Simon stood silent for a moment too long, a moment in which she grasped the terrible truth of what he was going to say next. Her mind screamed at her to flee. If she didn’t hear the words, they wouldn’t be true.
“I’m so sorry, Keri. She and Ben were both killed.”
She stared at Simon without really seeing him. He was no more than a hulking blur in a world suddenly gone very dark. It took so much effort to form a single word.
“Both?”
Simon took a step forward, and his footfalls on the floor sounded so much louder than they actually were, like the booming of cannons instead of the normal tread of boots. Keri retreated away from his outstretched hand. She couldn’t let him touch her. If he made contact, she’d know he was real, that what he’d said wasn’t just part of a horrendous nightmare. She could convince herself that she was really already at home, curled up in that chair in front of the fire asleep.
From somewhere beyond the disbelief, she managed to find the breath to utter another word. “Hannah?” As soon as she asked, she hated herself. She didn’t want to know, couldn’t imagine going on in a world where that precious little girl had died before seeing her first Christmas.
“She’s fine, no injuries.”
She collapsed into a chair and latched onto that one glimmer of good news among an ocean of bad. “Where is she?”
“In state custody until you can arrive.”
It took several seconds for the words to travel from her eardrum to the part of her brain that actually understood. Memories jerked her back more than a year, to when she and Sammi had sat on Keri’s front porch enjoying the pleasant October air.
“I have a favor to ask you,” Sammi had said as she ran a hand over her slight baby bump.
“Sure.”
“Ben and I are drawing up legal documents, and we want to name you as the baby’s guardian should anything happen to us.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re both healthy as a horse.”
“You know things happen unexpectedly sometimes.” Like their parents dying within a year of each other, both from cancer. “Ben’s parents already love this child, but they can’t take on raising a baby.”
The Spencers were wonderful people, but they were already in their seventies. Ben was their only child, born after they’d given up on having children.
Oh, God, they’d just lost their only child. Something about the brutality of that pain hit Keri more than her own.
Simon bent down in front of her, but he didn’t say something asinine like, “Are you okay?” She almost wished he would so she could get angry and scream at him. She wanted to kill the messenger, do something that would fill the growing emptiness, show some emotion before her mind shut down and forgot how.
He didn’t touch her, but she got the impression he was there to catch her if she suddenly fell over. Normally, that would make her mad, Simon Teague thinking she needed saving. Really, anyone thinking she needed saving. But tonight wasn’t normal, was it?
They sat in silence, the only sounds the drone of the heating unit running and the whistle of the wind around the edge of the building. After what seemed like hours, Simon was the one to speak first.
“It’s too dangerous to drive up there tonight, but we can go in the morning.”
His words made no sense. Go where? Why would he be going anywhere with her?
“Keri?” When his hand came to rest atop hers in her lap, she jerked as if he’d hit her with a branding iron.
Keri snatched her hand away and felt tears burn her eyes. Hot, searing tears that would surely make her go blind. “No, you’re wrong. I don’t believe it.”
It was the way Simon sat without speaking, how his expression continued to convey sorrow that broke through her final denial. Her fight dissolved and her chin trembled, but she somehow held her tears back. If she fell apart, she’d never be able to find and reassemble all the pieces.
She pushed her chair back, away from him and the truth written all over his face. When she stood, her legs shook so much she expected to fall into a heap on the floor. She walked over and grabbed the mop and bucket of dirty water. As she carried them to the utility room and set about dumping the water down the drain and rinsing the mop, she sensed Simon in the doorway. She ignored him as she finished her work then headed for her coat and purse.
She flicked off the lights to the kitchen and made for the front door. Simon caught her arm halfway there.
“Where are you going?”
“To Dallas.”
“Not tonight.”
“Yes, tonight. My niece needs me.”
He increased the pressure on her arm enough to make her look up at him. “Yes, she does. But she needs you alive.”
She wanted to ignore him, but a voice deep inside her acknowledged he was right. She couldn’t be so reckless, not for her own sake but for Hannah’s.
“Go home, Keri. Pull together whatever you need. I’ll pick you up first thing in the morning.”
“I can drive myself.”
“Not in that little car of yours. The roads are really bad in Dallas.”
She let her breath out in a long, shaky sigh. “I said I wouldn’t go tonight.”
“I heard you. Your car won’t be any more capable tomorrow. And I don’t want you behind the wheel that far, anyway.”
Damn it, why couldn’t he just leave? He’d done his duty. She glared at him, holding on to her frustration so she didn’t have to think about the other emotions grasping at her like claws. Not seeing any other alternative, she said, “Fine,” then headed toward the door.
She waited for him to step outside so she could lock up. Before she could flee to her little Honda, he stepped into her path.
“Promise me you won’t go anywhere tonight.”
“I’m just going home.” She pushed past him so he couldn’t see the tears building and threatening to spill down her cheeks.
When she sank into the driver’s seat of her car, she had to bite her lip to keep it from trembling. She blinked hard to clear her eyes, swiping at an errant tear. She couldn’t start crying or she might never stop.
She started the car and began the short drive to her house, the house she’d grown up in, where the three Mehler siblings had done homework and had parties and chased their shepherd mix, Trigger, trying to lasso him as if he was a wild horse.
“Oh, Sammi,” she said, choking on the words.
A glance in her rearview mirror revealed that Simon was following her, making sure she didn’t hightail it straight to Dallas. She gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles popped. Ironic that he was the one concerned about her lying.
She pulled into her driveway and walked inside without even looking in his direction. As soon as she closed the door and turned on the light, she heard him drive away.
And then all the memories filling the house rushed her. Their mom making strudel in the kitchen, their dad watching UT football games in the living room, Carter and Simon snickering about whatever boys snicker about, Sammi and her playing one on one in the driveway.
Sammi talking on the phone with friends.
Sammi getting ready for her prom date with Brad Fisher.
Sammi packing to leave for college.
Keri clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle a cry