Chapter Three
Every morning since she’d moved back to the farm, Georgiana woke bright and early, then made her way out to the barn to spend time talking to Fallon and to God. Today was no different, except the need for quiet time was even more intense after last night’s trip to the square.
Even though she hadn’t lived here in years, it hadn’t taken Georgiana long at all to remember everything, and consequently, she could easily make her way to the barn without need of her white cane. This was familiar. This was home.
As always, Fallon awaited her arrival, nickering softly when Georgiana neared her stall.
God, be with me today. You know how much I need your help. Keep me strong, Lord.
She’d actually enjoyed the majority of her time at the square last night, shopping with her mother, Abi and Mandy. For a while there, she felt normal again.
Georgiana let the comfort of the barn envelop her as she tenderly stroked the smooth lines of Fallon’s cheek and jaw. Fallon loved to be touched like this; that hadn’t changed over the years, and Georgiana enjoyed the smoothness of her pelt against her palm. Being with Fallon reminded her of the past, the good memories rather than the bad, and she relished these mornings with her gentle friend.
Soft footsteps approached and the crisp scent of coffee mixed with the usual scents of hay, leather and horse filling the barn.
“Georgiana, it’s me,” her mother said softly.
She smiled. “I know, Mom.”
“Thought you might want some coffee,” she said, and eased the mug handle into Georgiana’s palm.
“Thanks.” Georgiana sipped the coffee, exactly the way she liked it, two spoons of sugar and a dollop of French vanilla cream. “Delicious.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
Georgiana felt her mother’s arm reach past her to stroke Fallon. Fallon’s warmth shifted too, eager to accept a bit of loving from both women.
“Where’s Abi?”
“She wanted to eat her oatmeal and drink her coffee milk at the hearth while she watches Little Bear.”
“Right,” Georgiana said, knowing her daughter’s morning routine. The “coffee milk” portion had been added after they came to the farm. When Georgiana had been Abi’s age, that’d been her morning treat as well, a mug of mostly milk and a little bit of coffee and sugar that made her feel like a big girl. She remembered the special sensation associated with getting that mug from her mom each morning and was glad her daughter could experience the same thing.
“Dora comes on right after Little Bear, and she’ll want to watch that too,” Eden said.
Georgiana knew this, of course, but she also knew why her mother reminded her, so she would realize that they had a full hour to themselves to talk. She swallowed another sip of hot coffee, let the richness of it warm her stomach and calm her fears of asking her mother’s opinion. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I’m...I’m nervous about Landon coming over. Being around people I knew before, being around him—” she struggled for the right words “—it makes me—uncomfortable.”
She heard her mother take another sip of coffee, a nearly silent sound but one Georgiana easily recognized. Eden was undoubtedly taking a moment to think, to make sure she said exactly the right thing, the way she always did. Then she gently pushed Georgiana’s hair back from her shoulder and said, “Life would be rather boring if everything were always comfortable.”
Georgiana’s mouth quirked to the side. “Well, it certainly isn’t comfortable now, is it?”
“No, honey, it isn’t.” Eden continued running her palm down Georgiana’s hair in much the same way she did when Georgiana had been Abi’s age. She wanted to soothe Georgiana’s fears, put her at ease. But Georgiana wasn’t sure that was possible.
“Mom, I probably shouldn’t have told you what happened in the church that day. Nothing will change the fact that I ran away and had the wreck.” She touched Fallon again. “And I’m sure Landon doesn’t think I told anyone. He probably wouldn’t have wanted me to tell anyone.”
“Oh, sweetie, you know that isn’t true. Landon loved you, and he came to the church to tell you. The only reason he didn’t tell people himself is because you chose to still marry Pete. Even though your heart was thinking about someone else.”
“Mom, I loved Pete. I did.”
“Honey, I believe you. But there are different kinds of love. There’s the kind of love that’s, well, borderline infatuation. A little stronger than that, but still primarily fueled by the physical attraction you have for one another. And then there’s the kind of love that lasts, the kind of love that can endure the toughest of storms. Physical attraction as well, of course, but deeper. Much deeper.” She paused, then added, “Pete couldn’t handle the storms, Georgiana. That isn’t your fault, it’s his.”
“I couldn’t be the kind of wife he wanted anymore.” Georgiana’s heart ached with the admission. “He’s a partner in his firm. He has to make a statement to their clients and to the public in general. How was I supposed to blend with those country-club folks when I couldn’t see? I had no idea what they were wearing, no idea where they were going. Plus I’d just had Abi and wanted to be with my baby.”
“Honey, you don’t need to explain to me. If that boy would have been a real husband, he’d have built you up at your lowest point instead of kicking you down. And don’t you go defending him. I’ll always care about him because he’s Abi’s daddy, but I don’t think a thing of him for the way he treated my little girl.”
“Mom, please. What guy would have stayed?”
Eden didn’t miss a beat. “I can think of one.”
“You don’t know that. And I wouldn’t want anyone to stay with me out of pity.”
“Georgiana, Pete has brainwashed you into thinking no one would want you now. I saw the way Landon looked at you last night, and there wasn’t an ounce of pity to it. Longing maybe, but not pity.”
A tiny trickle of hope worked its way into Georgiana’s heart, but then just as quickly, she heard Pete’s words.
“Good Lord, Georgiana. Look at you. Your hair looks like a troll doll and your clothes look like something from thrift-store central. I’m taking you to mingle with my colleagues. I can’t take a wife that looks like that!” The sounds of slamming doors and several derogatory names Georgiana didn’t want to remember, then “Just forget it. I don’t want you there anyway. Charity, you can go home. We won’t need a babysitter tonight.” Then, to Georgiana, “You can still handle taking care of our daughter, can’t you?” Another slamming door. And another miserable night by herself with Abi as her only comfort.
“Mom, Landon wouldn’t want me now.”
“I’m not going to listen to that kind of talk. A moment ago, you were starting to believe what I was saying. That’s what you need to concentrate on, not everything that you heard from Pete. I mean that.”
“I don’t even know if Landon has someone in his life now. That is a possibility, you know. He could have married, had children...”
“Nope, and nope. He never married and didn’t have kids. You forget I see John at church and he watches the place for me anytime I’m gone.”
“You did not ask him if Landon had married.”
“Dear, Claremont is a small town. I ask if everyone has married. And who has had kids. And who has passed on. Actually, half the time you don’t even have to ask. It’s right there every Sunday in the church bulletin.”