Even five years later, the memory of that impulsive and rejected proposal stung. Because even now he knew he wasn’t completely over his feelings for Paige, while she seemed to have moved on without so much as a backward glance in his direction.
The fact that she’d bought a house proved to him that she still wanted most of the same things they’d talked about. That she hadn’t let him get past the front door proved that he wasn’t a factor in any of her plans.
Which, of course, made him wonder if Alex Monroe was. Had she invited him in for coffee? Had he been given a tour of Paige’s house? Had he seen her bedroom? Spent the night in her bed?
Sutter scowled, acknowledging that those were questions he probably didn’t want to know the answers to—even the speculation was making him crazy.
He deliberately turned his thoughts to why she’d moved out of her parents’ house. Maybe she’d wanted to be closer to her job, although a couple of blocks hardly made a difference. In a town like Rust Creek Falls, commuting times were never a concern.
More likely she’d wanted her own space, more independence. Paige had always been close to her family, but she’d often chafed at their rules and restrictions. It was a common complaint of many teenagers, but she was a grown woman now, an incredibly beautiful woman living alone in a house that was probably just waiting for the children she’d always wanted.
He poured himself a glass of whiskey and swallowed it in a single gulp. The liquor burned a path down his throat and into his belly, but it didn’t touch the aching emptiness in his heart. So he poured himself a second drink and was considering a third when he realized what he was doing. He pushed the bottle aside and headed to bed.
It had been a lot of years since he’d drunk himself into a stupor over a woman, and even that hadn’t helped him forget either the pain or the loneliness. Of course, it had been Paige then, too, and he wasn’t going to go down that path again.
It was a decision he found himself questioning later. If he’d consumed enough alcohol to pass out drunk, maybe he wouldn’t have been able to dream. Because when he finally did fall asleep, his dreams were filled with images of Paige, past and present. Memories mingled with fantasy in an enticing montage that teased and tormented him through the night.
When he finally woke the next morning with his heart pounding and the sheets twisted around his body, he actually ached for her.
* * *
Teaching wasn’t an easy job at the best of times, and these were definitely not the best of times. There was so much going on in the town, so many families who had been displaced and so many demands on Paige’s time and attention that she sometimes didn’t know which direction to turn. As if all of that wasn’t enough, Sutter Traub had planted himself in the middle of everything by getting involved with his brother’s mayoral campaign and churning up a lot of feelings she’d thought were long dead—or at least deeply buried.
She walked around the long table that had been set up in her living-room-turned-classroom to check on the mock campaign posters her students were creating. Early on in her teaching career, she’d realized that kids learned more easily and maintained information more readily when they could relate the lessons to real life, so she’d talked about the recent flood during a unit on environmental studies and had worked the upcoming election into their discussion about governments.
The latter had certainly given her some insights into the political leanings of many local families, and though the class seemed fairly evenly divided between “Team Crawford” and “Team Traub,” she was optimistic that Collin would emerge victorious. But right now she tried to focus her thoughts not on the upcoming election but on the current lesson.
She really did love her job and looked forward to the start of every day, approaching each subject with equal enthusiasm. She had her own personal favorites, of course, but she tried not to let that bias show. She wanted her students to experience and enjoy everything. She loved being able to open their minds, to encourage their curiosity and nurture their creativity, and gloried in each and every one of their successes. And because she was so completely engaged with her students, she hurt when they were hurting.
And she knew that Ryder Traub was hurting. Sutter had been right about the fact that Dallas’s eldest son was having a hard time adjusting to his mother’s abandonment. He wasn’t acting out, as was often the case with children going through difficult transitions. Instead, it was as if he’d drawn into himself, disengaging from the other students and the activities in the classroom. He wasn’t uncooperative—he always did the work that was required of him—but Paige could tell that he was just going through the motions.
She tried to draw him out, but that wasn’t an easy task when she had sixteen other students to attend to. Not that they all came to class every day, which was another reason teaching in her home was a challenge. It was as if the parents figured it wasn’t an actual school, therefore, she couldn’t actually be teaching. And that only made it harder to impress the importance of every lesson upon her students.
When the day was over and the last student had gone, she realized she needed more markers and stickers to replenish her cupboard. Sometimes she would go to the specialty classroom resource store in Kalispell, but for everyday supplies she could usually find what she needed at Crawford’s General Store.
Unfortunately, she sometimes found more than she wanted, as was the situation when she realized it was Nate Crawford behind the counter instead of his sister.
She forced a smile as she emptied her basket. “Where’s Nina?” She wasn’t just making conversation but was genuinely concerned about the woman, who was nearing the end of her pregnancy.
“She had an appointment—” he automatically began to scan Paige’s purchases “—so I said I would cover the store. It gives me a chance to connect with the people of our town on a more personal basis.”
Which Paige interpreted to mean that any poor soul who wandered in for essential grocery items was likely getting a healthy dose of Nate’s campaign propaganda along with every loaf of bread and quart of milk. “It always helps the voters to know their candidates,” she agreed.
He totaled her order and she gave him her money.
He made change, but didn’t immediately pass it across the counter. “I feel as if I should warn you about something.”
“I’m sure that’s not necessary.”
“I know you have...a history...with Sutter Traub,” he continued anyway. “But your public declaration of allegiance could make you unpopular in this town.”
“I don’t need to be popular—I’m not running for office.” She picked up her bag and held out her hand for her change.
“No,” he agreed, finally giving her the money. “But maybe your new boyfriend needs to know that you’re running around with your ex.”
* * *
Paige knew that she’d done nothing wrong, that there was absolutely no reason for her to feel as if she had, but that knowledge didn’t succeed in alleviating her guilt. Because the truth was, the whole time she’d been with Sutter the night before, she hadn’t once thought about Alex—not until Sutter had specifically asked her about the other man.
She didn’t know if that said something about her relationship with the mill foreman or if it was simply a side effect of being near Sutter. She’d been dating Alex for a couple of months now and, after fifteen minutes in Sutter’s company, she’d barely remembered his name. It was embarrassing to admit, even if only to herself, and Alex certainly deserved better than to be an afterthought.
So when she got home, she surveyed the contents of her refrigerator