Luc shook off the crushing blow. It didn’t matter. Their past—her decisions since then—had nothing to do with him. She had a sick daughter. He’d deal with that now. The rest? He’d wait until after she left to process.
“Do you need money?” Where was the father? Why was she coming to him for help?
“No. I need...you.”
He had to be missing something. It had been a long time since Cate had needed him. None of this made sense.
“I didn’t know until you’d left. I didn’t find out until you’d been gone for over a month that I was pregnant, and then I kept waiting for you to contact me, to try to fix things between us. But you didn’t.”
He resisted a growl. “You told me not to.” What she’d said...how she’d said it...he’d never forget it.
“I know what I told you.”
His gut bounded for his boots like a loose boulder on a steep hill as he processed the rest of what she’d said. I didn’t find out until you were gone that I was pregnant.
“Cate.” His voice was low and barely existent, but he managed to spit out the question rattling his mind while shock and disbelief ricocheted through him. “What are you saying?”
Remorse brimmed again, and Luc read the truth in the soulful depths before she spoke.
“I’m saying...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. And that she’s yours.”
* * *
Catherine Malory thought she’d understood humility, but she’d never been brought so low as this moment. Who walked into the life of a man she’d lied to, hid a child from for years, and just blurted out that he was a father?
Luc would hate her. And she deserved it. In the beginning she’d felt vindicated keeping Ruby to herself—especially with the way Luc had left and how Cate had grown up being torn between her selfish parents. The feeling of being unimportant had never left her, like a disease that infiltrated her bones.
She’d been attempting to put Ruby first. To protect her. But Luc would never understand that.
He pushed off from the desk, a long, lean giant in a heather-brown Wilder Ranch T-shirt, faded jeans and boots. “I...have a daughter? You’re saying she’s mine?”
His words ached with a misery that resonated in her own chest. What had she done? “Yes. I’m so sorry. I know an apology isn’t enough. I just—”
“Where—” Luc scrubbed a hand through maple hair, though the short cut left little room for mussing. “Where is she?”
“She’s here.”
His head rolled back as if he’d taken a blow to the jaw.
“We came in, and your sister Emma was headed out to the barn. I remembered her from you talking about her, but of course she didn’t know me. She offered to show Ruby the horses after hearing I needed to talk to you. I tried to say no, but Ruby begged to go with her.”
And Cate had realized the conversation would be much easier without Ruby present. She hadn’t processed through that before she’d gotten in the car and trucked out here. But what would she have done with Ruby anyway? She didn’t have family to watch her. A friend would have, but Cate didn’t like to be separated from her daughter. Especially with the girl’s heart condition.
“Emma’s great with kids.” Luc’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Ru-Ruby will be fine.”
Their daughter’s name coming from his lips for the first time sent Cate scrambling to keep her careening emotions under control.
“Why are you here now after all of this time? What changed? And how do I know...?” Luc’s chest expanded. Cate could imagine his heart beating triple time, because hers felt as though it might explode. His heated hazel eyes held hers. “How do I know she’s mine?”
She’d expected it, even planned for it. Still, the sting surprised her. She stated Ruby’s birthday at the end of November. Eight months after Luc had hightailed it out of Denver. “When you first left I thought it was stress making me not feel well. Took me a while to figure it out. By then you were long gone.”
Every last doubt scrolled across his face.
“Ruby was born with an atrial septal defect.”
Luc’s hand splayed against his chest where she knew his own scars were. “Same as me.”
“As to why now, she needs to have the hole closed. And I couldn’t... If something happened to her and you didn’t know she’d even existed...” Cate would never have forgiven herself. She already couldn’t forgive herself for keeping them apart for the first three years and eight months of Ruby’s life.
The familiar rush of fear that came with thinking of Ruby’s surgery and anything happening to her precious daughter blurred her vision. “I knew you needed to meet her before her procedure.” God had been working on Cate’s hard heart, and He’d made that very clear. Almost as though she’d been given a deadline for fessing up.
Since she’d become a Christian about a year ago, Cate had experienced a number of lessons in growing her faith. Trusting God’s insistent nudging to tell Luc about Ruby had been the toughest one by far.
Luc scrubbed both hands across his face as though attempting to wake himself from a nightmare.
“We can do a test to prove you’re her father. Your name’s on her birth certificate.”
Arms dropped to his sides like leaded weights. “If you went so far as to do that...” His voice scraped like sandpaper. Worn. Weary. “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
The question she didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t want to share wasn’t exactly a mature, adult response.
Luc knew about her childhood—and her parents’ divorce—but would he understand how much their actions had messed with her?
“Never mind.” The bite in his tone sent guilt skimming across her skin. “It’s too late for excuses. Nothing you say is going to matter right now anyway.”
“Okay.” Cate raised her hands. Whatever he wanted, she’d do.
Luc sank to the other end of the futon, miles of agony stretching between them.
“Does she need open-heart surgery?”
“No. Cardiac catheterization. They’ll close the hole with a device.”
His shoulders inched lower, his relief evident that Ruby would only need the less invasive procedure that would involve a catheter from her leg into her heart. Already, even with knowing as little as he did about Ruby and possibly not even believing he was her father, he felt for her. Didn’t want her to go through the same trauma he had as a child.
That spoke volumes about him.
“Did you tell Emma who the two of you were?”
“No. I think she thought I was a potential guest or that I was applying for a job.” Cate had been purposely evasive.
His audible sigh filled the small space. “That’s good. At least for now. Does...Ruby know about me?”
“Lately she’s been asking questions, and I’ve started answering them. She knows you exist, but she doesn’t know we’re here to see you.”
Eyes a mixture of fading green and brown leaves seared into her skin. She half expected to see smoke rise and smell scalded flesh. “In case I didn’t see her? If she’s my daughter, I would never walk away from her. I think you know that, Cate.”
Ouch. That truth stung, as did the if. Though she couldn’t blame him. Even with Ruby having the same heart defect as he did, why should he believe her? She hadn’t exactly proved herself trustworthy