Returning to the administration building, she said, “Our physician has his offices here, and he’s on campus two days each week. You’ll need to see him for a brief exam. He checks each of our patients weekly, so he’s busy, but I think he’ll be available today.”
“What’s my next move? When will you tell me if I’ve been accepted?”
“Our advisory board meets tomorrow evening, so if you’ll come back or telephone midmorning two days from now, I’ll give you an answer. A client is assigned to a personal trainer, chosen according to the workload of the employee. If the trainer and patient aren’t compatible, we make another assignment.”
Connie accompanied Joseph to the reception room of Dr. Ron Alexander. Peggy McCane, the nurse, said the doctor could see him within the hour. Tall, lanky Peggy had been at the Center for over a year, and she was Connie’s jogging partner. Since her broken engagement two months ago, Connie no longer ran alone.
“I’ll leave you now, Joseph. You’re in good hands with Peggy and Dr. Alexander.”
Joseph shifted his cane to his left hand and shook hands with her. Candidly, he said, “I should warn you, Miss Harmon, I’m a cantankerous patient—you may want to take that into consideration during your staff conference.”
She returned his grasp, noting that his fingers were strong and capable, but quickly disengaged her hand, unprepared for the tingling sensation triggered by his touch. The more difficult Joseph was, the less likely she would be to succumb to his charm. If he compelled her admiration when he winced with pain at every step, she couldn’t imagine how attractive she’d find him when he was physically fit. When she’d once watched his rodeo exhibition, Connie had been impressed with the suppleness and grace of his body, and she’d never forgotten his superb performance. Yes, it would definitely be more beneficial to her peace of mind if Joseph was a disagreeable patient.
“That won’t make any difference. We don’t shy away from difficult cases—they present a challenge. We’re dedicated to meeting the needs of our patients at their level. Bye.”
With a wave of her hand, Connie sprinted down the hall to her office. She was next in line on the staff to take a new patient. Should she decline to work with Joseph? She had no doubt that he would demand all of her therapy skills before he achieved complete mobility, but that didn’t worry her. She’d never doubted her skill as a therapist, yet she did question her ability to deal with Joseph without becoming personally involved with him. She’d had no trouble in the past staying on an impersonal level with her patients. Would working with Joseph challenge her self-control?
After Joseph left the doctor’s office, he got into his pickup to return to the ranch. His troubled mind superceded his eagerness to get home, so instead of heading toward the interstate and a quick trip to the ranch, he turned northward on a narrow, winding road through the mountains. After several miles, he stopped at an observation point that provided an unobstructed view of Long’s Peak.
The encounter with Rose Nash had flooded his mind with memories that he wanted to forget. In spite of the suspicions of his brother-in-law and the police, he hadn’t killed Virginia, but had his actions driven his wife to her death? If he could rid himself of the guilty feeling that he’d indirectly caused her to die, he thought he could regain his physical health.
He’d fallen in love with Virginia at their first meeting. Their whirlwind courtship had soon led to a proposal, and he couldn’t believe his good fortune when she’d wanted to marry him.
They’d been deliriously happy for the first year, but Joseph had become disillusioned when he’d realized they had very little in common. His wife had detested his rural lifestyle, while he’d resented the money showered on Virginia by her parents—money that enabled her to spend winter months in Florida or California with the friends she’d had before they were married.
Joseph wasn’t good at pretense, and when his love dwindled, he could no longer treat Virginia with the affection she craved. When she’d wandered away, he’d done nothing to prevent it.
When his love for Virginia had been at its peak, he realized that his regard for God had sunk to its lowest ebb, and when he’d no longer loved her, he was still out of fellowship with God. Once the close relationship with his wife and with God was gone, he didn’t know how to regain either of them.
Joseph stepped out of the truck, and leaned against the stone barrier at the edge of the precipice. From his pocket, he took out a New Testament that a chaplain at the hospital had given him. When Joseph had complained that God seemed so far away, the chaplain had answered, “God hasn’t moved—you have,” and he’d quoted a verse from the writings of Solomon. “‘I know that everything God does will endure forever.’ Once you’ve trusted God for your daily provision and your eternal salvation, it’s a done deal. Your affections may wane, but God is always there—faithful and steadfast.”
Joseph turned to a Psalm that had once been meaningful to him. “Whom have I in heaven but You? And being with You, I desire nothing on earth.”
He bowed his head and longed for the day when he could regain the fellowship he’d once had with God.
The advisory board met the next night to consider several applicants. Files on each of them had been provided to board members in advance. Kim attended the meetings, not only as a voting member, but to keep records of the proceedings. They met in the reception room beside Connie’s office. Chaplain Eric Sadler, Dr. Alexander, Ray Blazer, Connie and Kim were permanent members of the board. Other staff members came periodically to report on the progress of their patients. Four out of five of the permanent members had to agree on applicants before they were accepted. Ever since Connie had broken her engagement to Ray, he was often obstinate during this decision making, especially if he thought Connie was particularly keen on accepting the individual.
Ray opposed Joseph’s application immediately. “The man is suspected of murdering his wife. His presence would be bad publicity for NLC.”
“If he’s in trouble, he probably needs our ministry more than many others,” Connie replied evenly.
“It’s my opinion,” Eric stated, “that the larger the problem, the greater our responsibility to deal with it. If Mr. Caldwell is innocent, he must be carrying a heavy emotional burden, in addition to his physical problems.”
Dr. Alexander, a middle-aged, tall, heavyset bachelor, nodded agreement. “I haven’t received his records yet, but I did talk to his surgeon, Dr. Melrose. He concludes that Mr. Caldwell’s mental anguish is partly responsible for the slow healing of his body, and that’s why he recommended NLC as the place for him. Dr. Melrose also believes in Caldwell’s innocence. I’m in favor of accepting his application.”
Joseph was accepted by a vote of four to one, with Ray dissenting. Connie was assigned to be his personal trainer.
When the meeting adjourned, Ray fell in step with Connie as she walked down the hallway. “I want to talk to you, Connie.”
“Go ahead,” she said.
“Not here. Let’s take a drive.”
She shook her head. “No, Ray.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“How could I? But in any case we have nothing to say to each other.”
“Don’t you trust yourself? By refusing to be alone with me, are you afraid I’ll break down your feeble defenses?”
Connie didn’t answer, but continued doggedly toward the dormitory, and the small apartment on the first floor that she shared with Kim. Considering the growing relationship between Kim and Eric, the chaplain, Connie knew she might soon be staying in the apartment alone.
“Let me come in for a few minutes. You can’t be serious about breaking our engagement. You’ve had time to think about this. Everybody