At a loss, she gestured toward the heap of bags and coats at his feet. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Thank you for the offer,” he replied, his light tone not quite ringing true. “But as you can see, I’m beyond help.” He nuzzled the top of Alyce’s head. “Isn’t that right, my dear?”
Alyce bussed his cheek with a delighted squeal, and something inside Tessa melted a little. “I don’t believe that for a moment.”
Mr. McCoy flashed his boyish grin once more. “Perhaps not.”
Certainly it was the early fall sun warming her cheeks. If only her own troubles weren’t quite so overwhelming. The little family was obviously in need of a good deed, and good deeds were her new stock-in-trade.
The previous year, she and Emmett had attended a tent revival on a lark. The edifying experience had set her on a path of atonement. While she hadn’t been completely sold on the itinerant religion, the preacher’s words had given voice to the nagging unease in her heart.
That little voice had turned out to be her conscience. Each day with Emmett, that pesky voice had grown louder until she’d realized there was only one way to silence the clamoring. Since Emmett’s moral compass had never been set to true north anyway, he’d taken her desertion badly.
Tessa squared her shoulders. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. McCoy. I wish you all the best on your journey.”
She wasn’t certain if he was coming or going, and she didn’t suppose it mattered.
“Likewise,” he said. “What about you? Are you on the first leg of some grand adventure?”
“Actually.” She let a small, self-indulgent sigh escape. “I’m not certain where I’m going.”
“You’re all alone, then?”
His innocent question had her eyes burning once more. If only her last words with Emmett hadn’t been harsh. Her change of heart concerning his dubious activities had driven a wedge between them, and she should have tried harder to make him understand. If they’d been on better terms when the Fultons had approached him, she’d have talked him out of consorting with the dangerous gang.
The Fultons.
Her heartbeat picked up rhythm and her gaze darted around the platform. “Being alone isn’t such a bad thing.”
She’d been standing here like a dolt instead of keeping an eye out for trouble. A dangerous mistake.
Satisfied her lapse hadn’t been fatal, she assumed her most serene smile. “I believe I’ll go wherever the wind takes me.”
She sure hoped the wind picked up soon.
“I miss those days,” Mr. McCoy replied a touch wistfully. “Enjoy the freedom.”
Alyce snatched his ear and tugged, replacing his melancholy expression with an indulgent chuckle.
Tessa’s gaze lingered on his face. My, but he had striking eyes. She gave herself a mental shake. What sort of woman mooned after a widower? Quite a few, judging by the admiring gazes he received from several female passengers strolling past.
Bending to Owen’s eye level, she smiled. “Stay out of trouble.”
“Ga.”
Unable to resist, she ruffled his hair, prolonging the moment. Her gaze locked with Mr. McCoy and they remained frozen, cocooned among the porter’s calls and the shouted greetings tossed toward departing passengers. Never in her life had she felt such an immediate connection to someone. Or was her continued solitude simply taking its toll?
“I’m in your debt,” Mr. McCoy said, breaking the taut thread of awareness stretching between them.
“Anyone would do the same.” She tightened the ribbons on her bonnet and turned away. She mustn’t leave her trunk unattended for long. As she knew firsthand, there were thieves lurking everywhere. “Perhaps we’ll cross paths again one day.”
Tessa tossed the last comment over her shoulder, wondering if he’d felt the same instant kinship. Probably not. Her shoulders sagged a notch before she straightened them. That sort of nonsense wouldn’t do at all. She wasn’t the sort of person who indulged in fits of melancholy. His obvious affection for his children had stirred up her guilt over Emmett, nothing more.
Mr. McCoy appeared lost and overwhelmed, emotions she understood all too well. Though the encounter felt unresolved, she resumed her seat on her trunk, retrieved her ledger and carefully searched out an offense.
Distracted shop owner while Emmett stole a hat.
In the opposite column she wrote “Returned lost toddler to his father.”
Tapping her pencil against her bottom lip, she considered her admiration of the children’s father and then discarded the lapse as an offense. He was a fetching gentleman and she’d always been drawn to kindness. No harm in that. Maybe someday, after this was all over... She shook her head. No. That was a foolish thought.
Love always came with expectations, and if one fought against those expectations, life was a misery. Her mother had expected a child would domesticate Emmett, but he’d left all the same. Emmett had expected her unwavering loyalty for his rescue, though he conveniently forgot he’d left her with those awful people in the first place.
While there were things about her years with Emmett that she’d genuinely enjoyed, her ledger of offenses was thick and her bank balance thin. She sensed Mr. McCoy was someone who lived by a rigid code of honor. A man who’d expect the same in others.
She closed her book with a snap, blocking out her pages of dishonorable deeds.
After tucking away her ledger, she studied the chalked destinations once more. Her spotty schooling had left her without much knowledge of geography, and she was at a loss. She’d settled in Wichita only because she’d liked the sound of the name.
“If You’re up there...” she began, lifting her face to the warming sun. “If You’re up there and You have any ideas, I sure could use one now.”
A distinctive wooden toy struck the base of her trunk.
“Ball,” a familiar small voice declared.
Planting her hands on her hips, Tessa leaned forward. “You are a troublemaker, aren’t you?”
Looking inordinately pleased with himself, Owen grinned. “Ga.”
Tessa squinted at the sky. “You and I need to work on our communication.”
* * *
The train whistle blew, startling Alyce, and Shane murmured soothing nonsense. He forced his thoughts away from the lovely Miss Spencer and concentrated on the task at hand. I am doing the right thing. Maybe if he kept repeating those words, they’d feel right, they’d feel true.
Unaware of the changes about to upturn her young life, Alyce fiddled with his collar and kicked her feet. I am doing the right thing.
Having left Owen with the pinch-faced Mrs. Lund, he arranged for the twins’ baggage as well as his own return ticket. Crowds of people surged around them, agitating Alyce and further darkening his mood. This was Abby’s dying wish—she wanted her children raised by her family. Only Abby wasn’t here anymore, and she didn’t see how the children’s smiles had faded beneath her sister’s dour countenance.
When he returned to where Mrs. Lund was standing, Owen was nowhere