‘It’s no trouble,’ she assured him quietly. She turned away to plug in the kettle, afraid that he would see that she was upset. ‘You go and take that shower. I’ll leave the tracksuit outside the bathroom door for you.’
She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard him leaving the room. Maybe it was silly but Ben disturbed her. She didn’t know why, she just knew that he did. He made her feel things that she hadn’t expected to feel and she wasn’t sure how to deal with them.
Anna closed her mind to that thought, afraid of where it might lead to. She made the coffee then left it in the cafetière to brew and went to find the tracksuit for him. She put it on the floor outside the bathroom door then went back to her bedroom. Although the jacket had saved her from getting completely soaked through, her jeans were sodden and she needed to change them.
She stripped them off and draped them over the back of a chair to dry then picked up a brush to tidy her hair. It was months since she’d had it cut and it reached way past her shoulders now. She fastened it up into a ponytail with a bright green elasticated bobble then grimaced when she caught sight of herself in the dressing-table mirror. She couldn’t help thinking how at odds the youthful hairstyle was with her burgeoning figure.
She turned sideways to the mirror, pulling the baggy T-shirt taut across the full swell of her breasts and the pronounced curve of her belly. Day by day her body was changing as the baby grew. In one way it was exciting to see the evidence of what was happening but in another it was scary. She couldn’t help wondering how she would feel as her pregnancy advanced. Would she feel proud of the new life growing inside her or simply ugly when her body became even more swollen?
‘Thanks for the tracksuit. Not quite the perfect fit, shall we say…’
Anna’s head swung round and she felt a wave of sickness hit her when she saw Ben standing in the doorway. At any other time she might have found the sight of him standing there with his muscular arms and legs poking out of her tracksuit amusing. However, she had absolutely no desire to laugh when she saw the dawning shock that crossed his face.
She let go of the T-shirt abruptly so that its concealing folds hid her stomach from view, but the damage had been done. Ben had obviously guessed that she was pregnant. She could tell that from the way he was looking at her.
‘We need to talk, Anna. I’ll wait in the kitchen for you.’
He turned and strode away but for a few seconds she didn’t move. She closed her eyes, remembering how he’d looked at her. There was no doubt that he had been shocked and she could understand that. She also could understand if he was angry about her deception. But how would he feel when he found out the truth about this baby? Would he be repulsed by what she had done?
She knew that a lot of people would find what she had done totally unacceptable. She had already encountered disapproval, in fact, and from the least expected sources, yet the thought that Ben might feel the same filled her with dread.
She could deal with his shock, cope with his anger, but she couldn’t bear it if he was disgusted!
Anna opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror.
She simply couldn’t bear it.
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