Try to carve out some time for yourself. Often you need to relax before you can completely relieve yourself of feces. While on the toilet, it sometimes helps to put your feet on a stool or phone books or to bend down in order to give the poop a straighter, more direct way out. It is best to go sit on the toilet when you have an urge. It usually doesn’t do any good to just sit down and wait.
3. “What if I fart while having sex?”
Not exactly the biggest aphrodisiac. Many women who suffer from gas, IBS and diarrhea often come to me with this fear.
Try to make this a nonissue. Avoid eating foods that cause gas several hours before you anticipate having sex. Go to the toilet before bed and see if you can eliminate gas or possibly stool. And relax. Don’t occupy your mind with this worry, or you really won’t enjoy the sex.
4. “How can I afford to buy all the supplements, vitamins and medications necessary to make my stomach feel normal again?”
Wander the aisles at any health food store, and you’ll see plenty of pricey supplements promising stomach serenity. Unfortunately, you could spend a small fortune trying to compose your own stomach-soothing cocktail, with dubious results. How do you know what’s worth it and what isn’t?
Become an informed consumer. Television ads and company information are almost certainly biased toward the product, and it’s often hard to assess the product’s potential usefulness and whether the potential benefit for you justifies its expense. And the advice dispensed by a friendly salesperson might be uninformed. Read newspapers, magazines or online media for new studies. Manipulating your diet and lifestyle changes are cheap and could have major positive effects on your health. Lose weight if you are overweight, exercise, stop smoking and eliminate foods that could be causing symptoms, as discussed in the following chapters. Vitamin D and calcium, if not obtained in food, are important supplements for good health. Generic medications in most instances are cheaper and just as good as name-brand medications. Starting with a cheaper medication over a more expensive one is advisable. Probiotics have many health benefits, as will be described. Insurance will not pay for them and they can be expensive. All claims made about probiotics are not always based on studies. If you have IBS and want to take a probiotic, be sure to take a probiotic that includes a bifidobacillus. Other suggestions are given in the chapter on diarrhea.
5. “How can I afford to eat healthfully?”
These days everyone wants to be Mario Batali, trotting through bustling markets for the freshest produce. It’s trendy, the food looks great, and you feel good about yourself after loading up your cart with shiny fruits and veggies, organic farmed fish and big bags of granola. But make a habit of shopping at fancy stores, and before long you’ve spent your entire shoe budget or mortgage payment. These delicacies might look pretty on the shelves—but buying them may not be the most money-wise thing to do. How can you eat well without breaking the bank?
Buy in bulk. Food is cheaper if you buy more than three pounds. Often joining a food co-op or a discount or wholesale market is cheaper. Specialty stores and organic food stores are more expensive. Think creatively. You can get much-needed protein from legumes and can add to them a small amount of meat and vegetables if you would like. Fish heads with the bones may be available from the fish market or store for a minimal cost. These can make a delicious soup. Many people don’t think about eating a turkey unless it’s Thanksgiving. However, turkeys are usually cheap and meaty and can stretch to feed many people. Buy items on sale and expand your palate. You might have to buy greens that you’ve never tried before—and you just might like them! You can freeze meat. Just make sure that you label it with the date and wrap it carefully. Check out the prices of frozen vegetables, as well as fresh vegetables. Make sure that you eat what is good for your condition.
6. “I’m always late for work because I can’t get off the toilet!”
So many women I know end up running for the subway because they’ve spent more time sitting on the toilet than putting on their clothes. There’s always that one last pitstop for the road—which sometimes turns into an hour of straining, grunting and pushing, to no avail. How many times can the “I was stuck in traffic” excuse hold up?
If the problem is that it takes you a certain amount of time after you wake up to finish your morning toiletry, wake up earlier. If the problem is that your cup of coffee sets you off, drink your coffee earlier, drink it on your way to work or wait until you get to work—whatever works. If the problem is that when you think of leaving home, you have to go to the bathroom, you should learn some biofeedback techniques. You may need to take an Imodium to get out. If you are taking fiber or a laxative during the day, try changing your intake schedule.
7. “I can’t go out to eat—everything makes me sick!”
What fun is going to a restaurant when the menu is a land mine? Some acidic foods cause heartburn; other foods cause major gas. And forget about alcohol. How can you enjoy dining out if you have to order a prune salad or a milk of magnesia cocktail?
Try to scope out the menu ahead of time. The Internet is great for that. Know what you can eat. Call ahead and discuss your food preferences or needs with the chef. Often he/she will be very accommodating. If no accommodation will be made, go somewhere else. You should also carry a card noting what you cannot eat; this can be slipped to the waiter. If you have allergies or celiac disease, you absolutely need to make sure the chef understands your forbidden foods. Some restaurants will list gluten-free choices. If you don’t think you can eat much at the restaurant, eat snacks at home before leaving and just order a few things (maybe just beverages) so that you can be social.
8. “My belly bloats up by the end of the day and I look seven months pregnant.”
Do you have to open your zipper to feel comfortable or wear elastic-banded pants or find a loose-fitting dress to hide your figure?
The first thing to do is to try to eliminate any foods that cause increased gas, as this may cause bloating. Reducing stress may help. Learn biofeedback or meditation techniques to control stress and to reduce the physical accompaniments to stress. It is not known if strengthening the abdominal muscles will help prevent increased bloating, but it is worth a try and healthy, too. Probiotics may help. If bloating continues, try wearing loose clothing. Elastic-waisted clothes can expand during the day and be hidden by beautiful oversize sweaters. Body shapers can help control the belly bloat as well as the bulge. Most times no one else will notice. Don’t broadcast your problem to your date or companion. Keep it to yourself.
9. “I can’t control the noises my stomach makes!”
You’re leading a board meeting, proudly giving a PowerPoint presentation, when suddenly your stomach erupts like Mount Vesuvius. Not the quickest route to a promotion. How do you rein it in?
This may require a course in biofeedback or a way that you find for controlling your emotions or stress. Sometimes there is nothing one can do. Everyone has had this problem at some time. Try to make light of it if you see someone staring at you. If your stomach makes loud noises when you’re hungry, have a low-calorie snack before you go into that important meeting. Try to figure out what causes the noises, and then try to reduce the precipitating factor.
10. “I can’t stop farting in public!”
You’re sitting in class or at a meeting when suddenly a noxious odor seeps from your body. You avert your eyes or stare suspiciously at that annoying guy from accounting, trying to pin the blame on him. We’ve all been there at one time or another. But for some women, this kind of deviousness is a way of life.
First try to reduce the foods that cause gas. Do you need to eliminate milk products, gas-forming vegetables or other foods? If, after changing your diet, you continue to have this problem, you may need to be evaluated with breath tests. Could you have a parasite? Does simethicone (Gas-X) or enteric-coated peppermint capsules (do not use if you have heartburn) help? If you still have gas after changing your diet, consider a diet that eliminates fructose, lactose