As adults, we develop all sorts of coping mechanisms to handle stress. Maybe you like to read a book, meditate, knit, watch TV, or exercise. When I was in New York, I used to go for a long run at the end of the day. Then when I was encouraged to attend all sorts of boozy work events, from happy hours to networking meetings, that healthy habit got replaced by alcohol. Over time, all my healthy coping mechanisms were replaced with alcohol, and my life was thrown completely out of balance. What I’ve learned is that when we’re tired, stressed out, cranky, or upset, we don’t need alcohol. What we need is to change our emotional state. We need to do something to go from tired to energized, from cranky to happy. And we turn to alcohol.
You are going to experience stress over the next 30 days, I can pretty much guarantee it. But rather than saying, “Screw it!” and giving up, stop and think through it. If you have a drink now, how will that make you feel later? It might make you feel better temporarily, but you’ll probably feel even worse the next morning when you realize you broke your promise to yourself. But here is the thing—every day that you read a chapter, you are learning, and so I strongly encourage you to pick up right where you left off and keep going. If you make it 30 days with just a few drinks, that is a huge improvement, and you will have learned so much. This experiment is about getting through all the information and staying curious about your behavior, whatever it is. I recommend keeping a journal (you can even jot down your thoughts in the notes app on your phone) or a video diary to record your thoughts each day. Notice how your body feels physically and emotionally. You might be surprised by the changes you see from day to day.
I’m not here to tell you to stop drinking. Or to keep drinking. I’m simply here to provide you with a framework to discover your truth through logical reasoning based on scientific information. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can make the choice. My only goal is to challenge some of the beliefs that might be holding you back. It’s a terrible feeling to want something new or different and feeling like you’re stuck, unable to move toward it in any meaningful way. One way or another, you’ll be able to make a move by the end of this experiment. Your job is simple. Observe and become aware for 30 alcohol-free days. Be a reporter. Just the facts, ma’am.
If you’re used to beating yourself up over your drinking, give yourself a break during the experiment. And if you slip up, give yourself a break then, too. The goal is not to be perfect. The goal is simply to test out a new way of thinking and behaving to see how it feels. To see if it moves you closer to those desires you have for a new life. In fact, imperfection can be a wonderful tool to help you see yourself even more clearly.
What I ask of you now, for the next 30 days, is to keep an open mind. Consider the possibilities presented in each day’s reading. Is it possible that you could have the facts all wrong? For example, could anxiety be a heavy influence on your drinking? Is it possible that there is more going on with marketing and the profit engine of the alcohol industry than you currently realize? Is there something going on within the brain that makes alcohol seem more attractive than it truly is? Again, all I ask is that you keep an open mind. At the end, you might decide to keep drinking, and maybe you’ll naturally cut down on the amount you drink. Or you might decide to stop altogether because you feel so good. It’s your body, your mind, and your choice.
One of the most interesting things I’ve found in my years of research is just how many people want to change their drinking. I thought I was alone. I thought I was the only one who was questioning my drinking habits. Nothing could be further from the truth! It’s not that we are alone. In our society, questioning our relationship with alcohol is a taboo, even among our closest friends. An honest conversation around drinking seems to invite judgment. Yet the statistics are staggering. Eighty percent of Americans drink alcohol, and a huge majority drink it regularly. And think about this: Out of the people you know who drink alcohol regularly, how many of them have said something like “I overdid it last night” or “After last night I am never drinking again” at one time or another? Most of them, right? Almost everyone I know, and certainly everyone I drank with, has told me that they wanted to change their drinking at some point, to some degree.
So you are not alone in wondering about this topic. You are in the vast majority.
Another thing I’ve realized after reaching hundreds of thousands of people with this message is that drinking more than you want is not a weakness. If you’ve tried to stop drinking in the past and failed, I want you to know it’s not your fault. Some of the smartest and most successful people in the world drink more than they want to, including lawyers, doctors, corporate executives, psychiatrists, professors, you name it. And when they try to cut back, they don’t find it easy. And when it is not easy, we blame ourselves, believing there is something wrong with us. As you will discover, there is nothing wrong with you; it’s simply that you are a human being who is drinking a substance that is addictive to human beings.
Why is this happening to even the smartest and best of us? Because we’re going about it all wrong. The entire conversation around alcohol is flawed. And by the time you finish this book, and the 30-day experiment, you’ll see that it’s not black-and-white. You’re not either “a normal drinker” or “an alcoholic.” Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. So relax and let go of your anxieties. There are no judgments here. And even though I’ve decided to stop drinking indefinitely, you might make a different decision after doing this experiment. My only goal is to give you as much truthful information as I can so that you can make the right decision for you. An informed decision.
Magic happens in 30 days. It’s a period of time when the brain can actually change—by making new neural connections—to build great new habits or to eliminate habits that have held you back. But to experience that magic, you may have to deal with a few side effects. After all, alcohol is a toxin and your body needs to cleanse itself. You might experience some cravings and irritability at first. This is completely normal and will pass as the alcohol leaves your system. It takes about a week for the body to detoxify itself, so be gentle with yourself during this period. Once your system is clean, you’re going to feel amazing! You’ll have more energy. Your brain will feel like a fog has lifted. And it’s possible you’ll feel happier than you have in a long time. Here are a few things you can do to help the process along.
• Make a firm decision to commit to this experiment 100 percent. One firm decision takes all the stress out of the thousands of smaller decisions you have to make every day. You want to burn the boats here like there’s no going back. It’s only 30 days. And at the end, you get to make the final decision about whether you continue on alcohol-free.
• Tell someone you trust about what you’re doing and why. It’s okay if you don’t want to announce it to the world quite yet. But there’s incredible power in having someone you can confide in. Do this and you’re much more likely to follow through with the whole 30 days.
• Drink plenty of water to flush out all the toxins in your system. The more you drink clean, pure water, the faster your body can cleanse itself.
• Get lots of sleep. Your body repairs itself when you’re asleep, so give it all the time it needs. If you’re worried you won’t be able to sleep without drinking, we’ll cover that later in the book.
• Get some exercise. You’ll feel better when you get your blood moving. And I’ve found vigorous exercise to be a great way to overcome both cravings and irritability.
• Eat healthy foods, especially protein. Your body needs protein to make amino acids, which help elevate your mood.
• Start a journal. You’re going to want to “talk” through what you learn in this book,