If she’d taken out a knife and stabbed him in the heart, it would have stung less. Gideon closed the door carefully behind her, trying to maintain his control. It didn’t matter how honest she thought he was, he wouldn’t agree to take her to bed. He couldn’t. “This won’t work if you’re going to jump down my throat every time I say something. I said you look fine. You do. I didn’t tell you to dress for seduction, Lucy. I said to get your ass over here so we can talk. That—” he motioned at her clothes “—is perfectly adequate for a conversation between two friends.”
“Right. Okay. I’m sorry. I’m nervous.” She pulled at her shirt, which caused it to drop another inch down her arm.
Gideon had never found shoulders particularly provocative before but he wanted to drag his mouth over the line of her collarbone. Keep it together, asshole. He cleared his throat and looked away. “You don’t need lessons, Lucy. Not from me. Not from anyone. You’re beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you in his bed.”
“If you don’t want to teach me, that’s fine. I did say that this morning.” She wandered farther into his apartment and circled the couch he’d bought six months ago. It was slate gray with dark blue accents, and the saleswoman had insisted it would pull the room together in a way he’d love. He was still waiting to love it. Lucy picked up one of the ridiculous blue throw pillows and hugged it to her chest. “I’m not fishing for a compliment, by the way, but thank you. Though, beauty only goes so far. Since you haven’t... We haven’t...” She huffed out a breath. “Can I be perfectly frank?”
“You weren’t before now?” If she was franker, she might actually kill him.
“Jeff might be a cheating bastard, but that doesn’t change the fact that even before he started sleeping around, he was never...satisfied. Since he obviously found that satisfaction with those other women, it’s impossible to blame the entire problem on him.”
Gideon watched her pick at the tassels on the pillow while he dissected what she’d just said.
“You’ve been with other men since him.”
“No.” She still wouldn’t look up. “I almost did once. But I kept hearing his voice in my head with those nasty little comments that he always wrote off as a joke and I just couldn’t. I know that’s pathetic, but after a while, the risk of finding out that Jeff was really right all along wasn’t worth the potential pleasure. So I focused on work instead of dating—and now here we are.”
Gideon wished he could go back in time and deliver a few more punches to Jeff’s perfect face. He’d known things weren’t perfect with Jeff and Lucy, but he hadn’t realized just how much of a dick his friend had been. “He’s a piece of shit.”
“I’m not arguing that, believe me.” She gave a faint smile. “Thank you again for saving me from marrying him. I don’t know if I ever said it before, but it couldn’t have been easy to say something. You two had been friends for so long.”
Gideon scrubbed a hand over his face. He read people for a living—both his clients and the people he found to fill the open positions. He was damn good at it, too. That skill made him the best in the business and ensured that he almost always got the secondary bonus for the position still being filled for a year after the initial contract.
Every instinct he had was insisting that Lucy’s sheepish smile covered up a soul wound. If he was a good man, he’d let someone else help her heal from that—someone who’d be there for the long term. Likely that theoretical husband he was supposed to find her. But Gideon wasn’t a good man.
He didn’t want it to be anyone else.
He wanted it to be him.
“Sit down.”
She dropped onto the couch, still clinging to the pillow. “Okay.”
There wasn’t a convenient playbook for how to go about this, but they did need to have a conversation before it went any further. “I will give you...lessons. On two conditions.”
“Agreed.”
He shot her a look. “Hear the conditions first and then decide if you’re good with them. First—you communicate with me. You like something? Tell me. You aren’t into it? You need to speak up. You fake anything and we call the whole thing off. I can’t help you if you aren’t honest with both yourself and me.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Fine. I’m an adult. I can talk about sex.”
He didn’t comment on the fact she seemed to be trying to convince herself. The confidence and ice queen bit she’d played in the office was nowhere to be seen now, which made him wonder who was the real Lucy—the cold and professional lawyer or the unsure woman sitting in front of him now.
Gideon leaned forward. “Second condition is that you’re not with anyone else for the duration.”
“Why?” She held up a hand. “I have no intention of being with anyone else, but I’m curious.”
“It’s respect.” Liar. It’s jealousy. He smothered the snide little voice and kept his tone even. “We’re exclusive—both of us—until the expiration date.”
“Exclusive.” She said the word as if tasting it. “When’s the expiration date?”
Never. Fuck, he was already in over his head and sinking fast and he hadn’t even touched her. “When you decide on a candidate for a husband, we end it.”
Lucy nodded. “That seems reasonable. Should we start now?” She reached for her shirt.
“Holy fuck, slow down.” He made an effort to lower his voice and held out a hand. “You want lessons? We start with the basics. Come here.”
She reluctantly let go of the pillow and rose to cross over to his chair. Lucy eyed his hand, but ultimately placed hers in it. Gideon drew her down slowly, giving her plenty of time to see where things were going. She obliged him by climbing into his lap, though she held herself so stiffly she felt downright brittle.
He kept hold of her hand and set his other on her hip. It would have been innocent if not for the fact that she was straddling him and his cock had not gotten the memo about moving slow.
She shifted, her eyes going wide. “Ah...”
“Are you uncomfortable?” He spoke before she could think too hard.
“No...” She bit her lip. “Right. Honesty. Okay, yes, this feels weird. Awkward. I don’t know where to put my hands and I can feel you, and it’s making me nervous.”
She was right. It was awkward as fuck. But Gideon wasn’t going to throw her off the deep end on the first night, no matter how surreal this whole thing was. She trusted him to take care of her and he’d do whatever it took to be worthy of that trust. Do whatever it took to keep her from changing her mind. He kept his voice low so as not to startle her. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
“Okay.” She licked her lips and carefully tilted forward.
Gideon moved his hand from her hip to cup her jaw, guiding her down as he leaned up to brush his mouth against hers. She smelled of citrus and he had to fight to keep a growl internal. Nice and easy. He nipped her bottom lip and then soothed it with his tongue. She placed her hands on his biceps and relaxed against him, bit by bit. Gideon took it slow. He kissed her, keeping it light, until she shifted restlessly against him.
Then, and only then, did he slip his tongue into her mouth.
His first taste of Lucy went straight to his head. He used his hand on her jaw to angle her to allow him deeper and stroked his tongue against hers. Slow and steady was the name of the game.
Lucy whimpered and went soft against him. Her body melded to his, her breasts