Millicent went straight to her room when she arrived home, then to the bathroom to get a cool washcloth to put on her head. She lay down on the bed, covered her pounding forehead with the damp cloth and closed her eyes. Dear Lord, thank You for getting me through this morning. Please help this pain disappear and let me not give away how horrible I feel at dinner tonight. I can’t let Matt sense how much I dread going back. Please help me to get past this sick feeling. In Jesus’s name, amen.
Thankfully, she soon dozed off and was able to sleep the afternoon away. By dinnertime the throbbing pain had eased to a dull ache and she felt well enough to freshen up. She gave a little more color to her cheeks by pinching them. At least she didn’t have to go back to Park Row for another week. Surely that would get easier as time went on.
She made it downstairs just as Mrs. Heaton was calling everyone to dinner and she was glad that she didn’t have to join the others in the parlor. But Matt seemed to be at her chair before she was and as he pulled it out, he whispered, “How are you feeling?”
She forced herself to smile at him. “Better. Thank you for helping me find the shots I wanted and for putting up with us.”
He seemed taken back for a moment before he smiled and said, “Only doing my job. I’m glad you’re feeling well.”
He looked as if he truly cared, and Millicent couldn’t resist that smile. “Thank you. So am I.”
Mrs. Heaton asked Stephen to say the blessing, and as Gretchen and Maida began to serve dinner, she turned to Millicent.
“How did your day go, dear? Was the view as wonderful as Matt claims?”
“Oh, the view is magnificent, Mrs. Heaton. It’s all Matt’s said and more.”
“You didn’t get dizzy?” Julia asked.
Dear Julia, she would ask a question Millicent didn’t want to answer. But she couldn’t evade answering—not with Matt sitting next to her. “I did a bit. I bent and turned too fast, but I managed. Barely.”
“She toughed things out,” Matt said. “But I thought for sure she was going to—”
“Matt! Not at the dinner table!”
He chuckled and shook his head.
“Did you let her get too close to the edge, Matt?” Julia asked.
“I did not. Nor will I. But the first time up that high can make a person a little light-headed.”
“I’ll get used to it,” Millicent said. She had to.
“I think it’s very brave of you to face your fears, Millicent dear,” Mrs. Heaton said.
“I don’t know how brave I am, Mrs. Heaton. But it’s the chance of a lifetime for my career. This will enable me to open my own shop much sooner.”
* * *
There it was again—her career, her business and her shop. He’d never met a more independent woman who was so determined to make her own way. His ex-fiancée wouldn’t follow him to New York and wanted to go her own way, but he’d never gotten the impression she didn’t want a man to take care of her, like he did from Millicent. From what he’d heard from back home, Carla had already found a man who owned his own business and was now planning their wedding.
But with Millicent’s plans, there didn’t seem to be any room in her life for a man who might want to make a living with her, take care of her. Not when she was determined to do everything herself.
Matt couldn’t deny she’d been brave today and he admired her for it. She’d also looked very vulnerable and he’d wanted to hold her until the world stopped spinning for her. But she’d pulled away from him and made it clear she didn’t need or want his help.
He sighed as he tried to listen to the conversations going on around the table. But he couldn’t get his mind off the woman beside him. She still didn’t feel well; he could tell because she’d only taken small portions of each dish and now she seemed to be just moving everything around on her plate.
A look of relief came over her face as others began to get up from the table and he pushed his own chair back to help her with hers. Everyone headed to the parlor, but Millicent hung back for a moment.
“You coming, Millicent?” Julia asked. “We could play a game of charades if you do.”
Matt watched Millicent take a deep breath, as she seemed to draw on some inner strength. He was certain she wasn’t going to let anyone know how bad she felt.
“All right. I’ll play for a bit,” she said, confirming his instinct. But that realization both vexed him and saddened him as she followed the others into the parlor. That she’d taken this assignment and was putting herself through unnecessary stress made him want to shake her. But the fact she did and was so resolute about keeping her word—even if it made her lose her appetite—made him want to comfort her. But that seemed to be the last thing she’d want from him—and that saddened him most of all.
Over the next hour she did seem to relax and enjoy herself and for her sake he was glad. Surely the worst was behind her. She’d gone up and faced her fear of heights even though it hadn’t been easy. Maybe by next Friday she’d feel more comfortable. He’d pray she would. And that he wasn’t so...tense when she was there. Perhaps his frustration wasn’t with her at all but with himself.
The next day Millicent woke up early, dressed and hurried up to the darkroom on the third floor to develop the photographs she’d taken at the Park Row Building. She’d slept better than she thought she would after napping most of the afternoon the day before, but then she and Julia and Emily stayed up late working on the albums for Mrs. Heaton. They’d definitely decided one wouldn’t do—there were too many photos and too many years to put in it. And Millicent looked forward to taking more photographs to put in them over the coming years.
But for now she needed to concentrate on the ones she was developing. She placed the paper in the developer solution and began to grin as the first image became clear. She could tell it was a great shot. Millicent rinsed it, fixed it and washed it, then hung it up before going on to the next plate. By the time she’d hung them all to dry, she was confident Elizabeth and John would be pleased with the outcome.
She especially loved the ones of the Statue of Liberty and the others showing the landscape out from the top of Park Row. After she finished the developing, she cleaned up her equipment and left the photos to dry completely while she went down to breakfast.
Almost everyone was there and she hurried to fix her plate at the sideboard before joining them around the table.
“Slept in, did you?” Stephen teased.
“No, I’ve been working. I wanted to get the Park Row photographs developed before we take off for the day.”
“Take off? Where are you all going today?” Joe asked.
“I have to work but Julia and Millicent are going to the Ladies’ Mile and out and about,” Emily informed him.
Millicent hoped Emily didn’t mention the suffrage meeting she and Julia were going to before they went shopping. But Emily put her fears to rest when she turned the conversation around. “What are you men doing today? Got another ball game lined up?”
“As a matter of fact, we do.” Matt’s gaze caught Millicent’s and his smile made her chest tighten. He seemed to be in a very good mood. “How did your shots turn out? I’d like to see them before you hand them over to John and Elizabeth.”
“I’d be glad to show them to you once they are completely dry. I want to get them to the Talbots before Monday.” And then she could forget about going back to Park Row for a few days at least.
“I’ll