“You’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m being honest. I’m nearly forty-two, Mom, and I’m struggling. It’s my fault—I get that. I should have finished college. I should have gone to work when Becca started school, but I didn’t. I’m doing the best I can with the choices I made.” She squared her shoulders. “I didn’t have time to make pasta. I bought some from the store. You’re going to have to deal with that.”
Bunny glared at her, then turned on her heel and marched out of the room. It was only then Harper saw her daughter and Jazz standing in the doorway.
“Your grandmother thinks I should layer more linens when I set the table.”
Becca rubbed Jazz’s head. “Going crossways? I can see how that would be pretty. You’re not going to do it, are you?”
“No.”
Becca smiled. “Mom, store-bought pasta is okay with me. The same with bread and cookies and anything else you don’t want to make. I’ve had it all before at my friends’ houses and it’s not horrible.”
“Thank you. I knew I couldn’t trust those other mothers. They always said they were feeding you homemade but they were lying.”
Becca giggled. Harper allowed herself to smile.
“Grandma loves the drama,” Becca told her. “It makes her feel special.”
An unexpected insight. “Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome.” Her daughter sighed. “Thor ate the raw chicken.”
“What?”
Becca grinned. “I’m kidding, Mom.”
Harper pressed her hand to her chest. “Don’t do that. I’m getting old and I could very possibly have a heart condition.”
* * *
Becca tried to summon some enthusiasm as she lay sprawled on the comfortable sofa. She had a feeling that Lucas hadn’t been kidding about her keeping up her grades in exchange for him helping her get in her driving hours. She was doing okay in English, Spanish and geometry. It was European History where she was getting Cs. History was so boring. The whole second half of the class focused on World War II, which was, like, a million years ago. Why did anyone care about that kind of stuff?
“You’re not listening,” Jordan complained.
“I was thinking about the homework I have to do. I need to write a paper for European History and we have that chem test next week. I can’t believe how much math there is in that class.”
“I know. I thought we’d be doing more fun stuff in the lab, but nooo. There’s equations.” Jordan flipped her long hair over her shoulder. “I wonder when Nathan will get here. He had a meeting after swim practice. You know he got a scholarship to UCLA to play water polo, right?”
“Uh-huh.” No point in mentioning that Jordan had already told her eight times. Yes, Nathan was a water polo god and the world stood in awe of his talent.
Which was something she could have joked about, but not anymore. Jordan was convinced that Becca couldn’t get past her jealousy when it came to her friend’s new sex life, and Becca couldn’t figure out how to convince her otherwise. Possibly because she really didn’t know how she felt.
Yes, she would like a boyfriend, someone who thought she was special, but sex? There was so much going on already, and to be honest, the thought of it was both exciting and scary. Most of the time, though, scary won.
There was a knock at the front door. Jordan flew across the family room to the foyer and disappeared from view. Becca sat up, uneasy at the thought of reclining with Nathan around. Not that she could say why, but sometimes he made her uncomfortable.
She told herself he wasn’t the problem, she was. Maybe Jordan was right and she was jealous of the whole sex thing, although she really didn’t think it was that.
She heard the happy couple murmur something. They stepped into view as Nathan pulled Jordan close and kissed her like they were halfway to doing it right there.
Becca looked away, but not before she saw Nathan’s hand settle on her friend’s ass. He squeezed really hard. Becca tried not to shudder. Whatever they were doing, it should be, you know, special, or at least in private.
She unzipped her backpack and pretended to be looking for something as the kiss went on and on. When they finally drew apart, she looked up. Nathan, six feet two inches of blond, blue-eyed handsomeness, winked at her.
“Hey, Becca.”
“Hey.”
Jordan wrapped her arms around Nathan’s narrow waist for a second, then jumped back. “Okay, I’m going to go upstairs and put on more lip gloss. Becca, get out some snacks from the freezer and put them in the oven. I’ll be right back.”
Becca got up and walked into the kitchen. The giant Sub-Zero refrigerator nearly filled one wall. The freezer was filled with all kinds of prepared foods—mostly from Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s, but still. Becca’s grandmother would have a fit if she ever saw them.
She reviewed the selection, picking mini quiches that were always good. She set the temperature on the oven, then put the quiches on a cookie sheet. In the refrigerator she found prepared ranch dip and a plate of cut-up vegetables. There were chips in the pantry.
Nathan leaned against the bar-height counter and watched her work. “You know your way around Jordan’s kitchen,” he said.
“We’ve been friends a long time and I’m here a lot. Her mom always makes sure there’s plenty of food for us.”
She had the need to keep moving, although she couldn’t say why. She’d been in the same room with Nathan dozens of times. He was perfectly fine. In fact, he mostly ignored her, which sometimes she preferred. But today he seemed to be watching her.
“Jordan tell you about Mexico?” he asked.
“That you went with her family?”
He moved toward her. “No, Becca. The other part.”
Somehow she found herself backed against a corner of the counter. Nathan stood in front of her and there was nowhere to move. He put his hands on her waist and leaned close. For one horrifying second, she thought he was going to kiss her, but instead he whispered, “I can do that for you, too, if you want.”
He smelled faintly of chlorine and too much cologne and she didn’t like the way his fingers squeezed ever so slightly.
“I d-don’t know what that means,” she whispered, wishing he would move back and give her more room.
He kissed the side of her neck. “The virgin thing. I’m good with virgins. I take things slow and easy. You’ll like it.”
She shoved him hard and glared at him. “What are you talking about? You didn’t just say that. Jordan’s your girlfriend. You’re supposed to be in love with her.”
“I told her I loved her,” he said with a shrug. “There’s a difference.”
What? That didn’t make any—She felt her eyes widen. “You lied? You lied to get her to sleep with you? That’s disgusting.”
“Whatever gets the job done. So what about you?”
He started toward her again. She had no idea what he was going to do, but she was sure she didn’t want any part of it. She shoved him again,