He had his own closely guarded secrets and memories. He had plenty of things he didn’t talk about.
As he contemplated her across the table from him, he thought about telling her he understood. He doubted this was the right time. Allie had been questioning her nonstop about Christmas. Once she’d mentioned grandparents, Rebecca had shot her a quick look to quiet her. Jack had noticed, as well as Kylie and Jack.
The five of them were having lunch at Mattie’s Café in town. The proprietor, Holly Jones, had just made it around to their table, passing out samples of a new dessert she’d just invented.
“We need Christmas trees,” Kylie mentioned casually, as she took a bite of the dessert. Her face puckered up and she blinked a few times.
Isaac laughed and Allie hid a giggle behind her hand. He winked at the little girl and they waited as Kylie tried to get her face straight again, smiling across the café at Holly.
“You know she can’t bake a cake,” Isaac whispered. “Didn’t you notice, I put all of mine on Rebecca’s plate?”
Rebecca glanced down at it and her mouth dropped.
Isaac took his sister-in-law’s plate and scraped the remaining cake onto Allie’s. “Holly can’t bake. She thinks she can. She watches those reality cooking shows where they make them put together horrible concoctions like salmon and chocolate. For some reason she probably thought anchovies would make a great dessert. A little lemon, some fish, a dash of poppy seeds.”
“I heard that, Isaac West,” Holly called out from across the room. “You’re a horrible person.”
“Holly Jones, you’re going to jail for trying to poison the good citizens of Hope. There’s no hope for your cakes.”
Allie dissolved in giggles and even Rebecca forgot herself and laughed. Isaac caught himself staring at her. She glowed when she laughed. Her eyes lit up and her smile changed the casual beauty of her face into something extraordinary. If he lived to be one hundred, he would never forget that smile. Kylie elbowed him and he gulped and reached for water. Holly was crossing the room, her brown hair framing her elfin face. Her green eyes flashed with fire. She picked up the plate of cake and placed it in front of Isaac.
“I apologize, Kylie, your lunch is on me. You mistakenly got the cake I intended for Isaac.”
All around them chuckles and laughter filled the café as people realized the joke had been on Isaac. Rebecca took a bite of her cake and smiled at him. “Mmm, delicious,” she said.
“Holly, that just isn’t Christian of you,” Isaac said as he scooped up a bite of the cake he’d put in front of Rebecca. “This is actually edible. It really is lemon. And no anchovies.”
“Fool. It’s lemon and raspberry. I’m tired of you complaining about my inventions.”
“Well, some of them just aren’t that good,” Isaac told her.
She wrinkled her nose at him, and then smiled at Allie. “I bet you’ll be starting school here, won’t you?”
Allie nodded. “Next week.”
“You’ll make a lot of very good friends. There are quite a few about your age in my Sunday school class. We’re getting ready to start practicing for our Christmas play.” She picked up an empty plate as she spoke. “I have to get back to work. You all have a good weekend. See you at church Sunday.”
“Yeah, and I’ll pray for you,” Isaac called out to her retreating back.
“You do that, Isaac.”
“We don’t go to church,” Allie said, to no one in particular. But Isaac noticed Rebecca’s cheeks go slightly pink at her daughter’s revelation.
“How about those Christmas trees,” he interjected. “I love a big old Christmas tree. Especially cedar.”
“Because you know I’m allergic,” Jack grumbled. “We can pick up live trees at the feed store. They’re in pots and we can plant them after Christmas.”
“But we’ll put the artificial tree in the main house,” Kylie added. “The trees at the feed store are pretty, but they’re never large enough for the living area.”
Isaac agreed, but his gaze slid to the woman sitting across from him. Rebecca had a lost look on her face. It had started with the topic of church and hadn’t gotten better when they’d switched to talking about Christmas trees.
She had stories, a troubled past. Right now she had a softness about her that hinted at tears. Not his problem.
He usually stuck to that motto, but Rebecca changed things. Because she didn’t seek attention. She didn’t put her pain out there for everyone to take a look at. She was private, strong and hurting.
He respected that.
He also liked her daughter, and he couldn’t get that sad little voice out of his head when she’d said she didn’t go to church. He remembered being about her age listening to other people talk about the things they did as families, things he never understood. Going to church together was one of the biggies. But there had been other things, like family dinners, trips to the lake, playing ball. A kid shouldn’t have to yearn for the things that childhood seemed to guarantee.
With that in mind he spoke up. “About that Christmas program?” he said to Allie.
The little girl lit up and her mother’s eyes narrowed. “I bet you’d love to be a part of it, wouldn’t you?” he asked Allie. “If your mom doesn’t mind. Every child gets a part and even if something goes wrong, it’s still the best thing ever.”
“I don’t think so,” Rebecca said.
At the same time Allie asked, “Do you think I could?”
Rebecca mouthed the word don’t silently.
He got the message loud and clear.
Someone in church had hurt her. If he had to guess, it probably had something to do with Allie.
Jack got to his feet, steadier today. “We should get on the road. Rebecca is going to make a list of materials she’d like to purchase for the shop. Isaac, you should see to those Christmas trees.”
Isaac grabbed the bill Holly had left on the table. “I’ll do that, but I’d prefer to wait until Allie can go with me. I have a feeling she’s a Christmas tree expert.”
Just like he was an expert at getting involved where he shouldn’t. Allie didn’t remind him of a child in Afghanistan, a little girl with dark hair and pleading eyes. He’d seen her look his way. And then she’d been engulfed by the explosion, the smoke, the violence. Her story never made it to the news. No one thought about her or the tragedy of a young life lost. He remembered. His friends remembered. The image had stayed with them. There were times late at night that he’d get a text from one of the men he’d been stationed with, asking if he still had nightmares.
He did.
“Isaac.” Jack’s voice caught him mid-thought. A hand on his arm brought him back to the present and he managed to breathe, to clear his head. He swiped an arm across his forehead and walked off, still holding the bill for their lunch.
He heard Holly say something like “don’t worry about it, it’s on the house.” Jack told her to take the money. Conversation buzzed around him as he walked out of the café, the door closing behind him, cutting him off from the buzz of curious voices.
As he walked down the sidewalk, a headache started. Throbbing pain began at his temple and radiated down to his ear and above his eye. He leaned against the building, closing his eyes as he drew in fresh air.
“Breathe,” a low