Austin pushed back from his desk and rubbed blurry eyes, thinking a few hours of shut-eye was a good idea considering how punchy he was getting. Between a record number of calves being born this winter and a bout of some kind of sickness causing him to quarantine half a dozen of them now, Austin had been working overtime for months. After learning his parents’ deaths were being investigated as murders, he wasn’t sleeping, either.
The news about Maria he’d received from Tommy earlier had been as unexpected as a sucker punch in broad daylight. His brain refused to process it, like it somehow wouldn’t exist if he kept it at arm’s length. So far, the only emotion he could strongly identify when he allowed it to surface was anger.
Adding to his sour mood was the fact that there was constant wedding/baby/adoption planning going on at the ranch. All five of his brothers had newborns, newly adopted children and/or wedding plans in the works. He didn’t begrudge his brothers their happiness. In fact, he was over the moon for them and each was the happiest he’d ever seen. They’d found true love, fought for it, and had earned the reward of real partners in life and that was great. Personally, he was on the opposite end of the spectrum as divorce papers stared at him from the corner pile of paperwork on his desk and his wife made wedding plans with another man.
The papers had been sitting there for a while now. Austin had lost track of how many days. A dozen? More? The thought of signing them had proved harder than he’d expected, so he kept putting off the task. He should probably be glad to end that chapter of his life and move on, good riddance and all. Maria had made her decision clear and he wasn’t one to stand in her way.
That familiar mix of anger and heartache cut through his chest as he made a move to pick up the legal document. He stopped midreach. He’d been staring at the laptop so long that his eyes were practically crossed and every letter on the screen was a haze. Numbers ran together like highway signs at a hundred miles an hour, a blurry streak. His brain was toast. He wanted to be in the right mind-set before looking over those papers and make sure he had time to read the fine print.
On second thought, a signature could wait. A few more days wouldn’t make a difference in either of their lives. The annoying voice in the back of his mind said that wasn’t exactly true for Maria. Austin shoved the thought aside. The clock read half past eleven. He’d be up again at four thirty sharp, an unholy hour for a natural night owl like him. He needed a hot shower and a firm mattress. The news from Tommy about Maria had knocked Austin off balance and all he needed was a little rest to get his emotions in check. That little piece of him that had said it wasn’t over between them yet—that they still had a chance as long as they were still married—had been shattered all to hell. It wasn’t Tommy’s fault. He was trying to protect Austin from finding out through a different source. O’Briens were news. The story would be out soon enough. Anything to do with his family made headlines.
Austin picked up his cell that had been sitting on top of his desk and looked at the picture on his phone cover. He and Maria had been so happy, or so he’d believed. How could any of it have been real if she was willing to throw it away so easily? And for what? Because the pregnancy didn’t work out? Yes, it had been a difficult time for both of them. He’d retreated into himself and had shut down. He could be honest and admit that now. Maria had started spending longer hours on her caseload at the FBI. Then, a few weeks later when the doctor had cleared them to try again, she’d said that she reconsidered the timing of having children. The timing was right for her to go for the promotion into the Crimes Against Children program, saying it had been a job she’d always wanted. News to him, he’d thought. She’d pointed out that they were still young and had plenty of time to start their family. In hindsight, he should’ve picked up on the oversell.
Austin had figured that she was saying she needed a little more time to get over what had happened. So he gave her what she’d asked for, what he’d believed she needed: time and space.
Neither had worked out so well.
It had become easier to stay apart than to face each other and try to build a bridge to cover the space between them. He’d started spending more time in the barn and on the range. The divide between them became a cavern until she’d rented a loft apartment in the capital to be closer to work and then stopped coming home altogether.
A dull ache pounded Austin’s temples as if a dozen hammers were a marching band in his ears. Sleep. He needed a few hours of shut-eye before the day started over again. He’d been working so much lately that days and nights ran together and he lost track of the calendar. He’d rest come July when he got the healthy calves sold at auction. Right now, the sick calves deserved his attention.
“Let’s go, boy,” he said to Denali, who’d stopped whining and was settled into a pattern of steady breathing.
The Lab didn’t so much as hike an ear at the sound of Austin’s voice. A good cattle dog was worth three men. Denali did his own thing, which generally meant sleeping a lot. But he was good company and he’d been in the family fourteen years.
“Okay, old man,” Austin said, figuring he could keep the door to his office open so Denali could come and go as he pleased when he woke, like usual. The dog liked to roam around, stopping in to visit who he wanted each day.
Austin maintained his workplace in the horse barn to be closer to the men. His father had occupied the big office next door. Austin stopped in front of Dad’s office. The room was dark and empty now.
Since the murders, no one had claimed the big office as theirs, as though everyone realized there’d be no filling the boots of their father.
Austin took in a sharp breath.
“You stay here and rest,” Austin said to the snoring Lab, thinking that he sorely needed to get out and socialize again in the summer since he’d taken to talking to the family dog more than people. Of course, most sane people didn’t wake up before the sun.
Austin hopped onto the bench seat of the golf cart and headed east toward his home. The place had been constructed almost a decade ago. His had been the first built on the ranch because he’d always known he’d come back to work the land he loved after college. Yeah, Tommy was right, Austin had gone to a fancy school. And he needed every bit of his Ivy League education to carry the ranch into the next generation and beyond.
Winding down the path beside the flowing water of Bull Creek, Austin noticed how the water flowed through the land, always moving. He stopped the cart next to the creek, stepped out and listened to the rush of water.
His thoughts drifted back to Maria. Smart, beautiful, focused. She’d been everything he’d ever wanted in a relationship and so much more. That first year they’d stayed up long past a reasonable time every night talking. His mornings might’ve dragged the next day but he’d do it all over again the next because he wanted to be with her that much. Her good looks had attracted him. She was a classic brown-haired, brown-eyed beauty. But it was her intelligence that rocketed his attraction to a whole new dimension. And the sex...he didn’t even want to go there about how mind-blowing that had been. No doubt a product of the intensity of the emotions they felt for each other.
Austin stood over the water, watching it flow. He shook his head, wondering how he could’ve let their relationship slip through his fingers.
Back inside the cart, he let the word he’d been avoiding circulate through his thoughts...divorce.
It sat heavy on his chest as he stood in front of the locked door of his traditional ranch-style home, remembering that he’d left the key back at his office on top of the divorce papers.
Still half-asleep, Austin groaned at the noise waking him. The music needed to stop. Instead, Johnny Cash’s song “Ring of Fire” belted out louder. Austin was pretty sure his eyelids had been glued shut at some