‘Is it safe for me to feel like this?’
‘Do I have judgements about my feelings?
‘Do I have negative or limiting thoughts about this situation?’
Listen to your thoughts and beliefs and notice them.
Take a few moments to write down what you feel and think.
Now focus on your voice. Placing a hand gently on your throat, ask yourself ‘What do I need to say about this?’ As you breathe, imagine your throat relaxing and ask yourself:
‘Do I need to express my feelings?’
‘Do I need to ask for help?’
‘Do I need to communicate my desires or requirements?’
‘Do I need to ask for information?’
‘Could I be more honest with myself or someone close to me?’
Again, write down any thoughts or feelings that you have.
What new choices can you make to deal with your health issue or your situation in a different way?
How can you adapt your thoughts, beliefs and actions to help you to heal this challenge?
Make a note of any insights that you receive, and remember to act upon them. Repeat this exercise regularly. The more that you ask yourself the right questions, the easier it becomes for you to connect your heart, head and voice and the easier it is for you to take positive action.
As we progress through this book I will be sharing many ideas and techniques for developing positive, healthy patterns of thought, expressing and using the power of your feelings and maintaining your life in harmony and balance. This is just the beginning.
Visualization: Harmonizing your Thoughts, Feelings and Expression
Find somewhere quiet and comfortable to sit, unplug the telephone and make sure that you are not going to be disturbed. Sit with your back supported and your body open and relaxed, your arms and legs uncrossed. If you prefer you can lie down, but again make sure that you keep your body open rather than curled up.
I am about to invite you to use some positive mental images. This is a little like having a daydream or consciously picturing something that you desire or something that you wish to remember. Some people have strong images when they do this, some do not. It is enough to hold the idea or concept in your mind for this exercise to work for you.
To begin, breathe deeply and imagine your heart and your chest pulsing with a beautiful healing light. The light is a shimmering mass of iridescent colours that reflect your current mood and feelings. Choose the strongest colours and see them glowing brighter and brighter at your heart.
Next, imagine your throat, your neck and your voice box also glowing with light; notice the strongest colours that fill and surround this area of your body. See the light becoming stronger, healthier and more positive.
Then, concentrate on your head and your mind and imagine this area also glowing with light. What colours would be glowing from your mind? See light shimmering around your head as you explore and play with your many passing thoughts.
Finally, see a single, pure beam of golden light connecting your head, your heart and your voice, a strong line of light energy that joins up the emotional area of your chest to the area of communication in your throat and the area of thought located within your head.
Imagine the coloured light in all three areas harmonizing and growing brighter still as your head, your heart and your voice come into instant alignment and balance. Imagine yourself thinking, feeling and communicating with one strong positive voice; all parts of yourself are in balance and in agreement with each other. Continue to breathe deeply and hold this image or concept for a while, noticing your thoughts, feelings, needs and desires.
Repeat this exercise again when you need to regain some balance or when you wish to heal some internal or external conflict. In the meantime, let us continue by healing some of the thoughts and beliefs that you may be holding in your mind…
THE REALMS OF BRILLIANCE AND CONFLICT
Your mind is extraordinary. Nobody else thinks in exactly the same way as you do. No one has quite the same collection of thoughts, beliefs, memories, dreams and ideas that you have. You are special!
Much of the time our minds serve us extremely well. For most of us, the way that we think keeps us alive and helps us to function quite effectively. However, there may be areas of disharmony, conflict and ill health that are caused in part by the limiting, restrictive or judgemental beliefs that we hold. We can even think our way into illness and crisis without being aware of what we are doing.
The mind is very busy; it likes to create constant activity and it likes to stay in control of what is going on. This busy-ness and the need to control can create stress and rigidity. We need to learn to harness the power of our minds and use it constructively so that we can create the space to grow in health and happiness.
NEGATIVE AND LIMITING BELIEFS
Even the most positive people have areas of thought or belief that do not support their health and well-being. This does not mean that they are actively doing something wrong, just that – like everyone else on the planet – they need to grow beyond some of the ways they have learned to think.
As children, we rapidly absorb information about the world around us. We listen to our parents, our guardians, our brothers and sisters, our teachers and our playmates and pick up a wealth of ideas and information about ourselves, other people and the nature of the world that we live in. Some of this information is healthy, some of it is not.
On the whole, the beliefs that we learn work very well for us. Even if they are negative or limiting they often keep us safe and help us to survive during the more vulnerable periods of our lives. Chiefly we learn the best ways to gain the approval or attention of anyone who is there to look after us. Our patterns of behaviour, our thoughts and our beliefs reflect this.
As we grow up, we naturally review this knowledge, changing many of our ideas and beliefs along the way. This is part of learning and growing; we are listening to information, noticing the behaviour of the people around us, choosing our ideas and adapting to the situations we find ourselves in. The tension comes when we remain unaware of beliefs that are unhealthy for us or when we get a bit stuck in patterns of thought and behaviour that may once have been valid but now no longer reflect our needs, desires and aspirations.
SAM’S STORY
Sam was a man in his mid-thirties who came to me complaining of minor aches and pains. He constantly sought relief for his discomfort but had lost faith in the treatments he had previously attempted. He often did not complete them and his life was a catalogue of failures. He had lived through a series of unfulfilling relationships, dissatisfying jobs and missed opportunities.
We did some guided relaxation work together. I used positive thoughts and soothing visual images to settle Sam into a relaxed state and help him to release some of the tension that was contributing to his aches and pains. As he settled, Sam began to talk about his childhood and I began to hear some of his deeply held negative and limiting beliefs.
When Sam was a small child his parents had separated and Sam’s mother was left to bring up four children on her own. Money was scarce and Sam’s mother was so busy providing for her children that she rarely had the time or energy left over to give them all the attention they needed.