Lucy stepped back, putting some distance between them, and drew in a deep breath, telling herself she hadn’t needed or wanted that hug. “I think I’ll leave the faith to you, Aunt Essie. I’ll deal with the ranch and making sure Maria is healthy. You and God work out the rest.”
Essie laughed a little. “Oh, don’t you worry. Me and God are on very good terms.”
“I know.”
Unfortunately Lucy and God were another matter altogether. She’d had a childhood of God, sermons, the Bible and beatings. She avoided church and people who wanted to help her “get right with the Lord.” She admired people with genuine faith. She knew that it mattered. But she couldn’t make the walls disappear. The fortress around her heart was strong, built one beating at a time.
She headed for the house. Again the putrid smell of neglect hit her the moment she walked through the door. First things first—she needed some bleach and pine cleaner. Maria was in the kitchen scavenging in the fridge. She mumbled something about “nothing to eat” and that she was eating for two. “Don’t people realize the tadpole needs nourishment?”
Lucy couldn’t help but smile. The mischievous little girl Lucy had known had survived, still smart-mouthed and funny. She was the one good thing to come out of this place. And she could still smile. Lucy envied her sister.
“Essie said she’d feed us tonight. Until then, is there anything in the cabinets that isn’t spoiled?” Lucy grabbed a bottle of water out of the door of the fridge, and then gagged a little. “What’s in there?”
Maria slammed the door of the fridge, put a hand to her mouth and ran.
Lucy followed her sister to the bathroom door.
“Don’t come in,” Maria grumbled.
“I’m not, but I’m here if you need me.” She leaned against the wall and waited.
Her little sister was having a baby. It would take time to wrap her mind around this new reality. Maria had been seven when Lucy left home to join the Army. She’d been a terror in pigtails, with a dirty face and into all kinds of trouble.
A bittersweet memory surfaced. Maria, insecure, crawling in bed with Lucy after everyone else went to sleep.
Now that little girl was going to be a mother.
“Luce?”
“I’m here.”
“I don’t want a baby,” Maria sobbed.
Lucy took that as an invitation to step into the bathroom. Maria was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, her eyes closed, perspiration dampening her brow. She was pale and thin. No, not thin. The baby bump beneath her T-shirt was obvious.
Lucy shoved back the dozens of responses to her sister’s statement. It wouldn’t do any good to tell Maria she should have thought about wanting a baby before she’d gotten herself pregnant. She couldn’t change what had happened. Instead there were obvious consequences. A child. A baby with two kids as parents, kids who didn’t want to be parents.
“No, I’m sure you don’t want a baby.” Lucy didn’t know what else to say. Maria scrunched her nose and frowned. “Sorry, Maria. I’m not sure what to say. But I’m here. We’ll get through this.”
“You’ve been telling me that for a long time,” Maria whispered, looking young and frightened in this new role life had cast her in.
But not by herself.
Lucy sighed and remembered back, to nights when she’d tried to reassure her little sister.
Long-ago nights when Maria would crowd onto the twin bed in the room the two shared. They would hug each other and Lucy would whisper that it would be okay. Tiny Maria would pat her cheek or trace the bruise on Lucy’s face.
She’d never thought about it before, but the two of them had survived the way soldiers survive—together.
“I guess I’ve never known what else to say, Maria. We will get through this. Yes, you’ll have a baby. But it isn’t the end of the world.”
“It is for me.”
Lucy sank down to sit next to her sister. “It isn’t. I promise. You’ll graduate soon. You can take classes online.”
Maria gasped and looked at her. “I graduated early. In December. You didn’t know. I wondered, because you weren’t here.”
Stunned, they sat in silence for several minutes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
“We didn’t make a big deal out of it. I got my diploma. Mom told me I’m brilliant. Alex sent me a postcard from California, and Marcus called.”
And Lucy had done nothing.
Maria patted her leg, a reassuring gesture for a young sister to give an older sibling. “Don’t let it bother you. Mom is like that. She probably thought you were too busy. Or that you wouldn’t want to be here.”
“I should have been here. I wish you’d called me.”
Maria leaned against her. “I want to be a doctor.”
Another thing she hadn’t known about her little sister.
“That’s pretty impressive.”
“I’m going to give the baby up for adoption.”
The words hung between them for several minutes. Maria remained quiet, her eyes closed, her breathing ragged. Lucy took a minute to process what her sister had told her because it felt as if she were trying to avoid land mines as she navigated the situation she’d walked into. When Aunt Essie had called and told her to come home, she hadn’t given the slightest bit of a hint to what Lucy was walking into. Lucy had convinced herself she was heading home to take care of livestock and nothing more.
“What about the father?” she asked belatedly.
Maria shrugged. “He told me he isn’t ready to be a dad. And I know he isn’t. Besides, he left last month. He joined the Army.”
“Whatever you decide about the baby, I’m here for you.” It was the only response that made any sense. Of course she would be there for her sister.
But she hadn’t been, had she? Guilt coiled around her heart, giving it a tight squeeze.
“Are you going to leave again?” Maria didn’t move; her head remained on Lucy’s shoulder. “I’m tired of being alone.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” She glanced at her watch. “I take that back. I’m going to town. We need real food in this house and cleaning supplies.”
“Dane’s fence?” Maria reminded.
“I’ll take care of the fence.”
She had a list of things to take care of. Her sister, for now, was at the top of that list. She also needed to call Daron McKay and Boone Wilder, her partners in the bodyguard business and let them know she wouldn’t be back, not for a while. Maybe not ever.
That was the last thing she wanted to consider at this moment, that she might have to give up her career.
Maria gave her a quirky grin. “Dane Scott is yummy, thirty and single. If I was you, I’d take my time mending that fence.”
The only fence she and Dane Scott would be mending was the one Maria had driven the truck through. And when it was finished, he could stay on his side and she’d stay on hers. He was nothing more than a distraction and she didn’t like to be distracted.
* * *
Dane followed the Realtor, Jeff Owens, across the lawn. They’d driven most of the property, toured the barns, the stable and the house. The only thing left to do was sign on the dotted line. But when a man was signing a piece of paper that