‘You ever think it time to let that go, mate?’ One of Jock’s eyebrows lifted nonchalantly, as if he didn’t know the boundaries he was stepping over. But he did, and wasn’t afraid to show it.
Heat hit Sam’s cheeks as he snapped, ‘Knock it off, Jock. You know the story. Nothing’s changed.’ Anger tightened his gut. He would never let it go. He didn’t deserve happiness when William had died because of him.
Jock started to say something and Sam was instantly defensive, cutting him off. ‘Don’t go there,’ he repeated, the warning loud and harsh in his voice. Back in New Zealand there was a woman hurting because of her fiancé’s death, a lovely woman who’d never have William’s children or share her life with the man she loved.
But across the room his pal merely shrugged as if this wasn’t important. ‘No problem. So where did you know Captain Hunter?’
‘Madison. We weren’t friends, just attended the same school. But there was no not knowing who she was.’ Sam dragged his hand over his face. Maddy’s career moves had been unbelievably similar to his. ‘And don’t even say we should play catch up on people we might both have known at school. I’m not interested so I’m staying out of her way as much as possible for the time I’ve got left here.’ As the words were spilling regret flicked through his jaded psyche. He wanted to spend time with her despite the restrictions he’d imposed upon himself. But he’d stay away. One week wasn’t too long to hold out on this strange need to touch base with her sneaking through him. One week.
‘You seen the roster for tomorrow’s patrol?’ There was a mischievous sparkle in Jock’s eyes that didn’t bode well for his vow to stay clear of trouble.
Dread he didn’t understand floored him. One look at the notice board partially explained. ‘Swap with me.’ Maddy had problems. He’d seen them in her eyes, in that fear, and for him to get involved, maybe help her, would endanger both of them. Ultimately he’d let her down, one way or another. He did that to people who mattered to him. Never again. ‘Please,’ he grunted. Not quite begging, but damned close.
‘No can do. I’m rostered to take my crew into town and check out the hot spots there.’
‘So swap.’
‘Nope.’ Jock shook his craggy head. ‘Captain Hunter’s all yours.’
Sam’s crew would be patrolling beyond the town’s perimeters. ‘That sucks. She’d better be up to scratch,’ was all he could come up with, though he didn’t understand his concerns. Neither did he understand why his fingertips tingled and his groin ached just thinking about her.
Like he was eighteen all over again, working hard to be Mr Popularity at school, to show it didn’t matter he was being raised by a family that was unrelated to him because his own had left him. A wonderful, kind and caring family, but not his.
Jock clapped a hand on his shoulder. ‘These next few days could prove interesting. Time I witnessed you being brought to your knees over a woman.’
‘You going to let up on this any time soon?’ The guy knew what had gone down in Sam’s past so why all this bull dust?
A low cry came from the treatment room, cutting through his gloom. He raised an eyebrow at Jock. ‘One of ours?’
Jock shook his head. ‘That’s the mother of a three-year-old boy with five rotten teeth and inflamed gums. They were brought in while you were out filling the gas tanks.’
So he hadn’t been texting. ‘You never mentioned them when I came back.’ Or when he’d started out to welcome Madison.
Jock shrugged. ‘You want to swap anything, you can take this one for me.’
‘Where are you up to with the boy?’ Sam held out a hand for the notes being extended in his direction.
‘Waiting on bloods before putting him out so as we can extract what’s left of his teeth.’ Jock fidgeted with other files on his table. Everyone knew he hated working with children, found it too stressful since losing a child in an emergency operation under extreme conditions in Afghanistan two years ago. He’d been on a hiding to nothing before he’d even picked up the scalpel but no one had been able to make him see that then or afterwards.
Sam could’ve asked to change places on patrol in return for taking over the boy’s case and Jock probably would’ve obliged but, damn it, he wouldn’t do that to his pal. All right, Jock was a pal, was getting closer all the time, but not so close Sam would hurt him. Good to have him at his back, though.
‘Would you look at that?’ Jock’s eyes were so wide he appeared blinded by bright lights.
Sam didn’t have to turn in the direction his mate was staring to know Maddy had entered the room, way earlier than he’d expected. ‘She’s quite something, isn’t she?’
‘Can see why you were mooning at the window.’
‘I wasn’t mooning.’
Jock’s head bobbed like a balloon on the water. ‘You sure you don’t want to stay on for the next six months?’ he cracked.
Sam laughed, if that’s what the strangled sound that burst from his mouth was. Bitter, dry and full of despair. ‘I’m no good for her.’ But he had to face up to her—now and again and again over the coming days—without becoming mesmerised by her. He turned to nod abruptly at Madison. ‘That was quick.’ Some colour had returned to her cheeks, but the exhaustion remained.
‘The shower was cold.’ Her shrug was defensive.
‘That happens around here.’ Relief softened him. Her fear had backed off. He doubted it was gone, but right now she wasn’t being crippled by it. Wariness now met his gaze. Was she worried he’d told everyone she’d freaked out over a dust cloud? Not a chance. ‘Cold water’s just another thing to get used to. Come and meet the crew. Jock, Madison Hunter.’
Jock was on his feet in an instant, his hand extended in greeting. ‘Hey, great to have you on board. Sam says you two know each other from school.’
Her mouth twisted into something resembling a smile. Not her old full-on, love-me-or-get-out-of-my-space smile, but something softer and more cautious that inexplicably settled over Sam’s heart, loosened some of the tension he wore twenty-four seven. She said, ‘That’s an exaggeration.’ She might’ve been talking to Jock but those weary eyes were on him. ‘I didn’t play rugby and Sam wasn’t into debating.’
‘You still do that? Belong to a debating team, I mean.’ Damned if he could turn away. It felt as though he was falling into a pit, a deep one filled with the scent of home, the warmth of people he’d grown up with, the lure of a future he’d denied himself too long. And would continue to deny himself. But he would not hide from Madison for the next week. Decision made, he closed the gap between them. ‘You used to be very good.’
‘At arguing a point?’ Her mouth softened. ‘I still argue about most things, but no longer under the guise of representing a team.’
‘You sure Sam wasn’t in your team?’ Jock filled the sudden silence developing between Madison and Sam and halting the prickly sensation tripping down Sam’s spine. ‘He’s always disputing everything around here.’
‘Really?’ Those brown eyes widened, lightened into the colour of his favourite milk chocolate. ‘So you know better than the army?’ she teased.
‘Don’t tell the commander.’ He grinned.
‘As if he doesn’t know,’ Jock quipped, before heading towards the room where his young patient waited.
‘I said I’d take that case,’ Sam called after him. He needed to get out of here anyway. ‘You give Maddy the rundown on how the clinic works.’
‘No, you do that.’ Damn the guy but he’d shut the door on anything else Sam had to say.
‘What