I was a shadow then, of course. Hiding behind my husband.
I’m hoping that will change here.
‘It feels like I’m leaving Tom in prison,’ I say, trying for a little laugh.
Mr Cockrun meets my eye, his hard, black pupils unwavering. ‘There is a very long waiting list for this school, Mrs Kinnock. Thanks to social services, your son jumped right to the top. I’d have thought you’d be the last parent to criticise.’
‘I didn’t mean to—’
‘We usually pick and choose who we let in.’ The politician’s smile returns. ‘Let’s make sure we’re on the same page, Mrs Kinnock. Not start off on the wrong foot.’
He strolls back to the school building, and I’m left watching and wondering.
When I get back to our new Victorian house with its large, wraparound garden and elegant porch pillars, I sit on the front wall, put my head in my hands and cry.
I try not to make a sound, but sobs escape through my fingers.
Things will get better.
Of course I’m going to feel emotional on his first day.
I’ve been invited to a party, but I’m on the outside, not knowing what to do with myself. I’m not a skier or snowboarder, so I’m … nowhere. Standing on the balcony, looking at the mountains, I feel very alone.
Morzine is one of the world’s best ski resorts. I’ve heard it described as ‘electric’ after dark. Tomorrow, the slopes will be tingling with pink, white and yellow snowsuits. But tonight, they’re white and calm.
It sounded so adventurous, being a chalet girl out here. But the truth is, I’m running away. Things with Mum are unbearable again. I thought they’d be better after university, but if anything they’re worse. Her need to tear me down is stronger than ever.
It’s not about blame.
All I know is that I needed to get away, for my own sanity.
Behind me, Olympic hopefuls talk and laugh in their day clothes, drinking sparkling water or, if they’re real rebels, small bottles of beer.
Most of them aren’t interested in a twenty-something chalet girl with straight, brown hair and floral-patterned Doc Marten boots.
But … someone has come to stand beside me. He’s a tall, blond man wearing ripped jeans and a loose, light pink T-shirt. His light tan and white panda eyes tell me he’s a skier or snowboarder – probably a serious one, if the other guests at this party are anything to go by.
‘It’s Lizzie,’ the man asks. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘How do you know my name?’
‘You’re still wearing your name badge.’
I glance down and see my health and safety training sticker: Lizzie Riley.
‘You don’t remember me?’ the man challenges, raising a thick, blond eyebrow.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t—’
‘Olly.’ He holds out a large hand for me to shake. ‘I’m staying in the chalet next to you. With the Olympic rabble over there.’ He points to a rowdy group of young men holding beers. ‘You’re a chalet girl, right?’ He grins. ‘Nice work if you can get it.’
‘Actually, it can be exhausting,’ I say.
Olly laughs. ‘Are you thinking about jumping off the mountain then?’
My smile disappears. ‘No. Why would you ask that?’
‘Just joking.’
We stare out at the peaks for a minute.
A live band strikes up behind us, playing a Beatles cover – ‘Love Me Do’.
Olly’s shoulders move to the music.
Mine do too.
‘You like the Beatles?’ Olly asks.
‘Yes.’ I look at him shyly, hoping this is the right answer.
‘Me too! I have a massive collection of Sixties vinyl.’
‘You collect vinyl?’ I ask.
‘No, well … not really. Most of my records are my mum’s. She listens to CDs now. It feels like time-travelling when I play vinyl, you know? Like I’m part of the swinging Sixties.’
‘Olly!’ A tall, red-cheeked man swaggers over, holding out a beer bottle. ‘Olly Kinnock. This is supposed to be a lads’ night out and here you are chatting up girls again.’
Olly smiles at me, staring with blue, blue eyes. ‘Not girls. A girl. A very interesting girl.’
I feel myself blushing.
‘Fair enough,’ announces the red-cheeked man, thrusting the beer into Olly’s hand. ‘We’ll see you in the morning then.’ He returns to his group of friends, who break into guffaws of laughter.
‘Sorry about them,’ says Olly, putting his elbow on the balcony and, in the process, leaning nearer to me. ‘They can be morons.’
‘You can go back to them if you like.’
‘Actually, I’ve always preferred female company,’ says Olly. ‘Girls smell better. But you must have a boyfriend, surely? A pretty girl like you. So tell me to get lost if you want.’
I blush again and stammer, ‘Um … no, I don’t have a boyfriend.’
‘Have a drink with me then.’
Surely he’s just teasing me? Handsome snowboarders don’t chat up chalet girls. And he really is handsome, with his lean, toned arms and perfect white teeth.
His eyes are serious, holding my gaze.
Maybe he isn’t joking.
‘Okay,’ I hear myself say. ‘Why not?’
‘It’s a date.’ Olly takes my hand like he’s won a prize.
I laugh, sucking in my breath as his strong fingers close around mine.
‘So what are you drinking?’ Olly asks.
‘Um … white wine?’
‘Chardonnay?’
‘Sure. Yes please.’
He winks at me. ‘I love Chardonnay. Best wine ever. Just don’t tell the lads. It’s a bit girly. I’ve been noticing you for weeks, Lizzie Riley. I think we should spend lots and lots of time together. And then get married.’
I can barely believe this is happening. A nobody chalet girl like me, being chatted up by this confident, tanned athlete. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts. When he works out what a nothing I am, he’ll run a mile.
I laugh. ‘Are you always so forward with your wedding plans?’
‘Only with my future wife.’
‘You don’t