‘Andreas, I don’t think you heard me. I leave for England in an hour.’ She repeated her words fiercely, her eyes wide blue pools of shimmering emotion.
And suddenly he knew that, however selfish it was, he couldn’t let her go. ‘So why don’t you tear up that air ticket and stay?’
Carrie stared at him. The quiet words made her heart pitch with so much emotion that for a few seconds she couldn’t think straight, and deep down she realized she’d wanted him to say those words to her…wanted it so desperately and so unrealistically that she hadn’t even dared to voice the thought to herself.
But close on the heels of happiness there was wariness.
She remembered how he’d told her he could only offer her a casual affair—remembered how she’d waited over these last couple of days just for the telephone to ring.
If she said yes to Andreas would she be placing herself in a relationship where she came second to business? It certainly seemed so.
She tried to dismiss the fear, but the sensible side of her wouldn’t let her.
OK, he’d asked her to stay, but she was all too aware of the things that had been left unsaid. What had changed between telling her that he didn’t want a serious relationship and now?
‘Why?’ She raised clear unwavering eyes to his and he looked at her as if he couldn’t believe the question. ‘What are you thinking?’ she continued quickly. ‘In what capacity do you want me to stay?’
‘I would have thought it was obvious. I want you…Carrie…’
The words were said almost coolly…dispassionately. But there was nothing cool about the way his eyes raked over her. ‘I want you in my bed. I want to teach you all there is about making love…morning, noon and night. Is that specific enough?’
The way he had just looked at her had fired her blood…She wanted him too. But his words weren’t enough to banish the doubt churning inside her. And she realized suddenly that she had wanted him to tell her he had feelings for her and that he had started to fall in love with her. How naïve was that? she mocked herself fiercely. She really had lost all sense of reality!
Her eyes held with the darkness of his. He’d laugh if he knew what was going through her mind. She’d laugh herself only she was too deeply shocked by her own stupidity—and yet even now she felt a connection to him that was so deep that she couldn’t quite unhook herself from it.
He didn’t have time for deep emotion, she reminded herself firmly. He was too busy putting all his energies into business…playing for much higher stakes than love.
Could she really give up the good job that was waiting for her in London for this kind of uncertainty?
She took a deep breath, suddenly scared. ‘I’m sorry, Andreas…but maybe on balance it would be best if I went back to London.’ The words sounded stiff and staccato on her tongue. They weren’t the words she wanted to say…but they were the ones she had to say. She couldn’t give everything up for a man who put her second, a man moreover who liked to live dangerously where business deals were concerned—the lessons of growing up with someone like that were too deeply ingrained to ignore.
For a moment she saw surprise in his eyes. He’d expected her to just accept his terms, without any promises or even soft words. His arrogance was rather galling.
‘Unlike you I’m not a person who likes to take risks,’ she continued swiftly. ‘I’ve been offered an extremely good job in London—one that I’ve worked hard to get. Even if I just stay there for a short time I need to take it.’ She pulled the silk of her robe even closer around her slender body in an almost instinctively protective gesture as his eyes seemed to darken to deepest midnight. ‘And maybe we need some space to think about things.’ She added the words huskily, unable to bear the thought of completely closing the door on them. ‘You’re consumed with this business deal—who knows how we will feel about each other in another, say…six months’ time?’
‘You are quite a tease, aren’t you, Carrie?’ he cut across her suddenly, his eyes narrowing as rage started to simmer inside him. ‘What you’re really saying is that you want to keep your options open.’
‘That’s not what I’m saying at all!’ Her skin flared with colour. ‘Come on, Andreas. You are in no position to throw that kind of accusation at me! You are totally focused on this deal of yours. You said yourself you don’t want a relationship; you just want to take me to bed because…’ Her voice trailed away in sudden embarrassment.
‘Because you are a virgin.’ He finished the sentence for her and watched as her skin caught fire. ‘And you’re right, I do prize the fact that you are a virgin.’ He put a hand under her chin, tilting it so that he could look at her. ‘And I’ve respected you for it.’
Their eyes held and silence seemed to simmer between them.
‘But then you know that, don’t you, Carrie? And you’ve used it to your advantage.’
‘I don’t know what you mean!’
‘Well, let me spell it out. If you are waiting for me to propose marriage, it’s not going to happen. I can’t offer you that kind of commitment—it’s not who I am.’
The cold, arrogant comment made her eyes widen with fury and gave her the strength to pull away from him. ‘Well, it’s a good job, because it’s not who I am either. I’d have turned you down flat.’ She gave a shaky incredulous laugh. ‘I don’t want a marriage proposal from you! I’m an intelligent woman, not a naïve fool. And we hardly know each other, for heaven’s sake.’
‘Good, we are both of the same mind, then. And I know very well that you are an intelligent woman, Carrie.’ His voice was quiet, his gaze flicking over her, noting the rise and fall of her chest, the way she moistened her lips as his eyes touched them.
‘I also know that you want me…’
The husky, confident words made her senses swirl. He was right she did.
There was still a part of her that wanted to say, Yes, OK, let’s give this a whirl, but for what? She certainly didn’t want a marriage proposal from him, but she did need more from him emotionally than he seemed prepared to give.
She hated his cold arrogance—hated the way he could look at her like that, tell her he just wanted her for his bed, and still turn her on.
If she stayed, she could end up as a kept woman totally dependent on his every whim! She wouldn’t even be able to get a decent job because she didn’t speak Greek.
And then he could simply discard her for his next conquest when he got bored and she would be left without any fallback position.
She took a deep breath.
‘The timing isn’t right for us, Andreas, and we both know it.’
The fact that she could look at him with such emotion in her eyes, such warm need, and yet still turn him down enraged him; it also reminded him forcibly of things he didn’t want to remember. Such as how he had no right asking her to fulfil his needs when he could never meet hers.
He’d made a mistake coming here. Asking her to stay had been crazy and he’d known that all along. Even if he just made her his mistress he would be in too deep—before he knew it they would be back at this crossroads and the relationship would have to end. Better that it was done now. He should have done it days ago, he told himself angrily, for her sake as well as his. He needed to burn all bridges and forget her.
‘And when would you deem the time to be right, Carrie? When my business deal has paid off? Are you planning to save your virginity for the highest bidder?’
‘I can’t believe you’ve just said that!’
He