He knew at that instant nothing could be the same as it had been before she left.
* * *
Leah Beiler had known the chances were gut that she’d see at least one of the other Stoltzfus brothers when she came to speak with Amos Stoltzfus at his market, but she hadn’t expected it would be Ezra. She’d hoped for more time before she spoke with him, more time to become accustomed to the plain life she had left behind a decade ago. Even though she’d tried to stay true to the ways in which she had been raised, some Englisch ways, like looking for a light switch when it was dark, had subtly become habits she needed to break.
At least the propane stove seemed familiar this morning when she rose to make breakfast, because she had used a gas stove the whole time she was away from home. Johnny had suggested an electric one, but she’d refused, one of the few times she’d put her foot down after they left Paradise Springs.
She was glad for the excuse to look away from Ezra when Shep gave a yip as another buggy pulled into the parking lot. Calming the dog, she tried to do the same for herself. She had offered to come to the market to get some cinnamon for Mamm because she had wanted to speak to Amos about displaying some of her quilts for sale. The quilts she had made and sold during the past ten years provided money to feed and shelter them, and she hoped she could go on selling them to help with expenses at home now that her parents were older. She had been thinking of that instead of realizing she shouldn’t have come to the market without preparing herself for a chance encounter with people she’d known.
Especially, she should have thought about the possibility of running into Ezra. Time had turned the awkward teen with limbs too loose and long for him into a handsome man. He had definitely grown into himself, because his suspenders seemed narrow on his wide shoulders and muscles were visible beneath his rolled-up sleeves.
He didn’t have a beard, which meant he’d never married. That surprised her because several of the girls who had been her friends before she left Paradise Springs had talked endlessly about Ezra Stoltzfus. At the time, he’d seemed oblivious to their hopes that he would ask to take them home on a Sunday after church. He was kind and teased them, but, if he agreed to take one of them home, it was because he was going to see one of their brothers and wanted to be polite. She had been certain he would ask Mary Beachy to walk out with him...until the night he kissed her.
Did he remember that night? They had been sitting by the stream that cut through the back fields of her family’s farm, and he’d leaned over to shoo a mosquito away. She had turned her face to thank him, not realizing his was close. Their lips brushed. The kiss had been swift, but the reaction had remained with her all night as she recalled how warm his mouth had been against hers.
She never had a chance to ask him if he’d meant the kiss or if it had been an accident. The next night, Johnny had the worst argument ever with their daed and left, taking her with him. He’d offered to go with her into the village for an ice-cream cone. Instead, they met a young woman in a car. Johnny had insisted Leah come with him when he got into the car. She’d gone, knowing someone had to try to talk him out of his foolish plan.
For ten years, she’d repeated the same plea for him to return to Paradise Springs and their family and their home and their friends. Not once had he wavered. He would not go back to their daed’s house.
And he had been true to his word.
But she had come home...at last. Her hope that it would feel as if she’d never been away was futile. Ten years of living among Englischers had altered her in ways she couldn’t have foreseen. Now she had to relearn to live an Amish life.
And her niece Mandy must learn to live one for the first time. Stretching into the buggy she’d borrowed from her parents, she tucked one of the quilts she had brought with her around the nine-year-old girl who had already fallen back to sleep. Her niece would need some time to become accustomed to the early-to-bed and early-to-rise schedule of a farm. Last night, upon their arrival at the family’s farm in Paradise Springs, the girl had been too wound up to sleep. This morning, Leah had caught sight of dampness on Mandy’s cheeks before her niece hastily scrubbed her tears away.
For Leah, her homecoming was wunderbaar. Mamm had embraced her as if she never intended to let Leah go again. They had stayed up late to talk, pray and cry together. Her sole regret was her daed was away and wouldn’t be back until next week. She hoped she could mend the hurt she and Johnny had caused him and that Daed would be as welcoming as her mamm had been.
It was never easy to tell with Daed. He kept many of his thoughts to himself, and he had never been as demonstrative as Mamm. Only Johnny, when he and Daed quarreled, had been able to break through that reserve.
No, she did not want to think of those loud arguments that had been the reason Johnny left and refused to return to Paradise Springs. She had done everything she could to try to persuade them both to listen to the other, but she had failed, and now it was too late.
Leah bent to pick up Shep and put him back in the buggy, but the little dog jumped out again, clearly thinking it was a game. Shep ran forward to the horse, who snorted a warning at him. The black dog was fascinated with the other animals on the farm, even the barn cats that had rewarded his curiosity with a scratch on the tip of his black nose.
“Stay, Shep,” she said.
The little dog obeyed with an expression she was familiar with from Mandy. An expression that said, All right, even though I don’t want to.
Sort of how she felt trying to make conversation with Ezra Stoltzfus. The last time she’d talked to him, words had flowed nonstop from both of them. Now it felt like they were strangers. With a start, she realized that was exactly what they were. She’d changed in many ways over the past ten years; surely he had, too.
If she needed proof, she got it when Ezra said in the same cool tone he used to greet her, “To be honest, Leah, I didn’t expect to see you in Paradise Springs ever again.”
“I wasn’t sure I would ever get back here.” She needed a safer subject, one where she didn’t have to choose each word with care. “How are your sisters?”
“Ruth is married.”
“She married before I left.”
“True. She has seven kinder now.”
“Did she choose names for them from Old Testament books as your parents did?”
His grin appeared and vanished so quickly she wondered if she’d truly seen it. “She decided to start with New Testament names.”
“And how is Esther?”
“She is at home. Mamm moved into the dawdi haus after Daed died, and our baby sister is now giving orders to the Stoltzfus brothers to pick up after themselves and help with clearing the table after meals.”
She hesitated. Asking about his siblings was not uncomfortable, but asking him how he was and what he was doing seemed too personal. That was silly. It wasn’t as if she was going to quiz him about whether he was courting anyone. She’d never ask that. It wasn’t their way to discuss possible matches before the young couple had their plans to marry announced during a church Sunday service. Even if such matters were discussed freely, she wouldn’t ask Ezra such a private question. Not now when every nerve seemed on edge.
“What about you, Ezra?” she asked, keeping her voice light. “I don’t see another shop here. What keeps you busy?”
“I took over the farm.”
“As you planned to. Have you started your cheese-making business yet?”
His gaze darted away. Had she said too much? Or was he simply unsettled by each reminder of how differently her life had turned out from what she’d talked about while his had followed exactly the path he wanted?
He bent to pat the head of the little dog, who had inched