
“Fair enough,” he said, holding up his hands. “If I can’t convince myself we deserve a second chance then how the hell am I going to convince you?”
He was asking her to trust him, though he didn’t recognize it. She had to believe she was strong enough to protect her heart this time. She had to believe that she was strong enough to resist the lust and emotions he drew effortlessly from her.
And yet, she wanted him. It had been four long years since she’d been in the same space as this man. She’d never admit it out loud, but she had sort of feared he’d die on deployment and she’d never know. That she’d spend the rest of her life wondering what had happened to him.
And though she still wasn’t sure this was the wisest course of action, she found that that one thing hadn’t changed in four years.
It was her intent that this time she’d walk away the winner. She was intrigued enough by Jay to want to stay, and having a plan made her feel that much better about it. But the truth was he was her fatal weakness and something she was determined to change.
JAY KNEW HOW FRAGILE his control over Alysse was. He had thought an apology would be enough at least to get them back to a nice place to start over. But