Wade smiled, feeling a little more at ease with the chitchat. “It’s nicer here. Way too crowded at the Downtown.”
“That’s what folks have been telling me,” Dan answered. “And speaking of that, I had a talk with your sister a while back.”
Wade’s sense of dignity went on alert. He was Nora’s little brother, and she would go to great lengths to help him out. “Do I want to know what she said?”
Dan laughed. “Well, she’s a little worried about you, I think. And I get it. I fought in Vietnam. I know what it’s like to come home from a war. Getting used to civilian life again is tough.”
Wade shifted his weight uneasily. He wasn’t used to talking like this. Not to someone like Dan. Not to anyone, really, except lately to Nora and Todd. And Dr. Miller. “It’s kind of a challenge,” he admitted. “And starting up the ranch was a crazy idea. I’m learning pretty quickly that I’ve got a lot to learn.”
Dan laughed. “Don’t worry. I almost bankrupted this business a few times when I first started out. There’s a big learning curve when you try something new.”
Wade nodded. “Thanks for the sympathy.” But he didn’t really want more of it. It just didn’t sit well. Maybe it was just his pride talking, but now that he knew his mind didn’t work as well as it used to, pride was all he had left. “I’ll just get my groceries, then.”
He started down the aisles, filling his basket with soups and pasta and other staples. And a baguette that, thankfully, he never mistook for an M60. Then he was back at the counter and Dan was ringing him up.
Wade was just starting to feel relieved that they weren’t going to have any more personal conversations when Dan handed him his receipt and said, “You know, when I first got back from ’Nam, loud noises bugged me a lot. And crowds.” He sighed as if reliving the memory. “Honestly, pretty much everything bugged me. So if you want to come here early, before the store opens, and do your shopping like you did today, that’s no problem.”
“Thanks,” Wade muttered, touched and mortified by Dan’s kindness. Was his PTSD that obvious? Could everyone see it? He grabbed his bag. “I appreciate that.”
“And if you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here. I’ll probably understand. It’s an adjustment, Wade. Sometimes it helps to have someone who’s been through it on your side.”
Wade squared his shoulders. He was an army ranger, dammit. Not some emotional ponytailed dude like Dan who wanted to talk about his feelings. “I’m doing good, Dan. I appreciate the offer, though, truly.” Raising his cup of coffee in a brief salute, Wade pushed through the door into the crisp morning air. He could do this. He could shop and ranch and overcome this PTSD thing on his own. He had to. He’d come home to Benson to resurrect the Hoffman ranch and make his family name stand for something much finer than it had before. And that wasn’t going to happen if he sat around telling sob stories with Dan Sanders at the Blue Water Mercantile.
LORI SCOWLED AS she turned into Wade’s driveway. Everything about him moving back to Marker Ranch felt unfair. Especially seeing Wade now. He was bent over, sanding the board he’d laid across a couple of sawhorses, his working arm muscles so defined she could see them from here. Unfair. He was dressed in a tight khaki T-shirt and low-slung faded jeans, with a tool belt hanging off his hips. And that was unfair, too. Because he was beautiful and he affected her like no one else ever had. It had always been that way for her, and it wasn’t fair that despite everything that had happened between them, she still couldn’t drag her eyes away.
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since he’d stepped out of that shed the other day. Which was also unfair, since she’d devoted years of effort to forgetting him. Obviously it hadn’t worked. Maybe her old desire for him had been lingering this entire time like some kind of cancer, deep in her cells. Now that he was back, it was spreading through her system, and there didn’t seem to be much she could do to stop it. But she couldn’t let it get the better of her. She had to be strong today.
If Wade was surprised to see her, he didn’t let on, just glanced up as her truck bumped down his driveway and shoved a pair of safety glasses up onto his head.
Maybe she was a coward, afraid of the emotions Wade drew out of her, but she was glad she’d brought Jim along. Her ranch foreman had known her since she was a kid. She was far more likely to behave well with him looking on.
“He needs to grade this road,” Jim complained. “My old bones can’t take this kind of jostle.”
Lori forced herself to stop noticing the way Wade’s chest muscles moved when he reached up to wipe sweat from his forehead. “That might have more to do with the state of the shocks on this old truck.”
“Or the state of my shocks,” Jim said with a grin. “I’m telling you, I may just heed your father’s example and get myself a little beach shack down in Florida somewhere.”
Lori glanced his way, wondering if he was serious. “I hope you don’t. Or at least, see me through this first year. Please? It’s a rough one so far.”
Jim’s face creased into a reassuring smile. “You’re doing just fine.”
“I don’t think so. The guys hate me. I swear they roll their eyes every time I ask them to do something.”
“They don’t hate you. But they are testing you.” Jim gripped his door handle with white knuckles when Lori navigated around a pothole so big it might have been a crater. “You’ve always been a spitfire, Lori. Don’t hold back on those guys just because you’re in charge now. If they give you grief, be a smartass and dish it straight back at ’em. When they see you giving as good as you get, they’ll settle down.”
“That’s not the management advice they gave me in college.”
“Well, maybe those college folks don’t know everything.”
“Maybe not. I’ll work on my smartassness.” She shot him a wink and he chuckled.
“I’ll look forward to it. Now park this damn truck before we hit another one of these bumps.”
They were at the end of the drive, where the dusty road widened into the dusty front yard. Lori put the truck into Park and stopped the engine. “You ready for this?”
“Let’s get it over with.” Jim shook his head. “Never did think I’d see the day when I came begging a Hoffman for water.”
As they stepped down from the truck and slammed the doors, Wade came toward them. “Hey, Lori” was all he said. She couldn’t read his expression. She’d never really been able to. Even when they were kids, he’d masked his feelings behind a wall of defiance and attitude—a magnet for her adolescent heart. And right now it was all back. Shielding him. Awakening all of that same ridiculous longing.
“Do you remember Jim Duncan?”
“Of course. Nice to see you again, Jim.”
Lori marveled at Wade’s polite tone, his calm, cordial voice. The military had certainly taught him good manners.
“Nice to have you back, Wade. I can see you’ve already made some improvements on the place.” Jim reached out and shook Wade’s hand.
Lori smiled at Jim, grateful that he was the one buttering Wade up. She knew bringing him with her was a good idea. He’d make sure she kept things professional.
Both men were looking at her expectantly.
She took a bracing breath. “Wade, I said some things the other day that I regret.”
Jim looked at her sharply. She hadn’t exactly filled him in on the details of her and Wade’s previous chat.
“Thank