‘I know how much you were looking forward to it and I feel really guilty about disappointing you,’ Ben said. ‘But my edits came back from the publisher yesterday and, even though they warned me, I can’t believe how many there are. I’m having to rewrite half a dozen chapters.’
Jodie sighed. ‘There’s still a few weeks before the Fair though. Maybe you’ll get through them quicker than you anticipate?’
‘Perhaps. I promise you if that happens we’ll jump on a plane and go. Even if it’s only for one day.’ He stood up. ‘Right, back to the typeface.’
‘I was hoping we might go for a walk together sometime today?’ Jodie said. ‘Or even out for lunch? Spend some time together – it is Sunday, supposedly a day of rest.’
She knew she sounded petulant but right now she didn’t care. She was fed up of spending so much time alone. And she was cross and upset about Ben cancelling the London trip. He didn’t seem to realise how important it was to her. As she stood up and went to clear the table Ben took her in his arms and hugged her. Jodie pretended not to hear his smothered sigh before he spoke.
‘Shall we have lunch in the village restaurant? But I warn you, I’ll have to work when we get back. And Jodie, I really am desperately sorry. I was dreading telling you about the Fair. That’s why I couldn’t tell you in front of everyone last night.’ He gave her a gentle kiss before saying, ‘You could go on your own if you wanted.’
‘I suppose I could,’ Jodie said. ‘Wouldn’t be the same without you though. I was looking forward to introducing you to more of my friends. Taking you to my favourite haunts.’
‘I promise we’ll do that soon,’ Ben said. ‘Go ring the restaurant and book a table for one-thirty. The number’s in the book. Give me a shout about one o’clock and I’ll have a quick shower before we leave.’
‘OK. I’ll take Tess for a walk this morning,’ Jodie said, feeling happier at the thought of at least spending some time with Ben.
An hour later, as she stood at the top of the hill behind the village, listening to the church bells tolling out across the valley, she thought about the new life she’d thrown herself into a few short months ago. A life she’d longed for. Falling in love with Ben had unleashed emotions and desires in her that she’d repressed for so long as she concentrated on her career, she’d forgotten they’d ever existed. Feelings of loving someone and being loved in return; wanting a family; needing to lead a less stressful life.
So why did she feel so unsettled at the moment? Had Tina been right when she’d tried to warn her? Tried to make her think more about whether leaping into marriage with Ben was the right thing to do?
As she’d flung herself into the excitement of loving Ben and planning the wedding, Jodie realised she hadn’t given enough – or any, really – serious thought to how her life would be as a married woman. Or how different life would be for her in a foreign country.
Watching the cars travelling along the main road through the village to pick up the main route up to the local ski resort, she realised she’d also failed to take into account her independent streak. Jacqueline had often told her, ‘You’re too independent for your own good, young lady.’
Had she been foolish when she’d assumed she and Ben would talk and make joint decisions about the things that affected them both? This past week alone, he’d arbitrarily taken two decisions without discussing things with her. First, he’d dismissed the cottage she liked, and now he’d cancelled the trip to the London Book Fair. Was it a French thing? Did all Frenchmen like to play the dominant husband? Although, to be fair, on both occasions he’d given her good reasons, and an alternative when he’d suggested she went to London anyway, on her own.
Maybe she should go on her own. She could stay in her old room at Tina’s so no need to worry about finding a hotel. A few days away, chatting to Tina and catching up with other friends; a day at the Book Fair, going to a show. Living life as she’d known it for so long. And then, when she got back here, she’d sort her life out. Make more of an effort to find some freelance work.
‘Come on, Tess,’ she called to the dog, who was happily inspecting some rabbit holes. ‘Let’s go home.’
She’d phone Tina when she got back, make the arrangements and tell Ben her decision over lunch.
It was gone ten o’clock Sunday morning before Maisie woke up. Initially confused as to where she was when she opened her eyes, a welcome feeling of relief flooded through her body as she remembered Tina and her kindness the evening before.
The food, the hot shower, this warm, comfortable bed – it had all been sheer bliss. The nightmare memories of the past couple of weeks would take time to fade but the deep sleep she’d fallen into last night was a step in the right direction. A tiny flame of optimism that everything would work out began to burn inside her. Tina hadn’t judged her, she’d simply offered help.
She could hear Tina now, moving around the flat, and just make out the sound of the radio turned down low. The omnibus edition of The Archers. Mum would be listening to that in the kitchen at home while she prepared the vegetables for lunch. Home. Mum. Maisie tried to push thoughts of home away. Time to think about them later. After she’d decided which of the generous offers Tina had made last night to accept. Leave or stay? And, in truth, after that last tearful scene at home, did she really have a choice?
Mum had been so cross with her when she’d told her she planned to follow John down to London.
‘Running after a boy never works,’ she’d said. She’d told her not to be so silly, that she was young, that she’d be better off getting out and making new friends, expanding her relationships before settling down.
‘How do you know who you want to be with if you don’t have anybody to compare them to? Besides, I’m worried we’ve pushed you into a relationship with John that’s too comfortable, too familiar, and too much what we as parents would like.’
When Maisie explained how she felt about John, how much she’d missed him since he’d been gone, and how excited she was about a new life in London with him, her mum had sighed. ‘Och, lass, you’d better go join him then. But remember there’s always a place here for you – never forget that,’ she’d added, giving Maisie a tight hug.
The thought of going back having made a success of life down here was infinitely preferable to having to go home and admit things hadn’t worked out. That she’d made a mistake. That John wasn’t the love of her life after all.
Maisie swung her legs out of bed and rummaged in the rucksack for the last of her clean clothes. Whichever offer she accepted, and she knew she had to decide one way or the other, she’d ask Tina if she could do a load of washing – she was in desperate need of some clean things.
‘Morning, Tina,’ she said, opening her bedroom door.
‘Hi. Coffee?’ Tina said. ‘And I thought maybe we’d have poached eggs on toast for breakfast?’
‘Sounds great. Can I help?’
Tina shook her head. ‘Kitchen’s so small there’s barely room for me. Sleep all right?’
Maisie perched on one of the tall stools by the breakfast bar. ‘It won’t surprise you to know I had the best night’s sleep in weeks. I can’t thank you enough for this and for last night. You were so kind.’
Tina pushed the cafetière and a mug towards her. ‘No worries. You look better than you did last night, which is a relief.’
‘The down-and-out look isn’t really me,’ Maisie said. ‘Not being able to shower and have clean clothes every day.’ She shuddered. ‘I’ve been thinking about your offer. The sensible thing