‘But, Liv—’
‘And the one about the missed holidays is true. In the seven years since our honeymoon, we’ve managed a weekend trip to Blackpool to watch Rachel and Denise dance at the Winter Gardens, and a flying visit to Edinburgh to see his brother, Dan, get married. But, if I recall correctly, even on that occasion I insisted we caught the first flight back to London so we could be at our desks at the crack of dawn on Monday morning. In fact—’ she loathed the squirm of guilt that wriggled through her abdomen ‘—I have to confess that I actually popped into the office on the way back from Heathrow.’
‘Olivia—’
‘And Nathan has tried to talk to me about starting a family. That one’s true, too. It’s just I’m not ready to give up on my career for a pile of dirty laundry and cracked nipples. Miles would almost certainly muscle in on my caseload and he’d ruin everything I’ve been building these last few years with his attitude of bulldog rather than guide dog! I can’t give it all up to swan off and have a family. I just can’t!’
‘Life doesn’t end when you have kids, you know.’ Katrina smiled, sweeping her long mahogany hair over her shoulder, her eyes softening at the mention of children.
But Olivia had all the evidence of the impact of motherhood right in front of her eyes. Katrina possessed a first-class honours degree in law from Durham University, Olivia’s own college where she had only managed a 2:1. In fact, if Olivia were brutally honest with herself – and what better time than now – she would have to admit that Katrina was a better lawyer than she was. Nevertheless, her friend was content with her position as paralegal at Edwards & Co in return for flexible, part-time hours so she could put her expanding family’s needs first. ‘Date nights, not late nights’ was Katrina’s mantra.
‘Nathan is ambitious, too,’ insisted Katrina, coming to sit next to Olivia on the couch. ‘Wasn’t he in Paris for a month before his birthday, and isn’t he about to start a six-month secondment to Singapore next week?’
Olivia acknowledged the veracity of Katrina’s argument but didn’t mention the qualifying mitigation that Nathan had pleaded with her to fly over to Paris for a pre-Christmas weekend whilst he was there, all expenses paid. The ‘City of Romance’ held a special place in both their hearts as the French capital was where they’d honeymooned, and yet despite this, Olivia had been unable to drag herself away from her precious clients, or her volunteer work at the local homeless shelter at their busiest time of the year.
However, she knew it was her refusal to contemplate a sabbatical from work to travel with him to Singapore that had provided Nathan with the impetus to end their marriage – the first step of which she held in her ice-cold hands. She cringed as she recalled the disappointment and hurt that she’d seen etched on his handsome features as he had begged her to start the new year by seizing the opportunity to mend their flagging relationship.
‘How can he expect me to ditch my career and go chasing after him halfway around the world?’ she pleaded, twirling a strand of her toffee-coloured hair absent-mindedly around her fingertip, but she could see from Katrina’s hesitancy that her chosen line of advocacy was weak.
‘He only wanted you to take a couple of weeks off, help him to settle in, spend some quality time together – not resign your partnership at Edwards & Co.’
‘But my clients depend on me!’
‘Your clients would’ve managed without you, Liv. Miles might be a pain in the butt and profess a different approach to marriage breakdown than you, but he’s a good enough lawyer.’
‘But I loathe the way Miles and Ralph Carlton do business, racking up the acrimony with twisted truths and spurious allegations.’ She brandished the envelope in her hand as evidence. ‘Inciting the parties to fight over their pepper pots and garden gnomes so that their legal fees are exorbitant and the money cascades into the lawyers’ coffers.’
Olivia knew that the majority of her clients were involuntary refugees from the countless matrimonial conflicts waging across London and the Home Counties. They chose to consult her because she took an interest in their emotional wellbeing as well as the paperwork. She listened to their grievances, smoothed over the thorny issues of contact with the children and dividing the joint assets, offered pragmatic solutions as well as the astute application of legal principles. An involuntary smile twitched her lips as she recalled the ridiculously childish correspondence she had been forced to discuss only yesterday with Martha Grainger, the CEO of an ethical jewellery company, when Ralph’s client, Martha’s ex-husband, had demanded shared access to their allotment of chickens.
Would she and Nathan descend into the quagmire of such pettiness?
Her emotions crashed again. It was the new year, a time for looking forward and making resolutions, and she was getting divorced! All the sadness, the verbal spats, the possessiveness, the obstructiveness and the squabbling that she dealt with on a daily basis would be lurking for her own indulgence as the dissolution of her marriage travelled through the divorce court.
Then an added horror poked its nose above the parapet. Was Nathan involved with someone else? She shoved that pernicious thought deep into the crevices of her mind. If Nathan was anything at all, he was an honest and straightforward guy, favouring the communication of difficult issues in a balanced, non-confrontational way, but he had been pushing against an immoveable concrete barrier the previous year when wanting to talk seriously about their future. Whenever they were at home together in their pristine apartment overlooking the River Thames, she was usually so exhausted that any conversation beyond what was for dinner was too taxing to contemplate. No, she knew Nathan would not be dating anyone else.
There would be no vitriol or salacious accusations for the Fitzgeralds. Whilst she was mortified at the way the divorce papers had been delivered, and revolted at his choice of legal representative, after the initial shock and disbelief had dissipated, she had to admit the commencement of the divorce process had not come as a surprise. If there was ever a good time to end a marriage, then this was it: a new year, a fresh start, and whilst Nathan was away in Singapore – leaving her alone in London to sort out their apartment without the added awkwardness of living together under the same roof.
A mantle of loneliness draped its folds around her body and settled heavily across her shoulders. The delivery of that simple brown envelope meant her destiny was now shrouded in a veil of ambiguity.
‘You’re due loads of leave, Liv. Why don’t you take a trip to see your parents in Yorkshire?’
‘I can’t go to Yorkshire, Kat.’
Olivia pushed herself out of the depths of the sofa, straightened her charcoal-grey pencil skirt and strode over to her desk. She shoved the offending documents into her bottom drawer and turned to look out of the window. From the twelfth floor, the view over the angular rooftops of the City of London was awe-inspiring but one which she seldom noticed, much less appreciated. A shaft of early January sunshine had the audacity to bathe the room with its wintry light, and she managed a brittle smile at the irony – surely there should be a cacophonous thunderstorm raging and rain lashing against the windowpanes?
Except this wasn’t a nightmare, or a horror film; it was reality and she had to deal with it.
‘I suppose I’d better inform Henry of my impending singlehood.’
‘I’m extremely saddened to hear your news, Olivia. Nathan is not only an intelligent and competent corporate lawyer but a decent, considerate man. Jean and I were delighted when we heard he was being promoted to Lead Counsel at Delmatrix Pharmaceuticals at their Singapore