‘There’s also Rory – and even Fergus wouldn’t see you struggling surely.’
Now it was Rona’s turn to stare at her daughter. ‘That’s the first time I’ve heard you mention his name in a long time,’ she said in astonishment.
Felicity had avoided saying Fergus’s name out loud for years; the memories were too painful, and she thought if she pretended he didn’t exist it would all go away, but of course it was never going to go away. It was always going to be there.
Felicity exhaled. ‘I’ve seen him.’
Taking Rona by surprise she sat up straight. ‘You’ve seen Fergus? When? Where?’
‘Today, up at the farm. One of Drew’s Shetlands was stranded in the river. Fergus went in after it and Drew and I helped to rescue them.’
‘In this weather? He’d catch his death.’
‘He nearly did.’ The pang of worry was still firmly in the pit of her stomach.
‘How is he?’
‘He’s okay now,’ answered Felicity, thinking of a cold Fergus shivering out of control.
‘And how did that go down … seeing you?’
Felicity sighed. ‘Difficult, he wasn’t over the moon to see me, which of course is understandable.’
‘Did you talk?’
Felicity shook her head. ‘Not really, it wasn’t the time or the place, but I will. And anyway—’ she attempted to change the subject ‘—what are we going to do about this boiler? We can’t go on boiling kettles on the Aga.’
Rona sighed. ‘There’s a quote on the dresser, but it’s over a thousand pounds for a new one.’
Felicity stood up and wandered over to the stack of papers piled up and stared down at the quote. ‘Mum, let me help. I can pay this.’
‘That’s very kind of you but…’
‘But nothing, I insist. I’ve a little saved up with all the extra work over Christmas and there’s no way I’m going back to London leaving you here with no hot water or heat.’ Felicity flicked a glance towards the living-room clock – it was now past five o’clock. ‘I’ll give them a ring first thing in the morning.’
Rona blinked back her tears and her face brightened. ‘Thank you.’
‘You don’t need to thank me and please talk to me in the future. Let me know if you need help.’
Rona nodded. ‘I will, I promise.’ She got to her feet and enveloped her daughter in a hug. ‘It’s good to have you home, even if it’s only for a little while.’
Felicity felt the love and warmth from her mother as she wrapped her arms tightly around her. She made a promise to herself there and then that she would come home more and ring as often as possible.
‘What time do we need to be at the pub?’ asked Felicity, releasing herself from her mother’s arms and suddenly feeling ravenous.
‘Anytime now,’ answered Rona, looking towards the window. The snow was still coming down thick and fast. ‘Everyone will be there, you know.’ Rona held her daughter’s gaze and Felicity nodded her understanding.
‘Might as well get it over with.’
‘How are you feeling?’
‘A little apprehensive. I know it sounds daft but maybe a little scared of seeing Allie again … I caught up with Isla this afternoon, she was lovely to me. It was like I’d never been away. But I’m not sure how Allie is going to react. She took it badly when I left … and she’s not as forgiving as Isla.’
‘And there’s Aggie too.’ Rona cocked an eyebrow.
Every time Felicity had come back to the village for a brief visit she’d tried not to think about bumping into Aggie but she knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later and it was something she wasn’t looking forward to.
Aggie Campbell was Fergus’s mother, and he lived with her in Fox Hollow Cottage, just at the bottom of Love Heart Lane. Aggie was without a doubt a kind woman, but she had strong opinions, especially when it came to her only son whom she doted on.
‘I know.’
‘And it’s more than likely Fergus will be there. If he’s okay after today.’
Every time Felicity thought of Fergus she felt a tremor of emotion that she couldn’t quite place. She closed her eyes for a split second, the image of him and his soft smile firmly on her mind. If she closed her eyes tight enough she could still feel his strong arms around her and his woody, manly smell as she snuggled into his chest all those years ago. There was a time she’d thought Fergus would always be by her side, every step of the way, growing old together – but she’d messed that up. She gave herself a little shake. All that was in the past. She needed to accept that.
‘It will be okay, you know. I’m sure there will be a time when you can be civil together.’
Felicity really hoped so. She’d never admitted it to anyone before but there were times when she suffered bouts of depression, wondering what her life would have been like if she’d stayed in Heartcross. Would she and Fergus still be together? Would they have gotten over the heartache? Would she have been enough for him? She would never know the answers to those questions. In fact, she’d cried a lot in London, pretending to be perfectly happy, creating a new existence that was basically a pretence.
Of course there had been good times but once the initial excitement and adventure had worn off she’d wanted to go back home on numerous occasions. However, her pride had always stopped her. She’d suffered for her actions and seeing the look Fergus had given her today, it was clear he’d suffered too. She knew him from old and he was still hurting. Over time, Felicity had learnt to block out her deep sadness, but seeing Fergus again, she knew the feelings she’d once had for him were still very much there.
After stamping her snowy boots on the mat outside, Felicity’s nervousness peaked the second she walked through the door of The Grouse and Haggis, the pub owned by Meredith and Fraser, Allie’s parents. This was the first time she’d stepped inside the pub for a very long time but it was exactly how she remembered it. The oak beams ran right across the low ceiling, the private alcoves were still plumped with bright-coloured cushions and the log fire roared.
Huge aluminium pots of chilli and baskets of crusty bread lay on a long trestle table stretched out at the side of the bar ready to feed the hungry villagers.
‘How’re you feeling?’ Rona whispered under her breath.
‘Nervous,’ mumbled Felicity locking eyes with Meredith who was serving Heather the postmistress with a drink.
Immediately, Meredith hitched a smile on her face and scuttled around the bar with her arms flung open wide, hugging Felicity like she was a long lost relative. ‘Felicity … Felicity, my dear girl, it’s great to have you home. It’s been too long.’ If anyone hadn’t spotted Felicity walking into the pub, they certainly knew of her arrival now – she felt like the whole pub was looking her way. Felicity was very fond of Meredith and Fraser; in fact, they used to call her their second daughter. As children, Felicity and Allie had been inseparable and even through their teenage years they had been as thick as thieves.
Felicity pulled gently away from Meredith’s hug to find Fraser now standing next to his wife. ‘Welcome home, Felicity, let me get you a drink. What would you like?’ he asked.