Why hadn’t she gone home for Christmas? As the tube rumbled on, the conversation with her mum played on Felicity’s mind.
‘Please come home soon, your grandmother’s health is deteriorating, she misses you Flick, and I do too.’
‘Mum, I live in London, it’s difficult to get time off. Do you know how far away Scotland is?’
It was five hundred and eighty-six miles to be precise and ten hours in the car, not including toilet stops. In the last few weeks the weather had been unpredictable, planes and trains had been cancelled due to severe weather conditions and more snow was predicted soon.
But her mother’s words played on her mind now. ‘Your grandmother won’t be around forever, Felicity.’ And, of course, her mother, Rona Simons, had been right. Bonnie Stewart had passed away at the age of eighty a little over a week later.
Felicity held on tightly to the aluminium pole in the tube carriage and watched the stations whizz by. This journey was never one she relished, especially during rush hour on a Friday when the tube was packed to the rafters with everyone jostling for their own little space. Life had seemed so exciting when she’d first arrived in the big smoke, but now she was tired of the busy pace of life.
Finally, Felicity jumped off the tube at Leicester Square and pushed her way in the direction of one of the side streets towards The Chatty Banker pub. She pushed open the outer door and saw her friend Polly behind the bar, thoroughly at home with all the regulars. She was leaning against the pump, all her usual confidence on display.
‘Felicity! I didn’t expect to see you tonight.’ Polly glanced sideways and beamed towards her friend; she was invincibly cheerful as ever but Felicity thought she looked exhausted.
‘I’m hungry, don’t feel like cooking and could murder a double gin… and when your good friend is the manager of such a good establishment, then it’s a no brainer.’
‘You can’t say fairer than that,’ smiled Polly, immediately sliding a glass towards Felicity who balanced on the bar stool in front of her.
‘Are you okay? You’re looking tired.’
‘I’m all right, I’ve just been run off my feet today … no rest for the wicked.’
‘And you are very wicked.’ Felicity smiled.
‘How was New Year? I thought you and Adrian would be in.’
New Year’s Eve was overrated where Felicity was concerned. As far back as she could remember there had been nothing special about that date, and she’d automatically blocked out the last New Year she’d spent at Heartcross, eight years ago. It still pained her to remember the look on Fergus’s face, the pleading tone in his voice begging her not to leave as she’d turned and walked away, shutting the cab door behind her. Felicity had never forgotten that night, but as time went on, she’d regretted it more and more. She drew her glass towards her and drained the contents of it slowly.
Polly narrowed her eyes at Felicity. ‘Bad day?’
Where do I start? Felicity thought to herself blowing out a breath. ‘You could say that. Adrian and I weren’t around New Year’s Eve, because that’s when I decided we were no longer a “we”.’ She shifted the glass to one side to make room for her elbows on the bar. ‘As we speak he should be moving out of the flat.’
At first, she’d thought he was shocked when she’d asked him to leave, but then he’d retaliated and had the audacity to tell her she wasn’t all that. Felicity had fought the desire to argue with him – after all, what was the point? Adrian’s expectations of their relationship had differed greatly to hers, and he had basically treated her like his mother, not his girlfriend. Now she just wanted her own space back.
‘Oh Flick, what happened?’
‘I just realised he wasn’t the one for me.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ reassured Polly in a soft tone. ‘There are heaps of nice men you could go out with.’
‘I think I’ll give it a miss for a while,’ said Felicity, with tears welling up in her eyes. ‘But that’s not all, Pol. I’ve been the worst daughter in the world,’ Felicity said as sadness overwhelmed her. Her heart sank, and her shoulders heaved, ‘My grandmother has passed away, and I didn’t get to say goodbye.’
Without hesitation, Polly reached across the bar and squeezed her friend’s hand. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that,’ she said in a soft soothing tone.
Without warning the tears rolled down Felicity’s cheek. She felt ashamed that she’d been selfish and put her own self-importance and feelings before her mum’s and now she truly regretted it.
Felicity thought back to her life at Heartcross and memories of her grandmother flooded her mind; the times they’d spent together in the family teashop and the love they’d shared. Bonnie Stewart had lived her whole life in the Scottish Highlands, and sadness flooded Felicity’s veins again as she remembered the way her grandmother’s cheeks had dimpled with her smile, the way she’d planted noisy kisses on the top of her head and the way she’d always smelled of scrumptious baking.
Heartcross village was a tranquil place off the beaten track, surrounded by majestic mountains, heather-wreathed glens and beautiful waterfalls – place untouched by time. Bonnie’s heart-warming traditional stone cottage was snuggled away next to the trim necklace of whitewash houses on Love Heart Lane and had become the hub of the community when she’d turned her front living room into a tearoom over fifty-five years ago. The place had welcomed villagers and passing ramblers walking in the area, and working in ‘Bonnie’s Teashop’ alongside her grandmother still held happy memories for Felicity. Again, she was beginning to question why she’d been so eager to leave it all behind.
‘I should have made more of an effort,’ Felicity said to Polly regretfully. ‘I thought she’d be around forever, but time runs away, and now … and now…’ Felicity couldn’t finish her sentence, her heart was breaking so badly.
‘Flick, you need to go home,’ Polly said gently as she comforted her friend.
Felicity nodded, ‘I know, I am … I leave first thing tomorrow, flying to Inverness … it should only take an hour and half.’ The guilt ricocheted through her body again. She had only ever been an hour and half away by plane so why the fleeting visits home? She knew exactly why – Fergus.
‘How long are you going for?’
‘Two weeks,’ answered Felicity, dabbing her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘I’ll be fine,’ she said, pasting on a smile, but deep down she knew it wasn’t fine.
Taking a second to compose herself, she scanned the menu and ordered a bowl of chips before checking her phone. No word from Adrian but what was she expecting, a farewell text?
Just at that moment a gust of air rushed in as the pub door swung open and to Felicity’s shock, in walked Adrian with a girl she didn’t recognise by his side. His eyes widened the second he set eyes on Felicity and he turned towards the girl, speaking to her briefly, before she nodded and disappeared towards the far end of the pub.
Felicity couldn’t help feeling a little miffed. ‘Moved on already?’ she asked, knowing it was none of her business.
There was an uncomfortable silence before Adrian shrugged sheepishly. ‘Just a friend from work.’
‘Yeah right.’ The words were out before Felicity could stop them.
He appeared indignant. ‘And you care because?’
‘It’s fine, I’m sure you need a friend right now,’ she reasserted herself quickly.
He nodded and Felicity felt the sudden urge to extract herself from this situation. ‘While you’re here, can I have