“Porter, I don’t have a choice but to ask you these questions. There’s no one else from my past I still have a relationship with. If I want to find out anything about these past five years, it’s you or Google.”
He chuckled darkly. “A ringing endorsement if ever I heard one.”
A smile played with her full lips. It was almost comfortable and it caused his chest to tighten. He remembered a time when he’d been able to make her smile every day, back before their relationship had deteriorated into loud fights and long silences.
“Porter, I’m not going to apologize for speaking the truth.” The smile faded. “Why didn’t anyone come see me in the hospital?”
“When the accident happened, we were far from home, picking up the baby. Our friends weren’t nearby.” And no doubt they would have felt awkward coming to visit the couple given the impending divorce. “I saved the cards from the flowers and balloons that came at the start. I’ll show you when we get home.”
She chewed that full lip. “What about phone calls to quiz people? Who can I call to help me?”
He wouldn’t isolate her, but he didn’t want to make it easy for her to take off again, either. He just wanted a little time for them to cement their relationship again, to rediscover what they’d once had—and to parent the baby they’d always wanted. They needed this time to become the family he’d always imagined they could be.
“The doctor warned you to be careful and take it slow. You’ll have to ask your physicians near the beach house. Whatever they say is good by me.” It surprised him that she hadn’t asked many questions publicly at the hospital, but whatever had held her back, now that they were alone, she was more relentless about getting answers. There was an urgency and an edge to her now that she hadn’t possessed before the accident.
Or had she kept it hidden the way she’d hidden so many of her motives in the last months of their marriage?
“So you have no trouble giving me those phone numbers? If the doctor says it’s okay.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on the back of the seat as they waited at an intersection.
“No problem at all.” People would be eager to hear from her after the accident, but they’d also be busy with the holidays. And the doctor had given them no reason to think her memory would return so soon. He needed the next two weeks’ Christmas holiday with her and their son to tell her his side of the story. To see if they could make this work. Maybe, just maybe they could build that family after all. For Thomas. “Whatever you want from me, just ask. We’re married.”
Her quick gasp brushed across his neck, and her gaze met his, her eyes wide. “Whatever I want?”
The air went hot between them. Could she see the memories in his eyes? Could she sense just how damn good they had been together? How good they could still be?
There was desire and apprehension in her eyes. Her gaze broadcast loud and clear that she might not share the same memories, but she felt their connection—and it made her nervous.
He needed to proceed carefully. He hadn’t told her about their decision to divorce. He wanted the chance to convince her to stay first. He also didn’t want her asking questions that would box him into lying—or telling a hard truth. Like the fact they hadn’t slept together for a month before the accident. “I can promise you, I’m not about to demand husbandly rights or anything else from you until you’re ready.”
“That’s for the best,” she said a little too fast. “I’m not ready for—”
“You don’t need to say anything more.” He punched in the security code to open the scrolled gates that were designed like a pewter clamshell gaping wide. Christmas lights glistened on the palm trees lining the path to the yellow stucco mansion, the glimmer growing brighter with the setting sun.
“You’ve been very understanding the past week, Porter. I know this has been difficult for you, too, and I appreciate that you’ve worked to make things as easy for me as possible.”
There was a time not so long ago she’d made it clear she felt just the opposite. She’d insisted he only wanted her as a place holder in the mother role. That any woman would have done, that he didn’t really love her and that she was damn well tired of him hiding at the office to avoid facing their problems.
He kept his silence.
“What? Did I say something wrong?”
“You’ve been through a lot the past month.” They both had. He steered toward the three-story mansion perched on an ocean bluff, holiday decor in full glory of wreaths, bows and draped garland as he’d ordered. “Of course you deserve understanding. I just want you to be clear that while I’m giving you time and space to remember your past, that doesn’t mean I won’t be trying to fill your head with happy new memories.”
Her eyes went wide again. God, she was beautiful but too frail after all she’d been through. Protective urges fired to the fore. They might not be the couple they’d been before, but he needed her to make his family complete. He would do whatever it took to woo her over these next couple of weeks. And he wouldn’t let anyone stand in his way.
He put the car in Park in front of the sweeping double staircase just as the groundskeeper stepped into another car to valet park...and...
Damn. Porter felt the sucker punch clear through to his spine.
He recognized that Maserati sports car well. Heaven help them all.
His mother had come to visit.
Home sweet home?
Sorta.
Her eyes flitted to the sprawling house before them. Poinsettias lined the double staircase, adding Christmas spirit to the green and vibrant Florida winter. A giant wreath trimmed in gold and silver hung on the door, warm and inviting.
The warmth made her heart sink a bit. Had she picked out all of these decorations? Were they supposed to carry some sentimental value? She had been with Porter for almost five years. They owned years’ worth of memories and items they had collected—and all of it was a mystery to her. Taking a deep breath, she turned her attention to Thomas and his monogrammed blanket.
As she unbuckled the baby from his car seat, Alaina couldn’t miss the tension radiating from Porter. Of course he’d been under a tremendous stress, too, during this whole situation. He had just been so stalwart until now; she was surprised he let his emotions show.
Even if he’d opened up only briefly before he became the ultimate in-control guy again. Was that an act just for her? Was that how she’d preferred him to be? She’d liked seeing the emotion on his face, in his eyes. The controlled expression he wore now seemed to shut her out.
She cradled the sleeping infant in her arms, taking comfort from the scent of baby shampoo and innocence. She didn’t remember becoming a wife or a mother. She didn’t feel like a wife or a mother.
But she knew without question she would do whatever was needed to make sure this innocent life in her care felt loved and secure.
Porter opened the back door of the car, the setting sun casting a nimbus around his big body, which blocked out the rest of the world. God, he was a gorgeous hulk of man. She could see him in a painting of Atlas holding the world on those broad shoulders. He made her feel safe, protected. She could lean on him.
He propped a hand on the roof. “Are you feeling steady enough to carry the baby?”
“I’m fine, but thank you for asking.” She stepped out, her hold careful on Thomas.
Porter cupped her elbow in a steadying grasp, his touch warm and gentle, sending tingles through her.