Jace shook his head. “You also know things didn’t end well between the two of us. I’m probably not the most neutral person. She decided she’d rather have my brother than me.”
Daryl had died in a fire not long after Jace joined the army, but that didn’t change the fact that Lillian had chosen Daryl, not him.
“I just want to say officially and on the record that I do not think Lillian is the mole,” Steve said, conviction clear in his voice. “As a matter of fact, I’m hoping you’ll be able to come in and clear her.”
“Clear her? Why me? There’s got to be someone better.”
“It’s a perfect storm of problems,” Ren said. “We need someone we can trust. We need someone who has the skills to infiltrate a SWAT team. And we need someone Lillian may be willing to get close to.”
Jace shrugged. “The first two I might fit. But Lillian won’t get close to me. There’s got to be someone else. Friend. Boyfriend. Somebody.”
“I recruited Lillian basically off the streets nine years ago.” Steve shook his head. “She’s got a tactical awareness and physical control of her body that has only improved over the years with training and education. But, despite being an excellent team member, Lillian has never gotten close to anyone since I’ve known her.”
Jace scrubbed a hand over his face. “Even more reason why she’s not going to get close to me. Some people are just lone wolves.”
Jace knew enough about Lillian’s upbringing to not be surprised that she kept to herself. She wasn’t ever going to be the life of the party. But never having gotten close to anyone? The two of them had been plenty close at one time. Or so he’d thought.
“Our division psychiatrist was killed by Freihof two weeks ago,” Steve continued. “Her case files are confidential, even with her death. But I do know for a fact that Lillian was seeing Dr. Parker regularly. And Dr. Parker believed there was a sexual trauma of some kind in Lillian’s history.”
Ren leaned back in his chair. “Honestly, we were hoping maybe you knew something about that and could use it to foster a closeness between the two of you.”
“I don’t. If that happened, it happened after she and I...separated.” Jace grimaced, tension creeping through his body. Despite her leaving him for his brother, Jace would never have wished something like that on her. Couldn’t stand the thought of someone hurting her that way.
“Like I said, I don’t have any details. And it may not even be accurate. But I know Dr. Parker had suggested that finding someone from her past, someone she knew before the trauma, might be the key to helping her overcome it.” Steve gestured toward Jace. “Maybe you could be that person. Help us find the real mole. Help her work through whatever is in her history.”
“What if she is the real mole?” Jace asked. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t believe it. But it could still be the truth. He’d known her twelve years ago and she cheated on him. Had that developed into even darker tendencies as she’d gotten older?
Steve took a step forward. “She’s not.”
Ren held his hands out in front of him in a soothing gesture. “Steve, you’re too close to this. You know you are.”
Jace jerked his chin at Steve. “You involved with Lillian?”
“No, happily married and a new father.” Steve’s eyes narrowed. “Plus, did you not just hear what I said about her not getting close to people? That particularly goes for men.”
Jace shrugged, studying Steve with hooded eyes. “Thought maybe you might be the exception to that.”
“Steve cares about the entire team,” Ren insisted. “He wants to catch Freihof and the mole more than anyone else, especially given the people they’ve lost. And the mole doesn’t know that we’re on to him. Or her, as it may be. So we want to use that to our advantage. Steve poking around will draw attention. Not to mention he’s not neutral.”
Jace sat back down in the uncomfortable chair. “And you think I am?”
Ren stared him down. “I think I would trust you with my life—and have—multiple times over. I think you have an innate situational awareness that was only honed in your years as a Ranger. I think you will be fresh eyes and able to pinpoint specifics others may have missed.”
Ren leaned back in his chair but didn’t lose eye contact as he continued. “And I think this is a chance for you to finally put your history with Lillian to rest and move on. She’s not the only one who hasn’t gotten close to anyone else in the last twelve years.”
Jace was also a loner. Lillian hadn’t had anything to do with his choice not to settle down with anyone. But that was irrelevant to the situation at hand.
Ren was right—it was time to leave Lillian Muir behind for good.
“Fine. I’ll do it. Another couple of weeks isn’t going to change my plans for the ranch. I just hope I’m able to do what you guys think I can.”
Ren nodded. “Your best has never once not been good enough.”
Jace just shrugged. That wasn’t true. They’d lost men in the line of duty whom Jace wished he could bring back. “I appreciate the sentiment.”
Steve stepped up and shook his hand. “Welcome to the team.”
Lillian had been quick and wiry her whole life. Not just fast with running, although she could average a six-minute mile for ten miles in a row, but swift with everything. Her hand movements, her body movements, how she processed info.
A lot of it probably came from early in her life, when if she wanted to eat, she’d had to steal food from the grocery store or local market. And if she wanted to sleep safely, away from her mother’s drunken wrath or boyfriends’ wandering hands, she’d learned how to move quickly and silently out the window.
Those lessons might have been hard to come by, but each of them had made her into the woman—the warrior—she was today.
Whatever didn’t kill her had better start running.
The SWAT team was sparring and doing some general workouts in the training area until the new guy got there. Another new guy. Evidently this one had a little more experience than Saul, the friendly yet trigger-happy newbie who had been filling in for the last couple of weeks. Or anybody was better than Philip Carnell, the computer whiz who had been working with them as an analyst in hostile situations for the last two months.
Carnell had a mind like a steel trap, but the personality of a horse’s ass. Which was probably an insult to the hind end of a horse. Nobody liked Philip and he had a bone to pick with everybody about seemingly every damn thing. Lillian avoided him whenever possible. Hell, everybody avoided him whenever possible, unless he was acting as Tactical Command, as he had been a couple of days ago. Carnell was great at finding fast solutions in dangerous tactical situations, but he wasn’t physically adept enough to be a part of the tactical team.
He’d only sulked about that fact and gave his opinion about “the unfairness of elitist practices” of the SWAT team about once every hour. Lillian was glad to not have to deal with him in training or in the field.
Saul wasn’t so bad. He tried to get a little too friendly, and grinned a little too much for her taste. But at least Surfer Boy didn’t make her want to lock him in a trunk, like she did with Carnell.
Right now she brought her leg around in a vicious roundhouse kick and hit the punching bag. Roman Weber, her teammate holding the bag for her, took a quick step back.
“Trying to take out all your aggression on one poor defenseless piece of canvas?” He chuckled as he grabbed the bag more firmly.