Knox picked up on his hesitation. “And?” he prompted.
Ah, to hell with it. Her pregnancy affected his life, too, and Knox wasn’t the kind of man to spread gossip. Still, Thorne glanced around to make sure no one was nearby to overhear his next words. “And she’s, uh, she’s pregnant,” he said, keeping his voice low.
Knox’s eyebrows shot up. “By the way you’re acting, can I assume the baby is yours?”
Thorne nodded. “I think so.”
“You think so? You mean you don’t know for sure?”
Thorne looked down, resisting the temptation to scuff the toe of his boot on the shiny linoleum floor. “We haven’t had a chance to talk yet.”
Knox leaned back against the wall, blowing out his breath in a sigh. “Well. That will be some conversation.”
Thorne fell into place beside his brother with a small laugh. “Yeah.”
Knox was silent a moment. Then he leaned over and bumped Thorne’s shoulder with his own. “Don’t you know how birth control works?”
“We used a condom.” Thorne felt his face heat and knew he was blushing. “I still have that box you bought me.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Knox turned to face him, incredulity shining in his bright blue eyes. “I gave you that box when you were still in high school! Do you mean to tell me you haven’t used them all yet?”
“No.” Thorne’s shoulders hunched and he looked down again, searching for an escape from this conversation. “Wendy Smithson broke up with me a few weeks after your little sex ed lesson, and I haven’t really dated a lot of women since then.”
“Yeah, but...”
“There were a hundred condoms in the box,” Thorne pointed out dryly. “I’m glad you think so highly of me, but I haven’t had a lot of success with women. I understand horses a lot better.”
“Who doesn’t?” Knox muttered. He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling the short light brown strands. “You know they have a shelf life, right? They’re not as reliable after the expiration date. The latex starts to break down.”
Thorne leveled an arch stare at his brother. “Do tell.”
Knox chuckled and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Fair enough. I suppose congratulations are in order, then?”
“I...” Thorne trailed off, wondering how he should respond. In truth, he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about the news. He’d gone from an initial sense of shock to fear over what Livia might do to Maggie or the baby. He hadn’t really considered what having a baby actually meant, and all the ways in which his life was going to change. Having children was something he’d thought was years down the line. To be faced with the prospect now was a bit unsettling, and to be honest, it was still too soon for him to know what to think.
Knox lifted one eyebrow, taking in his reaction. “Still in shock?”
Thorne nodded. It was easier than explaining everything, and it was close to the truth.
“I can relate,” his brother said, offering a sympathetic smile.
Several months ago, Knox had reunited with his old high school love, Allison, and learned that her son, Cody, was his. At the time, Thorne hadn’t wanted to pry into his brother’s personal life, especially after the boy was kidnapped. But now, faced with his own paternity surprise, Thorne needed some advice.
“How did it work for you?” he asked bluntly. “I mean, how did you come to terms with learning about Cody?”
Knox scratched the side of his jaw, his expression turning thoughtful. “It was different for me,” he said. “I already knew about Cody, I just didn’t know I was his father. I realized it as soon as I saw him, though. Everything just kind of clicked into place.”
“Yeah, but didn’t you worry about how your life was going to change? How different things would be now that you have a child?”
“Of course I did. And let me tell you, everything does change once you have a kid. There’s really no way to prepare for that—it’s just something you have to accept. It’s kind of like trying to swim against the current. You can struggle and fight to stay where you are and burn up all your energy for nothing. Or you can relax and let yourself be carried into your new life.” He shook his head with a rueful laugh. “I’m terrible at metaphors, but hopefully you get the idea.”
“I don’t know if I can be that Zen about it,” Thorne said. He was a planner by nature and he liked routine. Some might call his life boring, but it served him well with the horses—his methodical, careful actions engendered their trust, which was a gift he never took for granted.
Knox tilted his head to the side, his gaze bright with understanding. “It’ll come,” he said quietly. “Besides, you have months to adjust to the idea of being a father.”
“That’s true,” Thorne allowed. Hopefully it was enough time to figure things out.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to make a great dad.”
Thorne closed his eyes, absorbing Knox’s words. It meant a lot to know that the brother he looked up to thought he could do this job. Maybe he could borrow his confidence until he found his own.
“I hope you’re right,” he whispered.
“I am. Now, let’s go check on your girl.”
Thorne opened his mouth to correct Knox, but thought better of it. Maggie wasn’t his girl, not anymore. His actions had seen to that. But now that she and his unborn child were in danger, would she let him back into her life?
* * *
One of the overhead lights was about to burn out.
It flickered randomly, alternately dimming and flaring bright, humming faintly in the otherwise quiet room. Maggie hadn’t noticed it before, but now that Dr. Jenkins had left and she was alone—
No, she thought. I’m not alone. Not really.
She placed her palm flat on her abdomen, right between her hip bones. Over her baby.
Baby. She marveled at the word, hardly daring to believe it. Was it really true?
Of course it was, she thought. Dr. Jenkins wouldn’t lie. Not about something like that. She closed her eyes, picturing the older man’s face as he’d told her the news. You’re pregnant. He’d said the words so casually, as if he spoke them every day. Perhaps he did. But to Maggie, those two little words did more than just explain her recent fatigue and nausea. They signified a miracle had taken place, marking a transformation she’d never thought she would experience.
She hadn’t really given the idea of children much thought, until her doctor had told her that due to her endometriosis she likely wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. The painful condition that had plagued her since the onset of puberty had damaged her body, leaving swaths of scar tissue in its wake.
“Your fallopian tubes are almost completely blocked,” Dr. Owens had said, her voice calm and kind as she broke the news. She pointed to two thin lines on the diagram she held, the tip of her pen leaving little blue dots against the pink of the illustration. “It’s a delicate area to begin with, and because of the chronic inflammation, I’m afraid it’s been damaged beyond repair. I’m so sorry.”
It had taken a while for the news to sink in. Maggie had been nineteen at the time, still at a stage in her life where the idea of children was more scary than appealing. But as the years had ticked by, a sadness tinged with anger had filled her.