She glanced at Lily, playing with her toys on the parlour rug, quite oblivious to the fact her mother was gone for ever. Of course the child had asked for her, but had seemed satisfied to know that her mama was with the angels in heaven. Yet every time Dawn answered her granddaughter’s sweetly innocent question she was sure Lily would be affected by her distress, though she did her utmost not to show it.
Presently the child danced the little doll on her lap, singing to the gift her grandma had brought her. Dawn smiled wistfully. It seemed such a long, long time ago that she had happily browsed the Regent Street shops for presents for Lily. Yet just a week had passed. And almost every minute of every hour of those days had been filled with heartache.
‘A gentleman caller, m’m.’
Mrs Grove had quietly entered the sitting room, stirring Dawn from a sightless contemplation of the greensward beyond the window pane. The woman was still haggard from constant weeping. The cook had had to be revived with smelling salts after learning of her mistress’s passing.
‘A Mr Valance asks to see you, but says he understands if you would like him to go away.’
‘No... I should like to see him, Mrs Grove.’ Had she really felt a little thrill? For days past Dawn had been numbed by grief and sure she’d never know any other emotion.
She stood up, brushing down her creased skirts. She had no deepest mourning clothes with her, but had sewn a black armband on the sleeve of her lavender gown. She imagined she looked a wreck from weeping so used her hanky on her tear-smudged cheeks, then attempted to neaten wisps of chestnut hair, tucking them into their pins. She was still conscious of Jack Valance’s appeal, she wryly realised, or wouldn’t bother readying herself to receive him.
The door opened and he came in, his grey eyes immediately locking with her dark green stare, shadowed by pain.
‘I will not stay long. I understand you might not want visitors. But I had to come to say...’ He hesitated as though unsure how to proceed. ‘I am just so sorry for your loss.’
Dawn smiled. ‘I know you are, sir. Thank you, not only for your condolences, but for all the help you gave to us.’
‘Would that I could have done more,’ Jack said vehemently. He approached and gently took her hands in his.
She allowed him to hold them, liking the feel of his warm palms wrapped around her cold fingers. ‘I was expecting you might come to the funeral.’
‘I was not invited and doubted that Peter Mansfield would wish to have me just turn up.’ He paused. ‘I wanted to come back sooner to see you. I didn’t in case I was being intrusive. I’ve not stopped thinking of you, though, for a single minute.’
Dawn hadn’t stopped thinking of him either, despite the horror of losing her stepdaughter. Dawn had wished Jack had come to the funeral, but understood his reasons for staying away. The vicar had made it clear he wanted a small, discreet affair when his wife was laid to rest. He’d intimated it was from respect for her, but Dawn suspected it was to shield himself from disapproving looks. News might have circulated about the circumstances of Mrs Mansfield’s demise.
In all, the mourners had numbered just a dozen and most of those had comprised Peter’s ecclesiastical colleagues. A few neighbours and Dr Wilson had come to the wake at the vicarage which had lasted less than an hour.
‘What will you do now? Will you return to London?’ Jack enquired.
‘Yes... I must. I cannot stand to stay here with him. Neither, I think, does he want me to. At times I feel so angry that I cannot hold my tongue so am a constant reminder of his terrible neglect of Eleanor.’ Dawn frowned, remembering the vicar’s curt good morning to her when they had passed earlier in the hall. For her part she would sooner ignore him and keep her distance. When in his orbit she felt a compulsion to leap towards him and pummel him for what he’d done. ‘Peter still blames me for interfering, even though the doctor severely rebuked him for failing to get his wife the help she so desperately needed.’ She glanced at Lily. ‘Yet... I cannot bear leaving the poor little mite behind when I return home. I wish I could take her with me and care for her.’ Her voice broke and she shielded her distress behind unsteady fingers.
Jack gently drew her into his arms. ‘Come... You have endured a tragedy, but are coping admirably with it and I know you will continue to do so.’ He paused, brushing rogue chestnut curls away from her spiky wet lashes so he might gaze into a pair of bright green eyes. ‘The most sensible thing would be for the vicar to put his daughter into your care in London, at least until he sorts out a good nursemaid to take charge of his daughter.’
‘I have already suggested to him all of that, but because he knows how much that arrangement would please me, he has dismissed it out of hand.’ She knuckled fresh tears from her eyes. ‘The child is his responsibility, he says, and must stay with him. Yet he pays Lily no heed whatsoever. He doesn’t deserve to have the dear little thing.’
‘Am I right in thinking it is not just this calamity that has coloured your opinion of Peter Mansfield?’
‘I’ve never liked him. Now I loathe him,’ Dawn admitted with unsuppressed vehemence. She clamped together her lips; she had confided too much. She hardly knew Jack Valance, yet was telling him very personal things. She had felt that immediate connection to him years ago, almost from the day they’d met. But he obviously hadn’t felt the same way about her to so easily forget her and go abroad without a word. She had allowed him liberties then...and was doing so now, standing quietly within his embrace as though it were her natural place to be. But it wasn’t; if what she’d heard was true he had a fiancée. Though she knew he was simply comforting her, she stepped away from him. Just in time, as it transpired.
‘Ah... Valance. How are you, my good fellow? My servant said you had arrived.’ Peter Mansfield strode into the room and extended his hand. His attitude was completely different to that on the day he had first met Jack. Then he had treated him as an interloper instead of a guest.
‘My condolences on your loss, sir.’ Jack shook hands.
Peter huffed a sigh. ‘Thank you. I wanted a son more than anything.’ A silence followed, but the bereaved husband made no mention of missing anybody else as he plunged his hands on his hips. ‘I have heard talk in the village that you have taken up residence at Croxley Grange, Mr Valance.’
‘It is a temporary stay. My preference is to reside most of the year in London.’
‘We had heard that a viscount had taken over the whole estate.’ Peter clucked his tongue. ‘The gossips concoct such fantastical tales.’
‘On this occasion they are correct.’
Peter’s grin appeared to freeze on his face. ‘You are Lord Sterling?’ he eventually burbled.
‘I am.’ Jack gave a slow nod.
‘Well...what splendid news. While you are in the vicinity you are very welcome to visit the vicarage whenever you wish, my lord.’ Peter gave an obsequious bow.
Dawn darted a glance from beneath her lashes at Jack. He was watching for her reaction to the news he was an aristocrat. She was surprised to hear of his elevation, but then there had been no reason or opportunity for him to discuss his business with her. Years ago, when she’d believed them to be growing closer, he’d told her a little bit about his family. He was the younger son of a baron with a meagre allowance and few prospects, he’d said. She’d known things were different for him now. Emma’s husband had described his friend’s change in circumstances as Valance having found his feet and his fortune. And in rather a magnificent way, it seemed.
‘While you are in Essex, my lord, you must meet some of the local