“I still feel stupid and ashamed. At least I did. Now I’ve moved on. Anyway, that goes in the column of reasons why I’m not married. I take issue with your assuming that a woman has to—” she made air quotes “—be married and pop out babies to be living the American Dream.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I kind of figured that one out on my own. The woman thing is hard. Any suggestions on how to do better?”
She thought for a second. “Movies. Watch movies.” She started writing on a piece of paper. “Two Weeks Notice, Brooklyn, Juno, Steel Magnolias.” She wrote down several others. “These are all strong women in great stories. Watch them, then we’ll talk.”
He took the list and stood. “Thanks, Renee. I appreciate it. I’ll start watching them today.”
Before she could answer, he was gone. Just like that. No offer for a lunchtime quickie or even some idle chitchat.
“You are such a guy,” she murmured, before turning back to her computer. Which, she had to admit to herself, wasn’t really a bad thing at all.
JASPER WATCHED THE movies Renee suggested and a few more. He made sure he fed Koda on time and took the old guy for a walk every day. Otherwise, he was pretty much glued to his TV or tablet. He watched movies while jogging on his treadmill, while preparing and eating his meals. He fell asleep watching movies, then started fresh in the morning.
Several days later, he surfaced, realizing he’d watched all the ones Renee had suggested, and several more, and he still had questions. After checking the time on his phone and realizing it was barely seven in the evening, he texted Renee.
You around?
A bit later, she responded. Are you asking what I think you’re asking?
He picked up his phone and called her.
“I was asking if we could talk,” he said when she answered. “I watched all those movies you suggested and I have a lot of questions.” And an interest in seeing her because it had been a few days and even while watching the movies, she’d been on his mind.
“Oh. Okay. I wasn’t sure.”
“What else would I be asking?”
“I thought maybe a polite version of ‘u up.’ You know—the texting question about a booty call.”
“I didn’t know that.” He paused. “Maybe I knew that, but I wasn’t thinking about that.”
She chuckled. “Apparently we need a code word. And to be honest, some foreplay, because I would need more than ‘u up’ to get me in the mood.”
“I can be all about foreplay. What would you like?” Because while he had wanted to ask her some questions, they could wait until after. “Or I could come over and figure it out.”
“I can’t. I have my period and I feel awful. And while that probably falls under the category of TMI, it’s true.”
“I’m sorry. Can I do anything?”
“I wish, but this is my problem. However, I am available to school you on the mysterious ways of women. Did you really watch all those movies?”
“Yes, and a lot more. You sure you’re up for company?”
“I would appreciate the distraction. Just ignore the soft whimpers.”
“Would ice cream help?”
She sighed. “Actually, it would help a lot.”
“I’m on my way.”
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