“I’m not rejecting—”
“No? Then what was all the times you came to the studio with flowers, food and God knows what else about if it wasn’t about getting me back into bed?”
Was she serious? “You think that was about sex?”
“Isn’t it always? Goddamn it, Trent. What’s the matter with you? Put me down.”
As though she were a china doll, he gently eased her to the ground, fighting the need to shake her. “What’s the matter with me? Jesus Christ, Iz.”
“What? You think I’ve got this all wrong? We’re talking about the great Trent Palmer, aren’t we? The brave, handsome firefighter who struts around town with his dark, glossy hair, green eyes and sexy, toe-curling smile. What else am I supposed to think other than you want to have sex with me again? For God’s sake, don’t treat me like a moron.”
He would’ve have been flattered by her summary of him if her voice hadn’t cracked on every syllable. “Iz...”
He reached for her and she held up her hand. “Don’t you touch me.” She pushed the hair back from her face and snatched up her purse that had somehow landed on the asphalt. “At least we both know where we stand. I just offered you sex and you refused. Now I want you to stop coming around to my apartment, the studio and every other damn place and leave me alone.”
He crossed his arms. “I want us to go back to the beginning.”
She huffed a laugh and widened her eyes. “And where is that? Once I dated you, things took off between us at eighty miles an hour. Feelings make things complicated. Sex is good. Sex is hot and needy. Wham, bam and out of the apartment with no one getting hurt. But an actual relationship? No way, no how.” She closed her eyes. “Go and find one of the other girls hanging off your every word to date, because I’m not one of them.”
He clenched his jaw, his previous arousal quashed by his skyrocketing irritation. “I just told you something personal about me for a reason. I don’t want people knowing about my sister or my family’s loss. I told you because I want you to know I can listen. I understand. If this was all about sex, we would’ve gotten past that years ago.”
She opened her eyes and they flickered with hurt even as she lifted her chin. “If you think what happened to your sister hasn’t affected me, you shouldn’t even be able to look at me, let alone be with me. Don’t you understand I’m saying no for your good as well as mine?” Her eyes flooded with tears. “If anything happened to you...if I can’t handle the intimacy between us and end up hurting you...” She raised her hands and shook her head. “This isn’t happening. I’m sorry about your sister. I really am, but—”
“When I target you for sex, you’ll know it, but right now I want you to have a meal with me, laugh and spend some time.”
Trent could’ve sworn he saw a flash of longing in her eyes before she blinked and it was gone. “You really don’t get it, do you? Every day...” She slumped her shoulders and looked deep into his eyes, her gaze soft and spent. “Every day you go into situations that have the potential to kill you.” She looked to the ground. “Maybe, deep inside, I know it wasn’t your fault Robbie died, but how can you expect me to separate my grief for Robbie from my feelings for you?” She met his eyes. “I can’t do this, Trent. Not anymore. I’m sorry.”
“Iz, come on. The job—”
“No. No more.”
Spinning around, she stormed away.
“Goddamn it.” Trent shoved his hand into his hair and held it there.
What now?
* * *
IZZY CLUTCHED THE BUNCH of lilies she held a little tighter, her heart thumping with trepidation. Guilt over how she’d treated Kate, her best friend, lay like a lead weight in her chest. Trent’s words about her rebuffing people’s sympathetic actions and words had kept her awake half the night.
He’d spoken the truth...about a lot of things.
All people wanted to do was help her—especially Kate. It was time Izzy made amends.
Her messed-up feelings about family, trust and forgiveness weren’t Kate’s...they were Izzy’s, and her friend hadn’t deserved Izzy’s mistreatment of their love and friendship.
Taking a deep breath, she approached Kate’s front door and rang the bell.
Swift footsteps sounded from the other side before the door swung open, revealing Kate with her usual wide and welcoming smile. Her curly brown hair was whipped up into a messy knot on top of her head and she wore her uniform of jeans and a shirt, currently dotted with what looked like white paint.
Kate’s smile dissolved. “Wow. It’s you.”
Izzy grimaced and held out the flowers. “For you, with a humungous apology.”
“It’s a cheap shot, considering lilies are my absolute favorite flowers.” Kate took the lilies with a wink, her smile reappearing. “But apology and flowers accepted. Get in here. We have some serious catching up to do.”
Izzy stepped inside and grabbed Kate into a bear hug, almost crushing the flowers in the process. “I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah, take a ticket and join the queue.”
Izzy laughed and, arm in arm, she and Kate walked along the hallway into her bright and sunny kitchen.
Kate walked to the sink. “Grab a chair while I wash this paint off my hands and put these flowers in some water.”
“What have you been up to?”
“I’m painting the utility room. Fancied sprucing it up a little.”
“It’s so great to see you.” Izzy glanced toward the open utility room door as she slid onto a seat around the scrubbed pine table. “I’ve been such a nightmare. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be silly. You’re grieving and I wish I could do more to help.” Kate filled a vase and arranged the flowers in a blur of effortless skill. She glanced over her shoulder, her gaze sympathetic. “My heart breaks for you, Iz. It really does.”
“I know and I’m so sorry for pushing you away. I’m not even sure what I was trying to achieve.” Izzy sighed. “Someone gave me a talking-to last night and his words cut pretty deep.”
Kate frowned. “His words? I thought if anyone, it would’ve been Marian who gave you a talking-to.”
“Believe it or not, it wasn’t our town matriarch. And I shouldn’t have rejected your support...or anyone else’s for that matter. I’m slowly clawing my way back and so glad you still want me around.”
“Of course I do.” Kate brought the flowers to the table and positioned them in the center. “So, who was it that broke through that stubborn facade of yours if it wasn’t Marian?”
Heat immediately rose in Izzy’s cheeks. She slid her gaze from her friend’s to the table and drew invisible circles on its surface with her finger. “None other than firefighter Trent.”
“Really? Well, well, well...”
“What does that mean?” Izzy frowned and met Kate’s eyes, which sparkled with an almost demonic glee. “And why are you looking at me like that?”
“It means I love the guy and so should you.”
“Love Trent?” Izzy huffed a laugh, fighting the softening in her heart since she’d learned of his sister’s death and accepting that he must have gone through the same heartbreaking pain as her. “The man has more than enough admirers. He certainly doesn’t need any more.”
“Yeah, okay, you keep telling yourself Trent isn’t worth your attention. We’ll see how that pans out, shall we?”