What does he want to tell me about this statement?
How can I support him?
How does he see the situation?
What brings you all this? Through understanding and understanding, it is easier and easier to take into account the interests and desires of the other, where it makes the least effort. You'll see it's worth it!
3. Make a point: often times the flap hold
Monologues are often self-runners. It is literally warm, it is often difficult to stop the flow of speech. Pay attention to your counterpart: Body language is worth a thousand words. With a little practice you will easily recognize tiredness, boredom, lack of interest in others.
And, most of the time, this is not up to your uninvolved conversation partner, that's up to you! Include your opponent in the conversation, ask questions, be silent. Because they do not need to be the opposite. You can also conduct self-talks in the quiet chamber.
4. Siegen - but also can do without
Not only is the knowledge of the situation of the other being asked here, but the willingness to understand the thoughts and emotions of the counterpart, and the ability to really understand them.
You can train it. Put yourself in the position of your partner and try to recognize his thoughts, emotions and intentions. Feel in his situation and show feelings like joy, enthusiasm, grief, compassion.
There is always only one winner. Where there is a winner, there are always defeated, there are always one or more losers. There can be several winners, no losers are required. If you put the fight back, you will be at the forefront of your partner!
Who am I dealing with?
The core question with any successful communication is usually: What do I want to tell the other? This question should not be asked! Rather, with whom do I deal with?
Whether in the interview with the personnel, as a salesperson in the car showroom with the customer, as a management with my employees, as a doctor in dealing with my patients, always the most successful is the questions
1 Do I formulate and argue objectively correctly and addressee-fair?
2 Does what I say or write come as I would like or would like to?
can answer with a clear â € œYesâ €.
Communication arises at the receiver
Communication ultimately arises with the recipient. â € œI donâ € ™ t hear what you say, but what I can or want to hear, â € says an old saying. Therefore: Pay more attention to the person you are talking to or want to convince than to yourself.
That is exactly what is meant by â € œalterocentrationâ €, namely putting yourself and your own value judgments at the back and focusing entirely on your partner and the cause.
The top 4 of Alterozentrierung
And such conversation partners are very popular with others. So that does not happen to you, here are the top 4 of Alterozentrierung:
1. Not always â € œI; I; Iâ €
Those who are not Alterozentriert wants to be in the foreground: I; I; I. It's all about:
How can I enforce my own interests?
How can I convince my counterpart of my own ideas?
How can I get the most out of a situation?
The I-Sager thinks and acts without regard for OTHERS. Only his advantage and his opinion count. Anyone who thinks and acts in an age-centered way does the opposite: it also allows the benefits and opinions of others.
2. Not: "I am entitled to something different than others"
â € œSelf guilty, â € he says to her when she complains again about his unwillingness to help with the household, â € œyou shouldnâ € ™ t have to do all that. And by the way: I'm not messing around here
Some people give themselves more liberties than he wants others to stand, feels deeply in the right and has no place for the opinions and perspectives of others. Anyone who thinks and acts in an age-centered way does not.
3. Not "where I am is up"
How do I see others? This is the question that an aged man is posing. All the others do not do this, after all, it is about putting themselves at the top (optionally in the center).
That others have a different perspective, different skills, different desires and needs - uninteresting and negligible. The main thing: recognition in the special role. People often believe that they get over exaggerations. Please do not!
4. A little ego is for everyone
But with all Alterozentrierung applies: Every person should be careful not to come too short. A certain amount of selfishness belongs to everyone and is also necessary in order to assert one's own interests.
A healthy egoism is characterized by the fact that one can assert oneself on the one hand, but at the same time also knows its limits and allows one's fellow man the freedom to develop oneself.
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