It didn’t help that she had developed a ridiculous schoolgirl crush on Aidan shortly after she started working with him. It didn’t matter though, because she would never do anything so stupid as to act on her feelings. Not only would it destroy their relationship and mark the end of the best job she’d ever had, but it would make her feel like the world’s biggest fool. Ellie had never been a fool.
She knew Aidan’s question was coming from a decent place inside him, and she had already decided to be completely honest with him if he forced the issue, so she repeated, “I said, I’m going to have a baby.”
“Next week?”
“Next week is when the process starts.”
“You can’t put it off an extra week?”
“No,” she said, fighting to maintain her calm. “I’m usually as regular as clockwork so once I get to Atlanta, I’ve allowed myself a three-day window during which I should start ovula—”
“Stop.” He held up his hand. “We’re venturing back into the dark realm of too much female information.”
“But you keep asking.”
“I just want to know why you have to do all this starting next week.”
“Because I want to have a baby and I’m not getting any younger.” She had no intention of telling him anything more than that.
“But—” He scratched his head, clearly confused. “You’re going to a sperm bank.”
“I prefer the term fertility clinic. But yes, that’s where I’m going.”
“But why?”
“Why?” she said, her voice rising as her serenity tottered on the edge of annoyance. “Seriously, Aidan? You want to know why I’m going to a sperm bank—I mean, fertility clinic? I’ll go out on a limb here and take a guess that you are aware of what happens in those places.”
He huffed impatiently. “Of course. But what I mean is, why don’t you just do it the old-fashioned way?”
“Oh,” she said slowly. “That.”
“Yeah.” He folded his arms across his chest. “That.”
“Well, it’s because…Hmm.” What was she supposed to tell him? The truth? Because the truth was that she would have preferred to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. With a man she loved, someone wonderful who wanted to live the rest of his life with her.
Recently there had been one man who’d expressed some interest in her. She had dated him for a few weeks, but as soon as Ellie brought up the subject of children and family, he’d made himself scarce. That was before they’d even had sex so she’d missed out on that, too. She just couldn’t get a break.
Even though there were plenty of opportunities to meet eligible men on the island, none of them ever seemed to want to take the next step. One problem was that most men came to Alleria to party-party-party. They weren’t interested in a relationship if it looked like it might last more than a week.
The other problem was that while Ellie knew men thought she was pretty enough, she also knew they found her a little intimidating. And even though she recognized the problem, she didn’t know what to do about it. It wasn’t that she had an overpowering personality. That would’ve been an easy fix. No, Ellie’s problem was that she was just too smart. She couldn’t help it. She seemed to have a photographic memory and she loved learning new things. She retained information and was cheerfully willing to share it with others any time a subject came up. Some people didn’t take that well.
And sadly, Ellie didn’t have a clue when to keep her mouth shut and let a guy live with the illusion that he was smarter than she was. Men were so odd.
These days, though, Ellie refused to allow that to bother her. Happily, Aidan and his brother appreciated how smart she was and she loved her job because of it. They accepted her and needed her, and that meant a lot more to Ellie than having a man in her life who might cause her to lose too much of herself.
But meanwhile, without a man in her life, there was no one who was willing to make a baby with her.
So after a lot of studying the pros and cons and debating it with herself, she had decided to use artificial insemination to achieve her goal of motherhood.
She was secure in her job and very well compensated. She also had an excellent benefits package, so the idea of raising her child on her own was a reasonable one. She was also lucky to have developed strong friendships with several women on the island, too, and knew they would always be around when she needed them. So she wasn’t worried. She and her baby would comprise the perfect little family she had always wanted. Now she just needed some time off to get the job done.
“Ellie, are you going to tell me why you can’t just do it the—”
“Yes, yes, the old-fashioned way.” She sniffed, straightened her shoulders and held her head high. “I don’t think it’s any of your business.”
“You’re probably right.” His lips twisted in a sardonic grin. “But you’ve already given me your ovulation schedule. I mean, why hold back the rest?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Ellie said. “Look, we both know that what I do in my free time is nobody’s business but my own.”
“Of course it is,” he said reasonably. “But you have to realize how concerned I am. As I’ve already said, I’m your friend as well as your employer, and this isn’t exactly a vacation you’re taking. You’re planning to go off to get pregnant. And then what happens? Then you’ll come back and work? For how long?”
“Until the baby’s born,” she said immediately. “At that point I’ll take maternity leave for three months and then I’ll be back at work.”
The resort had an excellent childcare facility so Ellie wasn’t worried about finding someone to care for her baby while she worked. That was another benefit of working for the Sutherland brothers.
“Three months.” Aidan pushed away from the desk and stood to pace the floor for a full minute. Finally he looked at her. “Okay, I’m not going to think about your being gone for three months. We’ll just deal with these upcoming three weeks.”
“That might be best,” she murmured.
“I can’t stand in the way of you going, but what will we do without you for three weeks? It might not sound like a lot of time to you, but we’ve never gone that long without you before. And right now we’re swamped with work and no one else is qualified to fill your shoes.”
She smiled because she’d already made a point of finding solutions to those particular problems, thanks to her best friend, Serena, the catering manager.
“Serena and her secretary have agreed to assist the sales force with the convention work. And my secretary will take care of making sure the day-to-day office work gets done. I’ll be available by phone if there are any questions.”
“Damn, Ellie.”
She stood and met him face-to-face. “Look, Aidan. I wouldn’t leave if there was a doctor on the island who specialized in fertilization. But there isn’t, so I’m going to Atlanta.”
“But what if you go through all this and it doesn’t…” He seemed to weigh his words and decided not to finish that sentence. Probably smart of him.
She finished the thought for him. “What if the procedure doesn’t work?” She’d considered that possibility, too. “I’ll try again in a few months.”
He gritted his teeth. “Okay, I understand what you want to do and it’s not like I have a say in your decision, but I still think you’re jumping the gun here. You’re so young. What